Dec 062017

A new activist group has appeared and starting to protest across the country known as Antifa-la-la. This movement is a conglomeration of autonomous, self-styled, anti-divinity denying groups.

This activist group protests the rising number of people who deny the divinity of Christ from Jehovah Witnesses to the Nones. While protesting they dress anonymously as St. Nick. They choose St. Nicholas the Bishop of Myra during the time of the Council of Nicea. Members have been known to pass along the meme “Punch a Heretic”, an allusion to St. Nicholas punching Arius at the Council of Nicea. While this story is a total myth, they use it to justify violent confrontations with anti-divinity elements.

The name Antifa-la-la was taken as a reaction to the secularization of Christmas and the “Reason for the Season”. John Kook, a member of the Portland Antifa-la-la, said “We will come at you with solid apologetics or a fist. Listen to the trilemma or we will put you in a coma.”

References: “Steven D. Greydanus on the ahistorical legend regarding punching Arius”

Aug 222017

A recent decision by the Knights of Columbus has sown discord among some of the Knights of Columbus.

Earlier this month, the Knights of Columbus board of directors unanimously voted to adopt a new uniform for the Fourth Degree. The decision was made with the good of the entire Order in mind. While we understand that some members may prefer the old regalia, the supreme master and vice supreme masters urge all Fourth Degree members to put the good of the Order before any personal preference.

The previous regalia worn by Fourth Degree Knights.

Photo via Flick, Creative Commons

Is being replaced with a more modern version.

The move was in answer to comments received by prospective members put off by the historic regalia. While some see this as positive move, others are less pleased.

A new group calling themselves the “Pius Knights of Columbus” has split off ordaining there own board members in direct opposition to Supreme Knight Anderson and without receiving permission. These schismatic Knights consider the traditional regalia as “The Uniform for the Ages” which as been in use with some changes since 1900. They refer to the updated uniform pejoratively as the “Novus Uniformus” and don’t consider it valid regalia for events.

Some of these breakaway knights for further in believing that there is no current valid Supreme Knight and that the last valid Supreme Knight was Luke E. Hart who served from 1953–1964 and was instrumental in having “Under God” added to the Pledge of Allegiance.

Members of the “Pius Knights of Columbus” are petitioning Pope Francis to issue a Motu Proprio allowing a stable group of Knights to wear the uniform beyond the June 30, 2018 cutoff date.

Aug 072017

Joe Manning has been attending daily Mass at St. Rita’s Catholic Church for the last ten months. He has not missed a day and while being quiet and attentive, has been ostracized by other daily Mass attenders. He has been wanting to get more involved in parish life, but is turned away.

A fellow parishioner, who wishes to be anonymous, told us. “While Joe seems to be a nice enough guy, there is just something off about him. Mostly we find his lack of a ”I Believe“ bumper sticker disturbing. We have them available for free on a chair at the back of the chapel. So what goes? Considering that every other daily Mass attendee has this sticker, he really sticks out.”

Another anonymous parishioner expressed similar thoughts. “Maybe it would be of no notice if he perhaps had a pro-life, Rosary, or other bumper sticker. But when it was noticed he didn’t even have a Rosary hanging on his mirror, we knew something was seriously wrong. I can’t fault his behavior at Mass, but if he really loved Jesus in the Eucharist then where is his ”I Believe“ sticker?”

Jan 172017

The Philatelic and Numismatic Office of the Vatican has announced a new series of collection stamps – Great Heretics.

The new series will start off in 2017 with everyone’s favorite heretic Martin Luther to memorialize 500 years of schism. Catholics are now able to hear Luther’s challenge for the Church of today, recognising him as a “witness to the gospel” – a statement recently made by the Pontifical Council for Promoting Christian Unity.

Just when you thought the Catholic Church couldn’t lick Protestantism, you can now lick a Protestant.

Future stamps in this very collectable series will feature Mar Nestorius who was condemned by the Council of Ephesus in 431.

