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The Curt Jester

"It is the test of a good religion whether you can joke about it." GKC

Politics

“Grave assault upon both religious liberty and marriage”

by Jeffrey Miller January 3, 2013
written by Jeffrey Miller

His Excellency the Most Reverend Thomas John Paprocki, Bishop of Springfield in Illinois, has written a two-page letter to be read and/or placed in the bulletins of his parishes this weekend. He is certainly not one to hold his punches.

Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

Our state’s elected lawmakers will soon consider a bill called “The Religious Freedom and Marriage Fairness Act.” A more fraudulent title for this dangerous measure could not be imagined. The proposed law is, in truth, a grave assault upon both religious liberty and marriage. All people of goodwill, and especially Christ’s faithful committed to my pastoral care in the Diocese of Springfield in Illinois, should resolutely oppose this bill and make their opinions known to their representatives.

…

If you want to know what a bill is not about, read the title. Bill titles share something with headlines. They both are poor indicators of the content. Although while headlines are hyperbolic representations urging you to read the content., bill titles are the opposite where they want you to be satisfied with the title and to read no further.

Read the whole letter at Servant and Steward.

January 3, 2013 1 comment
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Link

Half-baked Paganism

by Jeffrey Miller January 3, 2013
written by Jeffrey Miller

Some choice bits from Fr. George Rutler at Catholic Exchange (originally published by Crisis Magazine).

“The Catholic saints are never surprised by joy, because they are only surprised by a lack of it in the world around them.”

“It is sad but predictable that those Religious communities that abandon this purpose of their existence tend to embrace a neo-paganism that lacks the nobility of the best ancient pagans. “Peace and Justice” become to them what the virtues were to the Stoics, but nothing more. Half-baked paganism lacks the savor of the original dish, and the end result is a loss of radiant joy. We may have to endure for a few more years the degrading spectacle of arthritic Religious walking their labyrinths like superannuated debutantes, but the actuarial tables are against them. In the Catholic scheme of things, they are sadder than the Boethians were to the Athenians, for the one thing lacking in the most virtuous pagan soul is the confidence that moved Saint Bernard of Cluny to sing: “I know not, O I know not/ What joys await us there,/ What radiancy of glory,/ What bliss beyond compare.”

When Sinsinawa Dominican Sister Laurie Brink told a 2007 national gathering of the LCWR about “moving beyond the church, even beyond Jesus” it displayed this attitude. Though there is nothing beyond Jesus. Moving behind Jesus and even moving behind Paganism. Jesus once told Peter “Get behind me Satan” as Peter refused to accept Jesus’ predicted suffering and death. “You are thinking not as God does, but as human beings do.” These types of religious communities also tell the descendant of Peter, the Pope, to get behind them and really see him as Satan. But the role is reversed where Peter is teaching with the keys and these communities think as secular human beings do in a world directed not by God through his Church, but in conformance with shallow secularists thinking.

January 3, 2013 0 comment
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Punditry

“Excommunication, I’m still glowing”

by Jeffrey Miller January 2, 2013
written by Jeffrey Miller

Marc Barnes says of this women’s ordination video “Ordain a lady: that “This might be the greatest video ever to happen to the Catholic Church.” and goes on in post Why The Catholic Priesthood Is Composed of Dudes

This is certainly the funniest thing I have seen in a while and one of the best defenses for the Church’s teaching.  I would have been hard-pressed to make a better parody and the words are genius. Well at least it would be a genius video if it wasn’t real.

Though one thing that really gets my ire up.  I am so tired of women’s ordination proponents using Saint Thérèse of Lisieux as if she was also a proponent of women’s ordination.  This is pure calumny.

“If only I were a priest! How lovingly I would bear You in my hands, my Jesus, when my voice had brought You down from Heaven. How lovingly I would give. You to souls!” “Yet while wanting to be a priest, I admire St. Francis of Assisi and envy his humility, longing to imitate him in refusing this sublime dignity.”

By the logic they use I guess Therese also wanted to get a sex change operation to be a man since she admired St. Francis’ humility.  Funny also how women’s ordination proponents also usually leave out the part about envying humility.  But humility does not go hand and hand when you say you are right and the Church guided by the Holy Spirit is wrong.

