Jan 232014
 

Voting for the 2014 Sheenazing Awards are is now open!

The Sheenazing Blogger Awards get their name from Venerable Fulton J. Sheen, who was amazing at using the newest forms of media to communicate the beauty of the Catholic Church and his love of Christ to the world. They are a fun way to celebrate the excellence of the Catholic blogosphere and honor Venerable

There will be a winner and a runner up in each category. The winners will earn a firm virtual handshake, the pride in knowing that they’ve been named the Best of something by a fairly obscure blog, and the right to display the following on their site:

They have me in the “Funniest Blogger” column. This section includes several blogs I am unaware of an will have to check out.

Jan 222014
 

In my grandmother’s final days battling brain cancer, she became unable to speak and she filled dozens of index cards with random letters of the alphabet. I’m beginning to think that they are the first letters in the words of song lyrics, and would love to know what song this was. This is a crazy long shot, but I’ve seen Mefites pull off some pretty impressive code-breaking before!

My grandmother passed away in 1996 of a fast-spreading cancer. She was non-communicative her last two weeks, but in that time, she left at least 20 index cards with scribbled letters on them. My cousins and I were between 8–10 years old at the time, and believed she was leaving us a code. We puzzled over them for a few months trying substitution ciphers, and didn’t get anywhere.

Fifteen minutes after this was posted this week the code was broken. The answer is rather awesome.

Since this was a question posed in a forum scroll down a couple of entries to see the answer and further decoding.

Dec 252013
 

First off a Merry Christmas to my readers and their families!

SF author and convert John C. Wright has a wonderful and quite exceptional short story on his blog “written in honor of this day” titled “Yes, Virginia, There Is A Santa Claus.” This fairly short story is well worth you time and goes way beyond what the title suggests into a story deep in the faith.

Nov 122013
 

Thomas L. McDonald posts about Stupid Things Christians Do: Tract Tips.

These are tracts left for tips in lieu of money.

tract tips come from various places, and they are like kryptonite for evagenlization. Anyone reading any of these would fly as fast as possible from the kind of diseased faith that would produce such a thing.

While these are not Chick tracts they are of the same rotten fruit.

Here is a tract from a parody I did back in 2004.


Jul 282013
 

During the last week I have heard some noise regarding another “real Jesus” book “Zealot: The Life and Times of Jesus of Nazareth” by Reza Asla.

This week on Catholic Answers I heard a caller ask Jimmy Akin about it and he couldn’t say anything about it since he hadn’t read it. Now though since he has read it now he has posted 14 things you need to know about the new book Zealot.

Jimmy Akin critique goes beyond some of the complaints I have heard about the author of the book and how the book has been presented in the media. In fact those complaints are really not warranted and it is the scholarship (or lack of) in the book that is where the problems lie.

Jun 032013
 

SIOUX CITY, Iowa, October 16, 2009 (LifeSiteNews.com) – Catholics must learn to “exorcise” the so-called “spirit of Vatican II” to end the secularization that has “wreaked havoc” on the Church since the Council, says Bishop R. Walker Nickless of Sioux City, Iowa.

In a pastoral letter issued Thursday to the lay and religious of his diocese, Nickless wrote that he has “no other desire” than to see the reforms of Vatican II implemented properly. However, he said, “It is crucial that we all grasp that the hermeneutic or interpretation of discontinuity or rupture, which many think is the settled and even official position, is not the true meaning of the Council.”

The “hermeneutic of discontinuity,” under the guise of the “spirit of Vatican II,” sees “the Second Vatican Council as a radical break with the past,” explained the bishop. However, “There can be no split … between the Church and her faith before and after the Council.”

“We must stop speaking of the ‘Pre-Vatican II’ and ‘Post Vatican II’ Church,” continued Nickless, who agreed with Pope Benedict XVI that the Council’s meaning “must be found only in the letter of the documents themselves.” “The so-called ‘spirit’ of the Council has no authoritative interpretation,” Nickless said.

“It is a ghost or demon that must be exorcised if we are to proceed with the Lord’s work.”

Kathleen Gilbert at LifeSiteNews

Reminds of something Russell Shaw said in his latest book:

For progressive Catholics the beauty of the spirit of Vatican II was precisely that it allowed themselves to dismiss the Council’s teachings while declaiming themselves the Council”s champions.

I once wrote a “Rite of Exorcism of the Spirit of Vatican II” some years ago in a parody.

I have received a copy of a proposal for a new rite of exorcism currently being considered by the by the Congregation for Divine Worship. This is not a revision to the Rite of Exorcism issued in 1999, but a brand new document for an especially pernicious spirit. The new document is called The Rite of Exorcism for the Spirit of Vatican II. The Spirit of Vatican II Exorcists will be designated as one of the minor orders and these priests will be drawn from those who have already been designated to the Exorcistate and are experienced in expelling demons. The reason behind this I assume that expelling demons is a breeze compared to expelling the spirit of Vatican II from subjects. I will posts parts of this new document with some commentary.

