Earlier this week Mark Shea replies to an email he got from a Protestant who wonders if he has ever heard of the Word of God.
The Word of God? What’s that? Never heard of such a thing. Is that, like, the Bible? We used to read something called a “Bible” I think at our old Church. But that was an awfully long time ago.
Boy, thanks for setting me straight. I have never ever ever heard before that Jesus Christ loves me and desires to save the lost with his free gift of grace! I always thought that I had to perform magical rituals to make God love me. But now that you have so thoughtfully set me straight, I see clearly that when that big black book we used to read in my old church-that-never-taught-me-the-Bible says “Baptism now saves you” (1 Peter 3:21) what it means is “baptism does not save you.”
And thanks also for explaining that when Romans 6 says, “all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death” and “We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, so that as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life” this absolutely has nothing whatever to do with baptism. I really appreciate you setting me straight on that as well.
And finally, thanks for making me see that all that stuff in John 3 about being born again of water and the Spirit really means water and the Spirit are complete opposites.
Golly. It is so good to *finally* after all these years, have somebody who *really* teaches the the Word of God to clue me in. Who would have thought that all those years of studying…. what’s that big black book called again? Ah! Yes! “The Bible”.
Anyway, who would have thought that all those years of studying the Bible could have left me so totally ignorant of what Scripture really means. Thanks ever so for enlightening me.(source)
After that one of his readers wrote him.
When I converted to Catholicism, it was the statue worship that appealed to me the most, but banner worship has its appeal as well. Historians have been able to show that pagans also worshiped primitive banners so either one has authentic Catholic-pagan connections.
I also liked that I didn’t have to read the Bible any more and that I would have to earn my way to Heaven. Besides that, I really appreciated the fact that I could check my brain at the door and blindly follow the leaders.
A really cool part of Catholicism is that now I can commit all of my favorite sins and then go to Confession right before I go out and do them again!! Actually, while I was Protestant, I guess I did that too, but without the Confession part. But sitting in that little room just feels so holy, especially with the statues nearby.
Then at Mass I usually get to listen to my favorite song, “On Eagles Wings” though I must admit I don’t like it now as much as the first 67,000 times I heard it. The cannibalism aspect, I have to admit, grosses me out a little, but I comfort myself by knowing that it is a false doctrine anyway and so it is only really bread.
And Mark commented.
I know exactly how you feel. For me, it’s the chance to worship Mary and adore her as the Creator of Almighty God that is so appealing. And, of course, I really love knowing that salvation is completely up to me and my righteousness apart from the grace of God. Also, the deep pride I feel in the Church’s many Inquisitors, cold-blooded killers, persecutors, perverts and criminals was a big draw. Some people think this is problem, but I frankly have no idea what they are talking about. I am aware of no commands of God against these things because, of course, I never read the Bible.
Which reminds me: I just *love* adding absurd human traditions, myths and legends to the pure word of God. Also, I get a real kick out of enslaving myself to little rules and regulations so as to chain myself with fear and cut myself off from the love of God.
If *you’re* an ignorant benighted Catholic like me, feel free to add your favorite spiritually crippling legend, lie, or practice to the pool. The more the merrier! That’s what makes enslavement to the traditions of men and blindness to the saving gospel of Jesus Christ fun!(source)
All this is pretty funny and I thought I would add my own two cents: What is cool about Catholicism is not only don’t we read the bible but we also added seven books to it. How is that for panache. We dislike the Bible so much that our churches use missalettes instead to make sure that we are prevented from seeing too much of it. We pray the rosary and litanies because we just love vain repetitions. We also have so much fun calling our priests father. We purposely do all of this things just because it annoys Protestants. We appose abortion and birth control just so we can have infants to baptize and to continue popery in the world. Hopefully if we flood the market with babies one day we will get a true Catholic in the White House. One that will take orders directly from the Pope. They will have a special phone installed directly connected to the Vatican called the Vat Phone. Maybe whenever the president needs help he can use a special spotlight in the sky that shows a crucifix and swiss guards will parachute into the U.S. Another thing that attracts people to the church is the whore of babylon. Just imagine 265 popes and they always managed to become the whore of Babylon. You would think by the book of Revelation that there is only one Whore of Babylon, yet each year our Pope manages to regain the title. Another thing Catholics like is not going straight to God. We just all prefer middleman like going through Mary and the Saints instead of straight to Jesus. Statues, Icon, and reliquaries all purposely used to obscure the word of God. Whenever a couple Catholics get together we spend out time making up new doctrines and more rules that we don’t follow. We were doing just fine until that foul printing press made the Bible available to common people.