January 2, 2013 18 comments
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Humor

Predictions and Non-Predictions for 2013

by Jeffrey Miller January 2, 2013January 3, 2013
written by Jeffrey Miller

Here are my sure-fire predictions and thoughts for 2013.

  • “The business of Progressives is to go on making mistakes. The business of Conservatives is to prevent mistakes from being corrected.” –G.K Chesterton
  • That the politicians that got us into this mess will not get us out of it.
  • That the main stream media will get every story regarding the Vatican and/or the Pope wrong. (thus providing continuous fodder for Catholic blogs)
  • That cantors and choir directors will continue to be immune to the “reform of the reform” and totally blind to the example of the Pope.
  • That the musical-stylings of Haugen/Daas/Schutte will continue to dominate accompanied by strumming folk guitarists thus making the Mass contemporary if you still lived in the 60’s. Yes there will be outbreaks of “brick by brick” actual sacred music, but it won’t be contagious in most diocese.
  • That the bracketed, short form, reading of Ephesians 5 will be the one read at Mass.
  • There will be more people attending Ash Wednesday than the Solemnity of the Blessed Virgin Mary, the Mother of God. Maybe we can come up with hangover-cure sacramentals to pass out to correct this.
  • There will still be no Jesuit college/university that joins in the fight against the HHS mandate.
  • The mandatum, which is required of all teachers of theology at Catholic colleges and universities, will still not be implemented and schools will continue to be secretive about who had signed/not signed it.
  • 40 years from now Catholics will be complaining about the catechesis in the generation before. 80 years from now Catholics will be complaining about the catechesis in the generation before. …
  • Jesus is still Lord and we are all still called to be saints.

On the lighter side of things:

  • I just might read a book or two during the new year.
  • Ironic Catholic, Eye of the Tiber, Acts of the Apostasy will continue to make me guffaw on a constant basis along with a vast list of Catholic writers. Creative Minority Report’s “We laugh because we believe” will still hold true.
  • “An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.” –G. K. Chesterton.
  • If you are not a joyful Catholic, you’re doing it wrong.

Predictions with zero chance of occurring:

  • Mark Shea and Michael Vorbis will become great friends after the Dalai Lama intervenes.
  • One of the things Progressive Catholics prophesy actually occurs.
  • Father Z will show pictures of his recently acquired rainbow stole on his blog.
  • Jennifer Fulwiler will start keeping scorpions as pets.
  • Fr Philip Neri Powell, OP will give up reading for Lent.
  • Patrick Madrid will have his voice surgically altered so that he no longer sounds like Patrick Coffin – or vice versa.
  • I will decide to read all the Twilight books and grow to have a fondness for sparkly vampires.
  • The Crescat will reveal her secret prized collection of felt banners on Hoarders
  • Raymond Arroyo will not find a chance to sing during the annual “The World Over” Christmas special.
  • EWTN will also buy The National Catholic Reporter and keep the staff of it.
January 2, 2013January 3, 2013 6 comments
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LinkPunditry

“The disgrace of papal blessing for Ugandan homophobia”

by Jeffrey Miller January 1, 2013
written by Jeffrey Miller

I had originally seen the story of Pope Benedict XVI blessing Jill Filipovic, a politician in favor of the “Uganda Anti-Homosexuality Bill” on boing boing. I didn’t pay much attention to it since the likelihood of them doing an intelligent story on the pope and getting facts correct approaches zero.

Then I saw that the National “Catholic” Reporter did a similar story “The disgrace of papal blessing for Ugandan homophobia”. I also didn’t pay much attention to it since the likelihood of them doing an intelligent story on the pope and getting facts correct also approaches zero. Really there is not much difference between the viewpoints in boing boing and the National Catholic Reporter.

Today I saw that Marc Barnes of Bad Catholic did a post in response to the NCR piece. Such a brilliant take down. His post is just a great read and includes such choice bits as:

Of course, Church teaching on homosexuality is in the bizarre habit of using verbs besides “Hate!” and thus remains widely incomprehensible to minds forced through our culture-war meat-grinder that renders all disagreement the total deprecation and rejection of the human person.

When I first saw the story I thought that this was the case of the Pope giving somebody a blessing, not endorsing any agenda of the person. The funny thing is that the blessing in this case actually never happened. Still as Marc show it is not surprising to find the Pope blessing people with Culture of Death agendas such as the Obama’s and other examples he gives. I love how he turns around the “Jesus ate with sinners” that progressives so love to use.