The Bestowal of the Office. The candidates now come up to the bishop, and each touches the book and the actual documents of Vatican II which he presents to them, saying:

Receive, and commit to memory the documents of Vatican II, and have the power to lay your hands upon those possessed by a modern spirit and another gospel, be they baptized or catechumens.

Prayer. The bishop rises and prays for the candidates kneeling before him:

Let us, dearly beloved brethren, humbly beseech God, the Father Almighty, that He may graciously bless these His servants for the office of Spirit of Vatican II exorcist. May they be spiritual commanders, to cast out of the false ideas and heresies that have lead them and others astray. Through His only-begotten Son, Jesus Christ, our Lord, who lives and reigns with Him in the unity of the Holy Spirit, God, forever and ever. R. Amen.

The rite speaks of exorcists as spiritual physicians endowed with the power of healing. This may also refer to bodily afflictions caused by the devil; once the influence of the devil is broken by the exorcism, the affliction ceases.

One of the discussions in the new document, which is definitely in the draft phase, is what to do when the bishop themselves are possessed with the spirit of Vatican II? Some of the drafters have considered an Episcopal intervention done by other bishops or perhaps a single bishop designated for these cases. Some of the drafters expressed concerns about collegiality, but other put forth the example of St. Paul. Whatever the solutions posed it must be better than waiting for a bishop to turn 75.

As with a normal exorcism an investigation is required first. The investigation is required to determine if a person is actually possessed by the sprit of the age instead of mental illness or an attachment to a liberal political party. Mental illness might be a charitable prognoses, but the investigator should take care to find the actual root of a possible possessed persons outbursts.

There are specific signs to look for in discerning Spirit of Vatican II possession. This is not an exhaustive list and a possessed person may or may not hold one or more of the following:

  • Advocacy for women priests. If they spell women as womyn proceed to the exorcism immediately.
  • If the subject has vocal outbursts in a foreign language they do not speak. The exception is if they speak Latin. Latin is a sure sign that they are not possessed by this specific spirit.
  • Denial of the supernatural. If they refer to the miracle of the bread and fish being multiplied as the miracle of sharing do not delay in starting the rite.
  • Advocacy of homosexual acts or same-sex marriage. Outright advocacy is an easy case for this rite. Though normally the exorcist will have to discern for themselves when the subject crouches their underlying belief by concentrating on respect for the homosexual person or their anger at the document on not admitting those with deep-seated homosexual tendencies to the seminary. Asking them straight-forward whether they believe that homosexual acts are intrinsically immoral can cut through the obfuscation.
  • Advocacy of abortion and/or contraception. Appealing to the “seamless garment” is not a certain test for possession, though it is a indicator to dive deeper.
  • If they believe that the document Environment and Art in Catholic Worship which was never approved by the Bishops conference must be held de fidei, but Humanae Vitae and Ordinatio Sacerdotalis can be safely ignored.
  • If when making the sign of the cross they repeat Creator, Redeemer, and Sanctifier.
  • Has subscriptions to the National Catholic Reporter, Commonweal, America, and St. Anthony’s Messenger.
  • Can not say obedience, male hierarchy, Pope Benedict XVI without grimacing

Rite of Exorcism of the Spirit of Vatican II

The priest delegated by the Ordinary to perform this office should first go to confession or at least elicit an act of contrition, and, if convenient, offer the holy Sacrifice of the Mass, and implore God’s help in other fervent prayers. He vests in surplice and purple stole. Having before him the person possessed (who should be bound if there is any danger), he traces the sign of the cross over him, over himself, and the bystanders, and then sprinkles all of them with holy water. After this he kneels and says the Litany of the Saints, exclusive of the prayers which follow it. All present are to make the responses. Do not be surprised if during the Litany of the Saints if the subject becomes uncomfortable with so many pre-Vatican II names. The person might try ot interject other names like for example Gandhi.

It might also be necessary to gag the possessed person. The possessed will often appeal to dialoguing and will attempt to do it for countless hours and then days on end. This faux dialoguing in not an attempt to get to the truth, but to wear you down in sophist arguments. Appealing to Holy Scripture, Apostolic Tradition, and reason are fruitful avenues in most situation, but only the most patient exorcist should try to employ them in this situation since the possessed are normally immune to them.