Plus who can forget Fr. Arius whose theology brought about the First Council of Nicaea,

Three great heretics bringing about three great councils – order yours today.

Caveat LifeSiteNews says they confirmed the Martin Luther stamp with the Philatelic and Numismatic Office. Still I am dubious since they are often not a reliable source. Yet at this stage nothing would surprise me.

Sep 182014

With the rumor that Pope Francis plans to remove Cardinal Raymond Burke from head of the Apostolic Signatura and and given a non-curial assignment as patron of the Order of Malta traditionalist are up-in-arms. Feeling that no doubt this outspoken cardinal is being punished for his support of the Traditional Latin Mass. Rod Traud the blogger at Novus Ordo Crimes posted:

The only possible explanation of this action is that it is just another spit-in-the-eye at “self-absorbed promethean neopelagianism.” The Pope is a darling of the media because he is willing to throw traditionalist under the bus and abandon Mother Church for popular acclaim.

Instead of just sitting back and watching the purge of the Church of good people like Cardinal Burke we need to take action and to let our displeasure known. We can not just continually be kicked to the curb while the wildest liturgical abuses get no attention at all.

So this Sunday on the Twenty-Fifth Sunday in Ordinary Time I strongly urge that all those who love the liturgy and the faith go to a Novus Ordo Mass in your diocese and protest this action by wearing a dark hood with only the eyes cut out. I realize going to a regular parish Mass will be a great suffering, but we must be willing to sacrifice and do even that.

The black hood, named after the Cardinal, symbolizes.

  • Being silenced by the Church
  • We are kept in the dark and not consulted
  • That our voices are not allowed to be heard
  • Mourning for the loss of the good Cardinal in his role defending the Church canonically.

So this Sunday protest silently with your hoods in solidarity with all the true defenders of the faith!

For further news see Cardinal Burke Demoted To Chaplain Of Akron RubberDucks Minor League Baseball Team.

May 212014

<Roto Reuters> CINCINNATI A married man and former Brother did something his church doctrine says he cannot do.

Paul Hoeffer became a religious sister.

On Friday, the Deer Park resident became the 1st man to be “vowed” as a religious sister as part of the “Mens Sisterazation Movement”. A female bishop who says she was ordained by a male Catholic bishop she met in a coffee shop. led the ceremony.

Paul Hoeffer, who has taken the name “Sister Paul of the Non-Gendered Relationships in God”, released a statement:

“As a former Catholic Brother I was fed up with being a second class citizen when it came to vowed religious. Catholic Brothers are the Rodney Dangerfield of religion in that ”we get no respect.“ First off if you’re a Catholic Brother, people think you just didn’t have what it takes to be a priest. Then there is the fact that we get no attention whatsoever. Was there ever a ”Flying Brother“, ”Brother Act“, ”Two Mules for Brother Sean“ or any Hollywood attention regarding Brothers? How many Brothers had a number one hit on the charts or got viral attention on YouTube of a Brother singing a contemporary song? Again zero. If we went on a social justice tour with a bus the media wouldn’t care and no Brothers have gotten a pen from the President for helping to pass legislation.”

“Nobody ever dresses up as a Brother on Halloween and plus we don’t get to wear a wimple, cornette, or any other attention-grabbing headpiece. Plus even when Brothers go off the theological reservation they don’t get the same attention from the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith. Even if this happened we would not get the same fawning media attention defending anything we might do.”

“All the power is really with religious sisters, which is so unfair. Scripture says ”There is neither Jew nor Greek“ and yet the Church would deny my vocation as a religious sister? When the Vatican proclaims that men can not adequately represent religious sisterness they are denying that we are equal in Christ. Besides there is a statue in Rome that just might depict a male Sister if you squint your eyes at the right time of day.”

The Archdiocese of Cincinnati issued the following statement:

“Church law and teaching are clear that only a baptized female can be vowed as a women’s religious ub the Catholic Church. Any attempted vowing of men to the Catholic women’s religious life is therefore invalid, and would be even in the unlikely event that a validly ordained bishop met in a coffee shop presided.”

