tract tips come from various places, and they are like kryptonite for evagenlization. Anyone reading any of these would fly as fast as possible from the kind of diseased faith that would produce such a thing.
While these are not Chick tracts they are of the same rotten fruit.
How do you tell parody from reality. Some days it is really hard to tell such as the case of this actual product.
Whether you have trouble finding good, reliable organists (or other musicians), have no instrument or simply want good music available for outreach, the Hymnal Plus is the solution. As well as churches, the Hymnal Plus is widely used by Schools and Colleges, Chaplaincies in the Armed Forces, Prisons and Hospitals, Retirement Homes, Retreat Centres, Christian Holiday Centres, Cruise Liners, Crematoriums and private individuals – all of whom find the Hymnal Plus provides their complete worship music needs.
As well as providing a complete worship music solution, the Hymnal Plus can also be used to fill in when the regular musician(s) can’t make it. Use it for weddings, funerals and outreach. It’s ready to play any time, anywhere.
The HT–300 features an advanced, high quality sound generator, capable of reproducing up to 124 notes simultaneously. This processing power allows the HT–300 to create pipe organ sounds the right way, by layering individual pipe stops together – just like an expensive electronic church organ does. The end result is far more authentic than the usual simplistic approach found in other products and ordinary midi file players.
When they add a module for badly played folk music it will be a real hit in Catholic parishes. Getting the liturgical acoustic guitar sound down won’t take much effort. Plus considering it can hold 7400 hymns that is overkill for the small number of Haugen/Daas/Joncas hymns actually played each week at Mass.
Plus maybe they can get the robot musicians from the Vincent Price film The Abominable Dr. Phibes
I wonder about developing a Catholic hymnal jukebox app where people at Mass could select the hymns to be played? Or even better one that takes micro-transactions of 25¢ taken to prevent certain hymns from being played. Especially since I suspect that people would select the common fare because that is just what they are use to. We have such a rich tradition of sacred music and each week we get the Chinet equivalent.
Still I guess I prefer actual humans signing “Here I am Lord” for the millionth time than the HT–300 belting out an actual piece of sacred music written before 1970.
It is not enough just to read the Sacred Scriptures, we need to listen to Jesus who speaks in them: it is Jesus himself who speaks in the Scriptures, it is Jesus who speaks in them. We need to be receiving antennas that are tuned into the Word of God, in order to become broadcasting antennas! One receives and transmits. It is the Spirit of God who makes the Scriptures come alive, who makes us understand them deeply and in accord with their authentic and full meaning!
As a past electronics technician I like the antenna imagery. In this case it would be a duplex antenna being able to receive and transmit. Plus it makes sense regarding the “transmission” of faith. Then efficiency of this Gospel antenna is measure by the ratio of what is faithfully transmitted to what is received from the Church. There can be loss of efficiency due to heat since not proclaiming the truth in a charitable way generates more heat than light. With the Gospel antenna you can expect polarization as Jesus amply warned in Matthew 10. If you are not living a life of faith and then try to transmit it to others, expect transmission line losses. Expect resistance and other impedance losses.
Prototype clergydroid Fr. SRT4–11392 celebrating its first wedding ceremony.
Vatican––The Vatican has confirmed reports today that an agreement has been reached with the International Federation of Robotics (IFR) to begin development of what they are calling “Clergydroids.” The news comes as relief to many seminary directors around the world that have seen their numbers plummet in the past few decades. “With so little priests and so many Catholics, this is going to help assure that every parish not only has a pastor of their own, but also an associate pastor,” Father Tobi Riland told the press earlier this morning. “I have had the pleasure of having a prototype absolve me of my sins. I’ll tell you one thing…he didn’t…excuse me, it didn’t forget the words of absolution!” One Vatican official, Monsignor Phillip Rudolph, who spearheaded the negotiations, told EOTT that “when you see those big, blue glowing eyes peering through the confessional grill at you, it feels as though they’re burning right through you. Seriously though…they freaking burn. Look at this burn mark on my throat. It’s a malfunction in the prototype that the IFR promise to resolve before their final launch next May.” Another issue with of the clergydroid prototype Fr. SRT4–11392 includes a recent frying of some of its mechanisms and kinematics after an altar boy attempted to pour water on the clergydroid’s titanium fingers. Witnesses say that Fr. SRT4–11392′s final words before catching fire were, “Lord, wash away my iniqui…iniqui…iniqui…iniqui. Oh, no…just when I was learning to love.”