Bad Catholic has become one of my favorite blogs and such great writing as is evident here proves once again why. There is much engagement even with such a badly-wrong NCR article that goes beyond just sarcastic sneering with analysis as to where it goes wrong.

January 1, 2013 0 comment
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Prayer

Becket List

by Jeffrey Miller December 29, 2012
written by Jeffrey Miller

We should all have a “Becket List” where the only thing to do before you die is to become a saint.

St. Thomas Becket himself was voted “Least likely to become a saint” in his High School yearbook. Well not really, but this would have certainly been the attitude of those who had known him prior to his conversion. He is a great example of wherever you are right now on your own path of conversion that sanctity is always within reach while we still draw a breath. Especially considering the connection of the Holy Spirit and breath.

 

Breathe in me O Holy Spirit, that my thoughts may all be holy; Act in me O Holy Spirit, that my work, too, may be holy; Draw my heart O Holy Spirit, that I love but what is holy; Strengthen me O Holy Spirit, to defend all that is holy; Guard me, then, O Holy Spirit, that I always may be holy. Amen. – St. Augustine

Photo Credit chrisjohnbeckett via photopin, creative commons

December 29, 2012 1 comment
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Other

Blog Redesign

by Jeffrey Miller December 28, 2012
written by Jeffrey Miller

Well it has been a while since I did my last blog redesign. Even when my blog moved from using Movable Type to WordPress a couple of years ago the style staid pretty much the same.

Though I had come to realize that my blog might have looked alright some years ago, it was really quite busy image wise and not that quick to load. In the past I also had minimum support for mobile platforms.

So I decided to do away with the three column format and go with the main area plus one other column. This also gives me a little bit more room since at times I was a little cramped at 500 pixels wide.

I was also admiring the clean looks of some other Catholic blogs that I like. Though I noticed that in almost all cases these blogs were professionally designed. While I have all the pretensions of a designer, I just don’t have the talent to match and so this effort surely reflects that.

My long time image of Blessed Miquel Pro has been moved to my about page since I certainly still need my blog patron.

So if you like the new design or at least are neutral about it let me know. Otherwise do you really want to ruin my Christmastide by telling me that my efforts sucked? Constructive criticism will be appreciated.

December 28, 2012 17 comments
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Pro-life

Rachael is still crying

by Jeffrey Miller December 28, 2012
written by Jeffrey Miller

It is so easy to cringe at Herod’s slaughter of the innocents. This was such an evil man whose lust for power would brook no interference. Where even Caesar Augustus said of him “It is better to be Herod’s dog than one of his children.” A child was seen as a rival and the age of that child was not important, just the threat of the child to his life of privilege.

Yet we have become a society of Herods. Herodian marriages and Herodian relationships. The so-called unexpected pregnancy views the child as a threat. A threat to their current lifestyle. A threat to a financial situation and an individual autonomy that is inward and not self-giving. Children are viewed as a zero-sum game where what they consume of time and money is taken from you with no return. Our openness to new life is dependent on more mercenary conditions that must be satisfied first and if they are not met instead of sending out soldiers for the slaughter we hire the abortionist.

From the bottom to the top of our society the Herodian attitude rules. We have a President that we as a culture re-elected who voted for infanticide rather than to allow any threat to legal abortion. A president who time and time again has seen possible grandchildren as a threat and a punishment for his daughters. We have both Herodian mothers and/or Herodian fathers pressuring for the elimination of a threat. Even those open to life will accept the slaughter of the innocents via IVF as long as one child survives. The Highlander approach to parenthood “That there can only be one” when multiple embryos are transferred to the uterus.

If Herod had known a way to prevent even the possibility of a threat to him he would surely have used it. Sterilization of the people of Bethlehem or injected contraceptives would have been an idea welcome to him if he had enough lead time. We have those tools of manipulation that Herod lacked and we put them to use. First our selfishness demands access to means to prevent life and then we demand that others pay for that means. When children are a financial strain then of course even the prevention of children is a financial strain that must be eliminated. We might point out Sandra Fluke as the cheerleader of this attitude, but the way was paved by the normalization of contraception and the shutting of the door to life.