Hoeffer did it anyway – even if it does mean excommunication from his church.

“I’m breaking that code. And I also believe that code was man-made and I really really want to be part of the Church where I think everything I don’t agree with, which is a lot, was man-made.”

Feb 102014

Roto Reuters – Today the little known federal agency the United States Fisheaters and Worshiplife Service (FWS) acted in accordance with section Sec.3.6, Sec.4.a of the Endangered Species Act (ESA). Secretary Mortain announced that male altar servers would now be protected by the ESA. The Secretary said “While sightings of male altar servers continue to be reported that in many parishes they are being overwhelmed by populations of female altar servers.”

The FWS has previously setup safe harbor agreements in some areas. This policy’s main purpose is to promote voluntary management for listed species on non-Federal property while giving assurances to participating diocese that no additional future regulatory restrictions will be imposed. The agreements benefit endangered and threatened species. The safe harbor agreement with Bishop Bruskewitz the previous bishop of the Diocese of Lincoln have been fruitful where male altar servers were in their native habitat and protected from competing populations.

Secretary Mortain noted the previous safe harbor agreements, but said “While there are thriving male altar server populations in some parishes or even some diocese it is also evident that the species is threatened in the large majority of parishes. We must act now so that future generations will not be deprived of this species and the related endangered species the parish priest.”

News of the FWS decision caused an outcry from many groups within an outside the government. The common thread of these complaints is that male altar servers should just be allowed to die out naturally and replaced. A spokesperson for Greenpax protested “Where will this end? If we start to protest such naturally declining populations will we then also have to protect Catholic men because of their declining populations at Mass compared to Catholic women?”

historic picture of altar servers

Historic picture showing a time when male altar servers were not endangered and could be found in any parish.


Photo credit: Gora Gray via photopin cc

Dec 032013

small_8060908233<Roto Reuters – Random Lake, WI> Parishioners on Sunday at St. Nicholas of Myra were stunned to hear and to find out that there is more than one Advent Hymn. Parishioner Karla Townsend said “The opening hymn was ‘O come, O come, Emmanuel’ so I was all settled in for the normal repertoire during the rest of the Mass. Later I heard ”People look East“ and ”O Come, Divine Messiah“ and was shocked to realize that they also related to Advent. Who knew?”

Cantor Jaime Willis related “After Mass many surprised people came up to me rather upset that I introduced other Advent songs. When I mentioned that next week we would be singing ”Creator Of The Stars Of Night“, ”Lo How a Rose E’er Blooming“, and ”Rorate Caeli“ they weren’t very happy that there were even more of them. One gentleman told me that even though he never sings at Mass, introducing new Advent hymns was way to confusing. Besides he said ”If ‘O come, O come, Emmanuel’ was good enough for Advent for the last forty years it was good enough for him.”

Fr. Alan Ray, pastor of St. Nicholas of Myra, also fielded questions from parishioners after Mass. “I think I am going to have to do more catechesis regarding Advent. I now realize hardly anybody understood that Advent was a distinct liturgical season and not just ‘Christmas warm-up.’”

Photo credit: Bill Ruhsam via photopin Creative Commons

Aug 202013

In the intersection of faith and appropriate use of technology there are many questions that have varying prudential answers and a wide range of opinions.

For example the use of smartphones and tablets at Mass or adoration.

Some like Catholic apologist Patrick Madrid will use their iPhone to take notes during the homily. He holds his phone down low so as to not distract others. Others also see no problem using these devices as tools for deepening the faith when appropriate.

While others believe that the use of such devices can be a scandal to others or just plain not appropriate for such use. St. Paul said “All things are lawful for me,” but not all things are helpful.“ and a couple of chapters later in 1 Corinthians also remarked ”Therefore, if food is a cause of my brother’s falling, I will never eat meat, lest I cause my brother to fall.”

