Jan 242016
 

This is pretty funny – TrumpScript is a programming language that thinks and acts like Donald.

Warning: Programming geek humor ahead.

Features

  • All numbers must be strictly greater than 1 million. The small stuff is inconsequential to us.
  • There are no import statements allowed. All code has to be home-grown and American made.
  • Instead of True and False, we have fact and lie.
  • Only the most popular English words, Trump’s favorite words, and current politician names can be used as variable names.
  • Error messages are mostly quotes directly taken from Trump himself.
  • All programs must end with America is great.
  • Our language will automatically correct Forbes’ $4.5B to $10B.
  • In its raw form, TrumpScript is not compatible with Windows, because Trump isn’t the type of guy to believe in PC.
  • The language is completely case insensitive.

To which I would add:

  • Has localization where text can change based on location such as Iowa. This feature is found in all standards politican-based languages.
  • TrumpScript does have inheritance, since your business logic needs an eight figure inheritance to start off just like Donald.
  • Also includes interfaces, but it is pronounced “In your faces”.
  • All items are objects since TrumpScript has no class.
  • In addition to Windows, TrumpScript also can not be compiled on Macs until Apple ‘start building their damn computers and things’ in the US.
  • TrumpScript is built for security. It’s sandboxing is a walled-garden and he is making the Mexicans pay for it.
  • While TrumpScript only uses integers this is despite them being rational numbers. Just that he is ratioally insensitive.
  • There is no decrementing such as — since TrumpScript makes everything great again and there is alway incremental progress.
  • All comments must be written in caps and exclamation marks are required at the end of all comments.
  • Compiler warnings are phrased in terms of insults regarding how crappy of a programmer you are.
  • You should use interfaces, properties, methods, and events in a programming model since Trump married three models.
  • TrumpScript is totally object-oriented and women are always objectified.
  • The language is especially suite for generating comments on blogs and other web sites.
  • Best practices for TrumpScript encourages lots and lots of properties and the acquisition thereof, which must be named starting with Trump.

  2 Responses to “Making programming great again”

  1. Integer variables can be declared as Big, Great and YUGE.

  2. Surely it must support irrational numbers…
    There is no input, only a poll statement
    Claims to be well supported
    Will not run on Linux either, since that was made up by some foreigner

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