Jan 122017
 

Saw the following article THIS IS PROOF THAT DRIVE-IN CHURCHES WERE A REAL THING IN THE 40S and this did not surprise me. Although I did like the photos. I knew that the late Rev. Robert Schuller started his ministry having services at a Drive-In.

He went from Drive-In to eventually building the Crystal Cathedral. This is of course now Christ Cathedral for the Diocese of Orange. Can’t say that I am a fan of the design, although if Superman ever needs a new Fortress of Solitude maybe the diocese can turn a profit.

Still what if had had continued at a Drive-In? Perhaps the previous bishop would have bought that instead.

So how could Catholics adapt a Drive-In Mass? For one I guess Catholics would have to buy Lowriders so that they could go from kneeling to rising and vice versa.

For the offering they could have a car tag system where they photograph the plate and send the bill. Although postage could be more than the $1 bills collected.

Communion would be a problem though. Maybe they could have a track where people board a train. Yes, bring back Communion Rail.

Imagine the time savings. Many people already leave right after Communion to get to their car. This would eliminate that step.

Dec 152016
 

People in Spain have an “Uber” version of the Confession and it’s awesome

There is now an app whereby a Catholic in Spain can find a priest to meet him or her in order to be offered the sacrament of reconciliation (also known as “penance” or simply “confession”). The new app is called “Confesor Go” (note that, yes, there is one “s” in the Spanish word “confesor”), and there is also a recently-launched Twitter account (@ConfesorGo).

The app identifies the location of the user, and indicates where priests are located nearby, as well as introductory details about the priest, including his name, age, and year of ordination. Confesor Go also includes a list of the Ten Commandments, so that the penitent can examine his or her conscience in preparation for receiving the sacrament.

The app was developed by Father Ricardo Latorre, who has expressed his hope that the app will likewise become available in the Spanish-speaking nations of Latin America sometime within 2017. Of note, Bishop José Ignacio Munilla of the Diocese of San Sebastián in Spain has made himself available via the app, and his brother bishops around the world would do well to consider supporting the use of such an app within their respective dioceses, in order to inspire more of the faithful to make recourse to the sacrament.

This app is not to be confused with a different app launched last month.

(Vatican Radio) In an impressive move to introduce a legacy of the Year of Mercy, a Scottish archbishop has launched what is thought to be the world’s first GPS-powered Sacrament-finding app.

Leo Cushley from the Archdiocese of St Andrews and Edinburgh announced the launch of ‘The Catholic App’ outside St Peter’s Basilica on 22nd November 2016, surrounded by pilgrims and seminarians from his archdiocese, accompanied by the sound of the Scottish bagpipe.

The app will allow users around the archdiocese to find the nearest and soonest opportunities to go to Confession and Holy Mass, as well as Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament.
The archbishop called the app “a little bit of smart technology that could make a big impact on how the Catholic Church brings the mercy of God and the joy of the Gospel to our contemporary world.”

This app was labeled “sindr” by the media.

As for it being “world’s first GPS-powered Sacrament-finding app” that is not close to being correct. Masstimes.org had an early iPhone app out for finding a Mass near you. Although it has hardly been updated, but still works.

Now if only someone in the U.S. would launch a similar app. Although confessional times are fairly universal here. Usually on Saturday before the Vigil Mass or “by appointment”. I only know of one parish in my diocese that has confession before each Mass.

Getting all the data for such an app would be quite the undertaking. You couldn’t just scrape data from parish websites since finding times for confession on may sites is not an easy task.

Now what would I want in a confessional app beyond what you would expect?