It is easy to see how this could scandalize others. If you see somebody using such a device during Mass it is reflexive to wonder just exactly what they are doing? Perhaps they are following along in a missal app with larger type easier to see. Usually though we imagine them tweeting trivial information, liking Facebook posts, or finally beating some level in Candy Crush. Our imaginations regarding what others are doing is often not very charitable and we assume the worst.

This is a serious “first world problem” that needs to be addressed. Perhaps others like me would want to bring an iPad into Eucharistic Adoration for sacred reading and contemplation. Yet do not do so as to avoid scandalizing others.

We here at Curt Jester Laboratories are on the cutting edge of technology and faithful use.

Introducing the iHALO with our patented HALO (Holographic Active Light Orthodoxy) technology. The iHALO will keep you on the straight-and-narrow and not be a cause of scandal to others. When you faithfully use your device in the right context the iHALO displays a holographic indicator.

Simply attach the iHALO to the back of your device and use Bluetooth to pair it to your device.

The iHALO uses a database of constantly updated whitelisted sites, books, and apps to determine when to display the holographic halo. Uses GPS and to determine if you are currently at Mass to further restricts use or to put it in Eucharistic Adoration mode. The iHALO is totally context aware! So in your off-time “Play Angry Birds and do not Sin” – not said by St. Paul in Ephesians 4:26–27.

But what if you are using your device inappropriately or even sinfully!

Don't try this at home kids!

Don’t try this at home kids!

The iHALO then goes in to HORN (Holographic Ornamentation Referencing Nonconformance) mode to hopefully shame you into using your device appropriately. Inappropriate usage is logged to the free iHALO app as a reminded for your next confession.

But even using you mobile device for spiritual reading, studying of the Bible, Liturgy of the Hours is not always appropriate. Enable spousal audit mode to enable further restrictions and time limits. For those in religious life religious superior audit mode is available along with Episcopal audit mode for diocesan priests.

While the iHALO can help you with your faith it is device agnostic and available in iOS/Android/and those 4 people with Windows Phone 8.

Jun 032013

SIOUX CITY, Iowa, October 16, 2009 ( – Catholics must learn to “exorcise” the so-called “spirit of Vatican II” to end the secularization that has “wreaked havoc” on the Church since the Council, says Bishop R. Walker Nickless of Sioux City, Iowa.

In a pastoral letter issued Thursday to the lay and religious of his diocese, Nickless wrote that he has “no other desire” than to see the reforms of Vatican II implemented properly. However, he said, “It is crucial that we all grasp that the hermeneutic or interpretation of discontinuity or rupture, which many think is the settled and even official position, is not the true meaning of the Council.”

The “hermeneutic of discontinuity,” under the guise of the “spirit of Vatican II,” sees “the Second Vatican Council as a radical break with the past,” explained the bishop. However, “There can be no split … between the Church and her faith before and after the Council.”

“We must stop speaking of the ‘Pre-Vatican II’ and ‘Post Vatican II’ Church,” continued Nickless, who agreed with Pope Benedict XVI that the Council’s meaning “must be found only in the letter of the documents themselves.” “The so-called ‘spirit’ of the Council has no authoritative interpretation,” Nickless said.

“It is a ghost or demon that must be exorcised if we are to proceed with the Lord’s work.”

Kathleen Gilbert at LifeSiteNews

Reminds of something Russell Shaw said in his latest book:

For progressive Catholics the beauty of the spirit of Vatican II was precisely that it allowed themselves to dismiss the Council’s teachings while declaiming themselves the Council”s champions.

I once wrote a “Rite of Exorcism of the Spirit of Vatican II” some years ago in a parody.

I have received a copy of a proposal for a new rite of exorcism currently being considered by the by the Congregation for Divine Worship. This is not a revision to the Rite of Exorcism issued in 1999, but a brand new document for an especially pernicious spirit. The new document is called The Rite of Exorcism for the Spirit of Vatican II. The Spirit of Vatican II Exorcists will be designated as one of the minor orders and these priests will be drawn from those who have already been designated to the Exorcistate and are experienced in expelling demons. The reason behind this I assume that expelling demons is a breeze compared to expelling the spirit of Vatican II from subjects. I will posts parts of this new document with some commentary.