Stories involving robots that have obtained intelligence have been SF staples over the years. As pure conjecture what would happen if an artificial creature was actually sentient? Then such a creature could come to know God. This could cause problems though (besides Baptism and having to be soaked in rice afterwards to avoid system failure.). I can easily imagine a Robot Ordination Conference upset that the Catholic Church will not ordain them. The horror of inequality and making robots second class citizens in the Church. Robots citing St. Paul There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” while perhaps wearing pant suits. No doubt we would have all the sympathetic story from the media about robots desiring ordination and the injustice of it all. Especially after the Episcopalian Priestbots.
While we are conjecturing about such Priestbots, how about programming them with the three laws ala Asimov.
The first law would obviously have to be “Say the black, do the red.”
Hey maybe just one law would be enough.
In reality though I am extremely skeptical of an artificial intelligence leading to actual sentience. Instead of AI I much prefer SF writer Mike Flynn’s term Artificial Stupidity (AS) as much more accurate term regarding programming of machines.
According to the new laws, revealing or receiving confidential Vatican information is now punishable by up to two years in prison, while newly defined sex crimes against children carry a sentence of up to twelve years. Because all sex crimes are kept confidential, there is no longer a legal way for Vatican officials to report sex crimes.
This happens from time to time when over-the-top satire intersects with a negative narrative. It is just funnier when the self-identified “brights” who live by “pure reason” fall for a satiric story.
Still it is a good reminder for all of us to check the source of an article before committing mouse-click to post. I know over the years I came close to stumbling regarding this before realizing something was satire. I use to run a parody blog with a progressive nun persona called “Thoroughly Modern Mary” and their were a number of comments responding that fell for the satire. Even my “Moloch Now!” parody blog got comments from people who didn’t catch on.
In the intersection of faith and appropriate use of technology there are many questions that have varying prudential answers and a wide range of opinions.
For example the use of smartphones and tablets at Mass or adoration.
Some like Catholic apologist Patrick Madrid will use their iPhone to take notes during the homily. He holds his phone down low so as to not distract others. Others also see no problem using these devices as tools for deepening the faith when appropriate.
While others believe that the use of such devices can be a scandal to others or just plain not appropriate for such use. St. Paul said “All things are lawful for me,” but not all things are helpful.“ and a couple of chapters later in 1 Corinthians also remarked ”Therefore, if food is a cause of my brother’s falling, I will never eat meat, lest I cause my brother to fall.”
It is easy to see how this could scandalize others. If you see somebody using such a device during Mass it is reflexive to wonder just exactly what they are doing? Perhaps they are following along in a missal app with larger type easier to see. Usually though we imagine them tweeting trivial information, liking Facebook posts, or finally beating some level in Candy Crush. Our imaginations regarding what others are doing is often not very charitable and we assume the worst.
This is a serious “first world problem” that needs to be addressed. Perhaps others like me would want to bring an iPad into Eucharistic Adoration for sacred reading and contemplation. Yet do not do so as to avoid scandalizing others.
We here at Curt Jester Laboratories are on the cutting edge of technology and faithful use.
Introducing the iHALO with our patented HALO (Holographic Active Light Orthodoxy) technology. The iHALO will keep you on the straight-and-narrow and not be a cause of scandal to others. When you faithfully use your device in the right context the iHALO displays a holographic indicator.
Simply attach the iHALO to the back of your device and use Bluetooth to pair it to your device.
The iHALO uses a database of constantly updated whitelisted sites, books, and apps to determine when to display the holographic halo. Uses GPS and Masstimes.org to determine if you are currently at Mass to further restricts use or to put it in Eucharistic Adoration mode. The iHALO is totally context aware! So in your off-time “Play Angry Birds and do not Sin” – not said by St. Paul in Ephesians 4:26–27.