While our society has many trappings of the celebration of Christ’s birth we also have many celebrations of the Herodian mindset. We have become post-Christian, but not post-Herod.

Mary the Blessed Mother of Christ, pray for us.

Lully, lullay, Thou little tiny Child,
Bye, bye, lully, lullay.
Lullay, thou little tiny Child,
Bye, bye, lully, lullay.

O sisters too, how may we do,
For to preserve this day
This poor youngling for whom we do sing
Bye, bye, lully, lullay.

Herod, the king, in his raging,
Charged he hath this day
His men of might, in his own sight,
All young children to slay.

That woe is me, poor Child for Thee!
And ever mourn and sigh,
For thy parting neither say nor sing,
Bye, bye, lully, lullay.

December 28, 2012 4 comments
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eBook

Ultimate Saints Guide to the Immaculate Conception

by Jeffrey Miller December 27, 2012
written by Jeffrey Miller

I received this from John Quinn (Courageous Priest blog) about a book he and his twin brother wrote.

Amazon is promoting our new book called the Ultimate Saints Guide to the Immaculate Conception. We want to allow you to give it away as a gift to your subscribers/readers starting on December 26th –30th. We are giving it away as a thank you for all of the graces Our Lady has granted us. We humbly ask you, in honor of Lady’s Immaculate Conception, to offer this to you readers as a thank you or Christmas present.

We want to thank you for you time and consideration of spreading knowledge of our Blessed Mother. Knowing how busy you are, we are supplying you a possible post you could copy and paste with code to your site…

I want to say thank you and Merry Christmas. I am very excited to share this unique chance to get a free book about the Immaculate Conception of Mary. It is called the Ultimate Saints Guide to the Immaculate Conception, by Dan and John Quinn. Amazon is promoting this book by giving it away for a limited time (a few days after Dec 26–30).

In this book you will discover:

  • The ultimate proof of the Immaculate Conception.
  • Our Lady’s own description of the Immaculate Conception of Mary, as revealed by Saint Bridget of Sweden.
  • The virtually unknown story of Sts. Joachim and Ann, and their unique role in salvation history.
  • Arguably the best apologetic work of St. Robert Bellarmine, Doctor of the Church. This hidden gem has been read by only a handful of Catholics worldwide.
  • Definitive proof that the Immaculate Conception of Mary was proclaimed since the beginning of the Church. Discover, first hand, the oral traditions of the Early Church and their teachings.

You can download the book for free now at Amazon.

December 27, 2012 2 comments
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LiturgyPunditry

Two Mass-going experiences

by Jeffrey Miller December 26, 2012
written by Jeffrey Miller

I am of the personality that once I find a parish I like I would prefer to make that the only parish I go to. My wife though is of the personality where she likes variety and to alternate among a range of parishes. The positive side of this is that I do see a vast range of how the liturgy is practiced within my diocese. This also means there are about four parishes where I can go to and have zero complaints and several others where my complaints are mainly directed towards the hymns and the folk guitar accompaniment. As a Catholic blogger it also provides me fodder and the ability to commiserate with others regarding the liturgy.

Thus I had two very different experiences on the last Sunday of Advent and Midnight Mass.

To start with the good I was very pleasantly surprised by Midnight Mass at a parish I had not gone to Mass before. I knew they had Life Teen Masses so I was certainly on the skeptical side. This was also the parish that the current Bishop of Birmingham was the pastor of. One of the things I love about Midnight Mass is to arrive early to be able to sing along to and to listen to Christmas Carols. Christmas is one of those few days when you can be pretty much assured of not getting the common Haugen/Daas/Schutte dreck. I was very glad to find a well-trained choir with accompaniment by violin, some brass, and organ. The pre-Mass carols were also an interesting selection including the standards along with some interesting choices such as the Coventry Carol about the slaughter of the innocents – very fitting this year. I was a bit tentative when I saw a bunch of hand bells positioned for use. Again I was surprised when they were put to use by a dozen women quite capably with both a carol done with just the hand bells and other types of bells and with some of the subsequent carols. Really quite beautiful and fitting for a Christmas Mass.