The next step in the exorcism has been known to produce especially strong reactions from the possessed person. Even if the person is bound it is suggested that a minimum of two people be on hand to hold them down and to assist you. The exorcist after appealing to the Holy Spirit begins to read the actual texts of the documents of Vatican II. As mentioned above be prepared for a violent reaction especially while reading Sacrosanctum Concilium. If the possessed person is not gagged be prepared for obscene outbursts like “Your mother is a homophobe.” Rainbow colored projectile vomiting has also been known to occur. While the text is read the bystanders chant “The power of the text compels you.” Make sure that a medical team is on hand in case the possessed person goes into shock during the reading. They will no be spinning of their head or displaying supernatural phenomenon, but the logic they will use in defending the spirit of Vatican II might make your own head spin.

The following invocation is then chanted:

From all evil, Deliver us, 0 Lord.
From the spirit which denies the text, Deliver us, 0 Lord.
From modernist interpretations, Deliver us, 0 Lord.
From inclusive language, Deliver us, 0 Lord.
From the pride of independence, Deliver us, 0 Lord.
From liturgical abuses, Deliver us, 0 Lord.
From disobedience to the magisterium, Deliver us, 0 Lord.
From an unformed conscience, Deliver us, 0 Lord.
From the spirit of the age, Deliver us, 0 Lord.

The exorcist than commands the spirit of Vatican II to come out

Therefore, I adjure you every modern spirit, every specter from academia, every dissident power, in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, who was led into the desert after His baptism by John to vanquish you in your citadel, to cease your assaults against the creature whom He has, formed from the slime of the earth for His own honor and glory that you leave this soul. I command you moreover that you leave immediately so that this person can not only come to enjoy the actual documents of Vatican II, but that he (she) may appreciate and accept in obedience all of the Church’s councils and magisterial teachings of Holy Mother Church. That he (she) may see the Second Vatican Council as an organic growth and not a starting point of a new church.

Depart, then, impious one, depart, accursed one, depart with all your deceits, for God has willed that man should be His temple. Why do you still linger here? Give honor to God the Father almighty, before whom every knee must bow. Give place to the Lord Jesus Christ, who shed His most precious blood for man. Give place to the Holy Spirit, who by His blessed apostle Peter openly struck you down in the person of Simon Magus; who cursed your lies in Annas and Saphira; who smote you in King Herod because he had not given honor to God. Depart you mischievous spirit that denies sin and calls right wrong and wrong right. I order you depart deceitful spirit to leave and to never return.

All the above may be repeated as long as necessary, until the one possessed has been fully freed.

It will also help to say devoutly and often over the afflicted person the Our Father, Hail Mary, and the Creed, as well as any of the prayers given below.

The Canticle of our Lady, with the doxology; the Canticle of Zachary, with the doxology.

The exorcist then looks for signs that the evil spirit of modernity has truly departed. Have the subject read from the Catechism of the Catholic Church and VII documents and observe their demeanor. If they look comfortable doing this let the person read some scriptural texts. If they can do this without injecting inclusive language for references to God, then this is a further sign of healing. As a final test have the person as a test of obedience recite the Affirmation of Personal Faith. If they can read this without breaking a sweat, screaming in terror, or any sign of discomfort then this is a very good sign indeed. “The devil can imitate humility but he cannot imitate obedience.” St. Faustina

The new rite looks pretty interesting and I certainly hope they approve it soon and make it broadly available. Of course there will be a problem getting the large number of these exorcists considering the extremely large demand. I also heard that they are considering a similar rite for schismatic traditionalists, though they might combine the two since they are just two sides of the same coin of disobedience and misunderstanding of Vatican II.

Mar 232013
 

Within short hours after the Papal election I was already getting email from Catholic stores hawking merchandise with the Pope’s picture on it.

The Crescat has made a most wonderful connection between this and an episode of Portlandia and if you are not aware of “Put A Bird On It”, do yourself a favor and watch it. Growing up in Portland I am a big fan of the sketch comedy show that parodies hipsters and life in Portland (or did I repeat myself?).

The Crescat has done some great commentary on this that I am in awe of while also being annoyed that I didn’t make the same connection.

Mar 212013
 

Six years ago Jay Anderson of Pro Ecclesia * Pro Familia * Pro Civitate created “Anderson’s Law”

“As a debate involving the Catholic Church (either a discussion about the Church specifically, or a discussion in which the Church is taking a position) grows longer, the probability of someone mentioning the sex scandal approaches one.”

While Godwin’s Law of Nazi Analogies is much more famous, Anderson’s Law is one proved multiple times a day every day.

Mar 212013
 

There has been some pro and con reaction to Catholic Vote’s photo showing the current and last two popes with a caption Hope, Faith, and Charity under each one. Now you can’t expect much from such a simple meme to be more than a great oversimplification of these papacies. But that is the problem in that it is an oversimplification and a narrative that just doesn’t fit.

I totally agree with Fr. John Trigillio in his worthwhile post on the subject at The Black Biretta.