The Bestowal of the Office. The candidates now come up to the bishop, and each touches the book and the actual documents of Vatican II which he presents to them, saying:

Receive, and commit to memory the documents of Vatican II, and have the power to lay your hands upon those possessed by a modern spirit and another gospel, be they baptized or catechumens.

Prayer. The bishop rises and prays for the candidates kneeling before him:

Let us, dearly beloved brethren, humbly beseech God, the Father Almighty, that He may graciously bless these His servants for the office of Spirit of Vatican II exorcist. May they be spiritual commanders, to cast out of the false ideas and heresies that have lead them and others astray. Through His only-begotten Son, Jesus Christ, our Lord, who lives and reigns with Him in the unity of the Holy Spirit, God, forever and ever. R. Amen.

The rite speaks of exorcists as spiritual physicians endowed with the power of healing. This may also refer to bodily afflictions caused by the devil; once the influence of the devil is broken by the exorcism, the affliction ceases.

One of the discussions in the new document, which is definitely in the draft phase, is what to do when the bishop themselves are possessed with the spirit of Vatican II? Some of the drafters have considered an Episcopal intervention done by other bishops or perhaps a single bishop designated for these cases. Some of the drafters expressed concerns about collegiality, but other put forth the example of St. Paul. Whatever the solutions posed it must be better than waiting for a bishop to turn 75.

As with a normal exorcism an investigation is required first. The investigation is required to determine if a person is actually possessed by the sprit of the age instead of mental illness or an attachment to a liberal political party. Mental illness might be a charitable prognoses, but the investigator should take care to find the actual root of a possible possessed persons outbursts.

There are specific signs to look for in discerning Spirit of Vatican II possession. This is not an exhaustive list and a possessed person may or may not hold one or more of the following:

  • Advocacy for women priests. If they spell women as womyn proceed to the exorcism immediately.
  • If the subject has vocal outbursts in a foreign language they do not speak. The exception is if they speak Latin. Latin is a sure sign that they are not possessed by this specific spirit.
  • Denial of the supernatural. If they refer to the miracle of the bread and fish being multiplied as the miracle of sharing do not delay in starting the rite.
  • Advocacy of homosexual acts or same-sex marriage. Outright advocacy is an easy case for this rite. Though normally the exorcist will have to discern for themselves when the subject crouches their underlying belief by concentrating on respect for the homosexual person or their anger at the document on not admitting those with deep-seated homosexual tendencies to the seminary. Asking them straight-forward whether they believe that homosexual acts are intrinsically immoral can cut through the obfuscation.
  • Advocacy of abortion and/or contraception. Appealing to the “seamless garment” is not a certain test for possession, though it is a indicator to dive deeper.
  • If they believe that the document Environment and Art in Catholic Worship which was never approved by the Bishops conference must be held de fidei, but Humanae Vitae and Ordinatio Sacerdotalis can be safely ignored.
  • If when making the sign of the cross they repeat Creator, Redeemer, and Sanctifier.
  • Has subscriptions to the National Catholic Reporter, Commonweal, America, and St. Anthony’s Messenger.
  • Can not say obedience, male hierarchy, Pope Benedict XVI without grimacing

Rite of Exorcism of the Spirit of Vatican II

The priest delegated by the Ordinary to perform this office should first go to confession or at least elicit an act of contrition, and, if convenient, offer the holy Sacrifice of the Mass, and implore God’s help in other fervent prayers. He vests in surplice and purple stole. Having before him the person possessed (who should be bound if there is any danger), he traces the sign of the cross over him, over himself, and the bystanders, and then sprinkles all of them with holy water. After this he kneels and says the Litany of the Saints, exclusive of the prayers which follow it. All present are to make the responses. Do not be surprised if during the Litany of the Saints if the subject becomes uncomfortable with so many pre-Vatican II names. The person might try ot interject other names like for example Gandhi.

