Tim Drake posted the funny parody below and asked me if I could provide a graphic to go along with it. So I created this graphic to try to accompany his over the top Veggie Tale parody. The sequence is based on the Newsweek article as reported in this NRO: The Corner’s post. The only quibble I have with Tim’s parody is how can you have a song about a hairbrush without John Edwards chiming in. I could just imagine the battle occurring with John Kerry to try to get a hair brush away from John Edwards.
Reading Newsweek’s account of Kerry’s meltdown over his lost hairbrush, I couldn’t help but chuckle to myself recalling VeggieTales famous Silly Songs with Larry, "Oh Where is My Hairbrush."
This was just too good to pass up. Here are my alternate lyrics – Silly Songs with Kerry (the Pickle).
yrics: The Hairbrush Song Album
Lyrics: From Episode 3–Are You My Neighbor
Narrator: "Our curtain opens as Kerry, riding in a van on his way to his Time Magazine cover-photo shoot, is searching for his hairbrush. Having no success, Kerry cries out.."
Kerry: "Oh, where is my ****’in hairbrush? Oh where is my ****’in hairbrush? Oh, where, oh, where, oh, where, oh, where, oh, where, oh, where, oh, where, oh, where oh, where … is my ****’in hairbrush?"
Narrator: "Having heard his cry, Marvin Grape enters the scene. Shocked and slightly embarrassed by Kerry’s language, Marv regains his composure and reports …"
Marv: "I think I saw a hairbrush back there!"
Kerry: "Back there is my hairbrush. Back there is my hairbrush. Back there, back there, oh, where, back there, oh, where, oh, where, back there, back there, back there … is my hairbrush?"
Narrator: "Having heard his proclamation, Teresa the Prune enters the scene. Shocked and slightly embarrassed at the sight of Kerry’s $1,000 coif, Teresa regains her composure and comments …"
Teresa: "Why do you need a hairbrush? It’s never out of place anyway!"
Narrator: "Kerry is taken aback. The thought had never occured to him. Never out of place? What would this mean? What will become of him? What will become of his hairbrush? Kerry wonders …"
Kerry: "No hair for my hair brush. No hair for my hairbrush. No hair, no hair, no where, no hair, no hair, no hair, no where back there, no hair.. for my hairbrush."
Narrator: "Having heard his wonderings, Dave the Tomato enters the scene. Shocked and slightly embarrassed at the sight of Kerry fuming, Bob regains his composure and confesses …"
Dave: "Kerry, that old hairbrush of yours … Well, you never use it. You pay others thousands of dollars to cut and brush your hair. You don’t really need it. So, well, I’m sorry … I didn’t know. I gave it to Tom Turnip, a homeless man. Here, you can use mine!"
Narrator: "Feeling a deep sense of loss, Kerry stumbles back and laments.."
Kerry: " I’m not using your brush. Not fair! Oh, my hairbrush. Not fair! My poor hairbrush. Not fair, not fair, no hair, not fair, no where, no hair, not fair, not fair, not fair! My little hairbrush!"
Narrator: "Having heard his lament, Tom Turnip enters the scene. Both Kerry and the Turnip are shocked and slightly embarrassed at the sight of each other. But recognizing Kerry’s generosity, the Turnip is thankful …"
Turnip: "Thanks for the hairbrush."
Narrator: "Yes, good has been done here. The Turnip exits the scene. Kerry smiles, but, still feeling an emotional attachment for the hairbrush, calls out …"
Kerry: "Take care of my hairbrush. Take care, oh my hairbrush. Take care, take care, don’t dare not care. Take care. Nice hair. No fair. Take care, take care … of my hairbrush."
Narrator: "The end!"