I was also quite delighted with the liturgy itself as much of it was chanted and there was a quite thoughtful homily delivered by the pastor a Vietnamese priest. I was also in for a nice surprise during the “Prayers of the Faithful” where there was intercession for the souls in Purgatory. Now maybe I had heard this done before occasionally and forgot, but really when I heard this I found this so fitting and really something that should predominate.

For a more modern church there were lots of blank walls, but they had a large crucifix in the center and I can forgive much when this is so. That and some good sized statues kept it from being as barren as many modern churches. Plus the Stations of the Cross were quite nice and ones I would not mind meditating before. Usually I find abstract Stations of the Cross where I have to squint to figure out what I am looking at.

The parish I went to on the last Sunday of Advent was another story. It is bad enough to get the folk guitar treatment, but when it is not even good folk guitar it is even worse. Typical Gather hymnal selection with the exception of “O Come Emmanuel.” Now I wouldn’t even mention this since this type of mediocrity is rather common. What punctuated it for me was “Liturgical Gestures” at least that is what they called it. What it really is is a copying of hand motions as practiced by some Protestant churches. They directed the laity to do certain motions with their arms during the “hymn”. Funny how actual liturgical gestures such as bowing during the Creed are never emphasized, but hymn dance moves make the cut.

I try to assign positive motives to people, but the road to liturgical hell is paved with good intentions and hand motions. “Well we have the awesome mystery of the Eucharist, but what can we do to spice it up? Of course hand motions.” The type of thought process that leads to these liturgical experiments betray a certain Protestant mindset totally set apart from the example the Holy Father is giving and and the “reform of the reform” is nowhere to be seen. What concerns me is that this kind of crap is probably not going to be something exceptional in one parish, but is the type of thing to spread to other like-minded parishes. I’ve made peace sort of with folk Masses, but please don’t torment me with “liturgical gestures”, as the Curt Jester I might have a curt gesture for this in response.

Otherwise this will be the next step:
hand

The above is from a helpful Protestant dance ministry that seems awfully close to a parody to me, but if you want to learn messianic dance steps here you go.

Now whenever someone objects to any forms of liturgical dance or other movements some will refer to King David dancing before the Arc of the Convenant. Well when they decide to dance naked like King David I might give more credence to the argument. Though they also forget the part where he had scandalized others and the fact that this was a non-liturgical act outside of the Temple.

Now this is a parish church that has speakers blazoned everywhere in all directions. So that means of course you could not hear the homily or the readings. In contrast the other parish with no speakers in sight, I heard every word annunciated quite well. Now if you are going to use microphones then it just might be a good idea to do some sound testing and to make allowances for the speaking style of different priests. The use of microphones can make people assume that others can hear them. As a child and through my teen years I was trained in the theater to be able to project my voice in an outside amphitheater or a typical auditorium. Yes that does make me a loud mouth, but you knew that already. Maybe the priest’s homily was a good one, but I have really no idea since in 15 minutes I heard words bubble up from time to time. I could have sworn a couple of times I heard “sodomite marriage”, but surely that must have been my imagination. Although I am fairly certain I also heard references to contraception and abortion. If so I would have loved to hear the whole homily from a foreign priest that had not yet had his Political Correctness injection.

On the plus side of things as I had mentioned before from my own Mass-going experience that actual liturgical abuses are becoming much less common and that mostly the problem area now is with the hymns. As most people have assigned this as mostly a subjective area, this area will likely be the last corrected.

Bob Rice and Chris Padgett have a nice parody with “Handmotions in Heaven”

December 26, 2012 7 comments
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About Me

Jeff Miller is a former atheist who after spending forty years in the wilderness finds himself with both astonishment and joy a member of the Catholic Church. This award-winning blog presents my hopefully humorous and sometimes serious take on things religious, political, and whatever else crosses my mind.

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About Me

Jeff Miller is a former atheist who after spending forty years in the wilderness finds himself with both astonishment and joy a member of the Catholic Church. This award winning blog presents my hopefully humorous and sometimes serious take on things religious, political, and whatever else crosses my mind.
My conversion story
  • The Curt Jester: Disturbingly Funny --Mark Shea
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  • One wag has even posted a list of the Top Ten signs that someone is in the grip of "motu-mania," -- John Allen Jr.
  • Brilliance abounds --Victor Lams
  • The Curt Jester is a blog of wise-ass musings on the media, politics, and things "Papist." The Revealer

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