It might also be necessary to gag the possessed person. The possessed will often appeal to dialoguing and will attempt to do it for countless hours and then days on end. This faux dialoguing in not an attempt to get to the truth, but to wear you down in sophist arguments. Appealing to Holy Scripture, Apostolic Tradition, and reason are fruitful avenues in most situation, but only the most patient exorcist should try to employ them in this situation since the possessed are normally immune to them.

The next step in the exorcism has been known to produce especially strong reactions from the possessed person. Even if the person is bound it is suggested that a minimum of two people be on hand to hold them down and to assist you. The exorcist after appealing to the Holy Spirit begins to read the actual texts of the documents of Vatican II. As mentioned above be prepared for a violent reaction especially while reading Sacrosanctum Concilium. If the possessed person is not gagged be prepared for obscene outbursts like “Your mother is a homophobe.” Rainbow colored projectile vomiting has also been known to occur. While the text is read the bystanders chant “The power of the text compels you.” Make sure that a medical team is on hand in case the possessed person goes into shock during the reading. They will no be spinning of their head or displaying supernatural phenomenon, but the logic they will use in defending the spirit of Vatican II might make your own head spin.

The following invocation is then chanted:

From all evil, Deliver us, 0 Lord.
From the spirit which denies the text, Deliver us, 0 Lord.
From modernist interpretations, Deliver us, 0 Lord.
From inclusive language, Deliver us, 0 Lord.
From the pride of independence, Deliver us, 0 Lord.
From liturgical abuses, Deliver us, 0 Lord.
From disobedience to the magisterium, Deliver us, 0 Lord.
From an unformed conscience, Deliver us, 0 Lord.
From the spirit of the age, Deliver us, 0 Lord.

The exorcist than commands the spirit of Vatican II to come out

Therefore, I adjure you every modern spirit, every specter from academia, every dissident power, in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, who was led into the desert after His baptism by John to vanquish you in your citadel, to cease your assaults against the creature whom He has, formed from the slime of the earth for His own honor and glory that you leave this soul. I command you moreover that you leave immediately so that this person can not only come to enjoy the actual documents of Vatican II, but that he (she) may appreciate and accept in obedience all of the Church’s councils and magisterial teachings of Holy Mother Church. That he (she) may see the Second Vatican Council as an organic growth and not a starting point of a new church.

Depart, then, impious one, depart, accursed one, depart with all your deceits, for God has willed that man should be His temple. Why do you still linger here? Give honor to God the Father almighty, before whom every knee must bow. Give place to the Lord Jesus Christ, who shed His most precious blood for man. Give place to the Holy Spirit, who by His blessed apostle Peter openly struck you down in the person of Simon Magus; who cursed your lies in Annas and Saphira; who smote you in King Herod because he had not given honor to God. Depart you mischievous spirit that denies sin and calls right wrong and wrong right. I order you depart deceitful spirit to leave and to never return.

All the above may be repeated as long as necessary, until the one possessed has been fully freed.

It will also help to say devoutly and often over the afflicted person the Our Father, Hail Mary, and the Creed, as well as any of the prayers given below.

The Canticle of our Lady, with the doxology; the Canticle of Zachary, with the doxology.

The exorcist then looks for signs that the evil spirit of modernity has truly departed. Have the subject read from the Catechism of the Catholic Church and VII documents and observe their demeanor. If they look comfortable doing this let the person read some scriptural texts. If they can do this without injecting inclusive language for references to God, then this is a further sign of healing. As a final test have the person as a test of obedience recite the Affirmation of Personal Faith. If they can read this without breaking a sweat, screaming in terror, or any sign of discomfort then this is a very good sign indeed. “The devil can imitate humility but he cannot imitate obedience.” St. Faustina

The new rite looks pretty interesting and I certainly hope they approve it soon and make it broadly available. Of course there will be a problem getting the large number of these exorcists considering the extremely large demand. I also heard that they are considering a similar rite for schismatic traditionalists, though they might combine the two since they are just two sides of the same coin of disobedience and misunderstanding of Vatican II.