I was out getting my oil changed today and as I was waiting they would call other people in the waiting room and then show them something wrong with their car that invariably needed to be fixed now. I then wondered what would happen if the medical industry took on the oil change business ethic.
Mr. Jones goes to see his doctor for his annual physical. After being poked and prodded and X-rayed.
Doctor: Mr. Jones can you come here for a moment, I have something to show you. You see this build up and wear and tear around your heart. I think it is time to replace it.
Jones: I don’t know, couldn’t I just do it myself?
Doctor: Well you could but our service comes with a warranty.
Jones: Oh well, go ahead and replace it.
Doctor: Fine, now we come to your liver. Are you a hard drinker by any chance because there is accumulation of fatty deposits in the liver cells. If you would have signed up with our 50,000 mile checkup program we might have kept it from going this far. I would have that replaced with a manufacturer suggested liver to prevent cirrhosis.
Jones: Oh well, I might get it all done at once.
Doctor: Good, good. Now I don’t want to worry you. But how long have you been going along with this body without doing maintenance on your circulatory and arterial system? Looking at the amount of clogage in your arteries I would think that you have probably been experiencing rough idling and conking out when trying to accelerate.
Jones: Well I have been feeling a little sluggish and there has been a noise that is hard to described.
Doctor: Just what I thought. I tell you what I will do, I will give you a break on the price of all of this if you get it all done today with our Mr. Goodscalpel guaranteed service and we will have you out in 20 minutes.
… 20 minutes later.
Jones: What’s that red sticker you have placed on my head?
Doctor: Just to remind you to come in next year or 50,000 heartbeats; whichever comes first. And if you come in within the specified time you get 5,000 dollars off your next surgery.