  1. Picture of the confessional. Often times its hard to tell a “Reconciliation Room” from a closet from the outside. Usually need GPS just to find it since it is often not in a prominent location.
  2. Ratings of how hard the penances given out are. Because of course I want to find the priest that gives out more severe penances. Seriously though my late-pastor would sometimes give people lighter penances because he would take on a heavier penance himself for them.
  3. A built in voice recorder. This way if I was trying to remember the sins I committed I could just ask my wife to remind me.
  4. If you are still having a hard time determining what to confess, the app could review your Twitter/Facebook/etc feed for helpful reminders.
  5. An Audio Decibel Meter to make sure you are quiet enough to only confess your sins to the priest and not the people in line.
  6. An included calendar to log when you have been to confession. This way you could be like Spock and say “I last went to confession on 15 December 2016 at 4:32 PM”. Reminders to nag you if the time since your last confession starts to get a big long in the tooth.
  7. Displays the text of the Act of Contrition automatically dimming the screen so the priest doesn’t know you still haven’t spent the time to remember it.
  8. A Hail Mary counter to keep track of number of Hail Mary’s assigned that you could then tap to countdown.
  9. A handy compass to display that your confessed sins are now as far from us as the east is from the west.” Nice to know that our confessed sins are the equivalent of GPS not found.

Now the Epic Pew story called it a “Uber” version. Now that would be cooler to have the confessional come to you.

Perhaps like this actual van from the Diocese of Lafayette.

Or possibly something like this done by a non-priest hoaxer.

Dec 072016
 

I do wonder what non-Catholics think of Catholic Nativity scenes before Christmas? It is a small “t” tradition for Catholics to not place the baby Jesus in the Nativity until Christmas/Christmas Eve.

  • I knew it they don’t have Jesus!
  • 404 Jesus not found.
  • Apparently Jesus wandered off when he was 12 and as an infant.
  • You would think as rich as the Vatican is they could afford baby Jesus statues.
  • Is this the Catholic version of Where’s Waldo?

What are your suggestions?

Photo Credit: USSCB

Aug 142016
 

Apparently when you have Poltergeist activity it is not the Ghostbusters, but the Catholic Church.

Police contact Catholic Church after baffling ‘poltergeist’ report

Police officers in Scotland have called in representatives from the Catholic Church after investigating reports of “disturbing incidents” of a “poltergeist” at a family home.

A mother and her teenage son were said to be “extremely distressed” after experiencing what the Daily Record describes as “violent and unexplained circumstances”.

The family, who live in South Lanarkshire, called police on Monday and Tuesday.

“The officers attended expecting it to be a mental health issue but they witnessed the lights going off, clothes flying across the room and the dog [the family’s pet Chihuahua] sitting on top of a hedge,” a police source said.

“The officers called their superiors, who also attended, thinking the cops were perhaps being a bit silly. But it’s being taken very seriously.”

A priest is understood to have blessed the house in Rutherglen after officers got in touch with the Catholic Church.

The mother and son have left their home and are now staying with relatives.

“One problem we’ve got is where we go from here, as no crime has been established, so what else can we do but deal with any reports of disturbances,” the police source said.

No doubt one the Church’s tests for the preternatural is a Chihuahua sitting on top of a hedge.

Still it does remind me of other cases where the Church was brought in over something explicable. Such as in the case the book the Exorcist was based on where the family’s Lutheran priest recommended they go to the Catholic Church for help.

Jun 212016
 

I am pretty sure there is a canonical penalty attached to licking these “Lolipopes.”

Lolipope_Francis

Lolipope_benedict

Lolipope JP2

Credit to term “Lolipopes” to @RicahrdPicardo

Jun 132016
 

If your city is being besieged by criminals and you need to protect your city the best way is with the Magnifcat.

This is kind of an antithesis of the story in the Old Testament of the fall of Jericho. For seven days they marched around the city, with seven priests at the head, and marched around the city seven times.

To protect your city you do something similar by saying the Magnifcat seven times.

My soul glorifies the Lord,
my spirit rejoices in God, my Saviour.
He looks on his servant in her lowliness;
henceforth all ages will call me blessed.
The Almighty works marvels for me.
Holy his name!
His mercy is from age to age,
on those who fear him.
He puts forth his arm in strength
and scatters the proud-hearted.
He casts the mighty from their thrones
and raises the lowly.
He fills the starving with good things,
sends the rich away empty.
He protects Israel, his servant,
remembering his mercy,
the mercy promised to our fathers,
to Abraham and his sons for ever.

Because everybody knows to protect your city from outlaws you need the Magnifcat 7.