Via Musings of an Expagan comes this "not a parody" alert.
This Sunday church service will take five minutes and you don’t even have to get out of the car.
The Metropolitan Church of the Quad Cities, 3019 N. Harrison St., Davenport, is sponsoring “Drive-Thru Church” from 10 a.m. to noon Sunday.
Just pull up in our parking lot,” the Rev. Rich Hendricks suggests.
He promises some humor in the offerings. Congregants, for example, will be dressed like anglers in tune with a fish theme.
This is a way to try and reach out to people who might not otherwise approach the doors of the church,” he said. “Some people don’t relate to traditional church services at all.”
The Harrison Street location prompted Metropolitan Church to choose Memorial Day weekend for the event, said Loretta Gamble of Davenport.
People will be busy doing any number of activities but we want to allow folks to have a moment or two, if that’s what they can spare, to think about worship,” she said.
Clowns stationed on Harrison Street will attract cars to the church parking lot located on West 31st Street. Drivers will be greeted by a team of three “anglers” and supplied with the daily scripture and a take-home homily. Prayer requests will be honored.
Everyone will be given communion, but this will be specially delivered in a tackle box, the minister said, in a clean bait cup.
A station will be set up for an informal church choir, and those interested may exit their vehicles and sing. Participants also will take home a special gift in the form of brightly-colored fish key chains or other accoutrements.
No cost is involved but a free-will offering will be collected with part of the proceeds going to AIDS Project Quad Cities.
While a drive-thru service is unusual for this area, Hendricks said his church is not the first in the world to do one. Congregations on both coasts have established drive-thru services and received national attention for it. The non-denominational World of Faith Family Worship Center in Suffolk, Va., relocated to a former bank building in 2001 and began the practice, according to Jet magazine.
The Los Angeles Times reported in 2003 that the Main Place Christian Fellowship, a Southern Baptist congregation south of Los Angeles, established a drive-thru facility in a former photo kiosk across the street from the main church. It was especially valued by unattached Christians, the newspaper said.
Gamble believes the drive-thru event is a creative way to disperse information about the congregation she’s belonged to for more than 10 years.
In our church, we believe that God created each and every one of us as good, and we celebrate that,” she said. [Source]
Make sure you also read John’s comments on the story.
Just the though of a drive-thru service is bad enough and to combine it with clowns to attract "customers" is just bizarre. The road to horrific liturgy is paved with good intentions. It does make me ponder about a Catholic version of this and I have previously covered one aspect of this in my Jiffy Shriven post – which coincidentally was sparked by another of John’s posts. First thing though is that Catholics would need to get their cars fitted with those hydraulic lifts used commonly by low-riders to raise and lower a car at will. By lowering and then raising the front you could simulate a genuflection. Mabye rewire the windshield wipers to wipe in the movement of the sign of the cross. I would think that saying Amen instead of honking would still be appropriate. Would they have an "Eternal Happiness Meal" for those kids not old enough to receive Communion or a simple blessing? I kind of like the idea of something like a St. Francis action figure being included with it or a St. Dominic action figure with reinforced knees for doing theology on. Or possibly a St. Catherine of Sienna action figure with removable head for veneration*. After receiving Communion would the priest ask "Do you want grace with that?" Would a more traditional drive-in Mass require a setup like a 1950’s hamburger drive-ins where cars would park on a communion parking rail and the priest would rollerskate to each car bringing Communion? Besides since speakers at drive thru are so bad you would never know if it was in Latin or the vernacular so that would remove one contentious problem. Of course many Catholics are already selecting their theology like off a menu as it is now so for them it would not be too much to adapt to. So for cafeteria Catholics for ease you could have special Combos for common pairings "I’ll have the #1 Social Justice special. That does come without condemnation of abortion – right?" It would be nice to be able to supersize grace.
*Lauren of Cnytr in an email exchange once suggested something along that line to me before.
Again with the clowns!
St. Ronald of McDonald, pray for us. (hold the onions)
If all a person can spare God is “a moment or two” on Sunday (or any day) then their priorities are sorely out of whack. As a busy mother of 8 I know how tough it is to get the family together for Mass on Sunday, but it’s the best thing (for lack of a better word) we’ll do all week. Mass is, of course, the highest form of worship and the best prayer we can give God.
Actually, when I was growing up in a suburb of Buffalo in the early 60’s, we joined a new parish that actually HAD Sunday Mass in a drive-in theater!! The parish had no building yet, and we parked our car, put the speaker in the window, and Mass was said at a portable Altar in front of the screen. Mom and Dad had to leave the car for Holy Communion (pre-Vatican II), but the “ushers” went from car to car for the collection!
This lasted for a couple months until the parish Church was built. We, however, joined an existing parish (that already had a Church and school) a little farther away.
Yet another proof that clowns are evil and should never be mixed in any type of liturgy. Notice how every time there is some kind of liturgical abuse, there is always a clown involved… albeit sometimes the clowns do not wear makeup, but they do keep the same mindset that they should ‘entertain’ the congregation, lest they get bored, or Heaven forbid, actually worship God in a *serious* manner.
What’s next, clowns hearing confessions at the local fair, under a circus tent with a cross with a smiling Jesus? Sheesh…
This, of course, reiterates Jesus’ teaching that we should all enter by the wide gate where many of us will easily find it, as we lay down our cross outside of our cars to follow him, preferably one car length behind for every ten mph. Jesus could not possibly come to save sinners for as we know, we are all good and all saved. No one gets left out of heaven.
For those homebound persons–you know the ones waiting for the game on Sunday, is there delivery available?
Do they deliver grace at home. How much does one tip for a grace delivery?
There are also indications that madness has struck some of us Catholics. Our associate pastor played wind soundtracks after the Gospel on Pentecost. Last Sunday, he held up a computer mother board to illustrate where in our brains the section for music is located. He just may be the next pastor–a Passionist!
I’m with Teresa….she said it all for me….Lord have McMercy on us….
Will there be a collection??
When Fr. Nolan was making plans for the new Church and school for Saint George in Long Lake MN (later built in 1963), my father suggested to him, “Why not add on a drive thru confessional? You could call it ‘The Toot an’ Tell'”. It was never done, though.
“Remember, keep your hands on the wheel and recieve on the tounge.”
If you don’t want to gear up an assembly line for custom Eternal Happiness Meals toys, you could probably pick up something at Archie McPhee. I know they have the Pope Innocent III with Removable Fancy Pope Hat in stock.
I was going to write more, but heck, this is worth a blogging of its own. They have so much nun stuff I couldn’t possibly fit it all in a comment.
Ya know, I live in Moline, Illinois – just across the river from Davenport. First off, I never heard about this in the local news, but it doesn’t surprise me. The Davenport group is a very strange lot of Iowaweegins to begin with. Then, considering this is definately a gay, liberal, make me feel good about my self church with no moarings in morals or Tradition or even Truth, this circus doesn’t surprise me at all. Frankly, I wish I’d known about it ahead of time. I would have liken to watched from a distance. A safe distance.
I like that I’ve learned the word “Iowaeegins” from Me. This is a much, much more fun title than Iowans. Or is it, Iowaans?