But what if you are using your device inappropriately or even sinfully!
Don’t try this at home kids!
The iHALO then goes in to HORN (Holographic Ornamentation Referencing Nonconformance) mode to hopefully shame you into using your device appropriately. Inappropriate usage is logged to the free iHALO app as a reminded for your next confession.
But even using you mobile device for spiritual reading, studying of the Bible, Liturgy of the Hours is not always appropriate. Enable spousal audit mode to enable further restrictions and time limits. For those in religious life religious superior audit mode is available along with Episcopal audit mode for diocesan priests.
While the iHALO can help you with your faith it is device agnostic and available in iOS/Android/and those 4 people with Windows Phone 8.
John Rivera Sedlar is one of the best cooks I know. And that’s partly because you can never guess where his head is going next. The one thing you can be sure of is that the result will be something beautiful. And there’s a good chance it will make you think.
The latest example? Starting Friday night his Rivera restaurant will be featuring a special menu featuring what he’s calling the Pope on a Plate. It’s a custom plate decorated with photographs of recently elected Pope Francis, the Spanish-speaking first pope from the New World.
It’s just one part of a special menu Sedlar is offering celebrating the Argentine roots of the man who was born Jorge Mario Bergoglio. Sedlar says the menu is also a tribute to Archbishop Jose Gomez, who in 2011 became the first Latino in 115 years to head the Los Angeles Archdiocese.
“There’s so much religion in the Latin kitchen, we’re very religious people, and so I wanted to honor that,” says Sedlar.
… The Pope Francis menu features dishes Sedlar says are based on traditional Argentine cuisine. There’s an appetizer of crab chorizo with Patagonian rose wine sauce, entrees of empanadas of pulled beef with habanero chimichurri or chicken milanesa with citrus-arugula chimichurri, and the featured Pope on a Plate dessert, a Plaza de la República gelato sundae with ice creams in the colors of the Argentine flag.
The dishes are available ala carte, or as a $45 three-course tasting menu. Rivera sommelier Mark Mendoza has put together wine pairings featuring Argentine wines for an extra $30.
“Actually we’ve just modernized the dishes,” Sedlar says. “We used the best Jidori chicken we could get for the milanesa and we’re using extraordinary citrus, everything from pink and yellow grapefruit to fingerlimes from Australia. We’re using Cielo Verde rooftop greens [from his garden atop Petty Cash restaurant] instead of regular lettuce.
“I think we’re refining these dishes rather than reinventing. That’s very unusual for me; usually I have to put a twist in there. But this is a very reverent menu.”
Ah a reverent menu. Maybe the Pope has a devotion to the dessert fathers which he reads on Sundae. Not sure the Pope would be thrilled about this offering at an upscale restaurant for foodies in downtown L.A.
This is not the first time Sedlar has incorporated Roman Catholic iconography in his food. In 1993, when he was at Bikini restaurant in Santa Monica, he designed a special Our Lady of Guadalupe plate to go with Day of the Dead tamales.
This created a bit of controversy, at least at first. “We do not believe that the fact that you placed a tamale on [Our Lady of Guadalupe’s] chest is going to bring you any blessings,” was one of the milder comments.
“It was slightly controversial,” Sedlar admits. “We had a lot of Catholic parishioners call us and ask us why we had decided to do that. But once we explained we had done it entirely out of respect, we’d done it to honor Our Lady of Guadalupe, who is the patron saint of the Catholic Church in Mexico, they understood.”
Well the last is not exactly correct since many who had complained about this were not mollified by this explanation.
For example Rev. Gregory Coiro the archdiocese’s public affairs office wrote to Sedlar expressing his concerns regarding the Our Lady of Guadalupe plate. Coiro makes the comparison of using the plates to walking into a restaurant and finding that your napkin is an American flag. “True, it’s a piece of cloth,” he says, “but its a piece of cloth that carries a powerful symbolic value. I was trying to bring it to the attention of the restaurant that this was a misuse of a religious symbol.”