There are some things in this universe that are just not possible in that they go against some fundamental law. There are plenty of universal constants and I think I have discovered another one. The shampoo/conditioner quotient. Basically this law would be stated as:
“The shampoo/conditioner quotient will never obtains unity”
No doubt you are wondering if I had finally flipped my lid and possibly this is so. But after years of experimental science I think my hypothesis and statement of this law holds out. Try as you might you will never finish your bottle of shampoo at the same time as the bottle of conditioner. Regardless of how uniform your dabs are when you finish the shampoo there will no doubt still be conditioner left in the bottle. Even if you start both bottles on the same day this will happen. Though usually the shampoos runs out and you still have conditioner left and so you buy another bottle of shampoo and conditioner. Now possibly there are those that run out of conditioner before the shampoo, but I have no evidence to support this. I do believe that the last bit of conditioner in a bottle is actually some filler substance since the manufacturer knows you will toss that bottle when you get your new shampoo conditioner matched pair.
Now some try to go against this universal law by using Pert or some other 2 in 1 shampoo/conditioner. Well the universe is not mocked and thus some other item you have will be used up at an unequal rate. Sort of like the conservation of energy. Now this is not like the pack of hotdogs/buns where they purposely created an unequal ratio since shampoo and conditioner usually come in the same size bottle with supposedly equal ounces. Maybe this is related to another universal quotient which can be stated.
“Number of socks entering the washer ≠ number of socks pulled out of dryer”
Dark matter was postulated to account for evidence of “missing mass” in the universe. I propose that this missing matter is actually made up entirely of socks.
Oh well off to the store to buy a bottle of shampoo and conditioner while the leftover conditioner silently mocks me.
Oh, I always run out of conditioner first … it’s the long hair.
And in with the socks that make up dark matter is surely all the stuff my children have misplaced. Like their worn-three-times swim shirts we bought before swim season that mysteriously disappeared. And the puck case for my 11 yo’s iPod Shuffle.
Very funny. Very funny…just like Hawkins.
Yes, I was going to say, that for a while we needed two bottles of conditioner for every one bottle of shampoo, when one of my daughters had very long hair. I could never convince my husband of this and we had many extra bottles of shampoo around .
Conservation of mass… I bet the remaining amount in my old shampoo bottle is equivalent to the amount in your conditioner bottle! I have several different sets of matching shampoos and conditioners as I rotate using them re a skin problem. I’ve got several shampoo/conditioners, even one 3 in one (!), and a spare conditioner bottle for medicated shampoos that are otherwise bereft of conditioner companions… Pity I’m nevertheless almost bald!
I go through conditioner WAY faster than shampoo! But then, I only shampoo my scalp, and I put conditioner on the length of my hair, all four feet of it! (yeah, long hair will TOTALLY screw up that quotient)
I think I can offer experimental evidence for your postulation that there may be a mirror image ratio to your shampoo versus conditioner proportion experience. The ladies of the house require a ratio of 3 conditioner to 1 shampoo. Thus I find my load on resupply runs to normally be 2 shampoo versus 6 conditioner. Thank the Lord and whichever saint is in charge of schlepping that I’m equipped with heavy duty springs and shocks in my knees. As the song goes, “Let a woman it your life…”
Funny, I was thinking about this a few weeks ago when my conditioner ran out before my shampoo. Because it’s so much thicker and more viscous, I inevitably end up squeezing out more than I want.
I’ve never used conditioner on my hair except by accident. For those of us with oily hair, conditioner is just the universe mocking us more than usual. I did have a conditioner-like substance for a while, with Head and Shoulders’ camellia oil version. (I think really it was for Oriental hair, but it worked fine for me.) But it’s disappeared from the stores around here, and I’m back to plain shampoo.
Gotta get some clarifying shampoo, though. That stuff smells nasty, but when you need it you need it. (And with all the junk they put in shampoo, you need it — and I’m out of it.) It takes three years or so to get through a bottle, so I really shouldn’t be dragging my feet about the extra expense. (But I’m cheap, so I do.)
Um… point… Oh, yeah. You can’t get packs of red gel pens like you can get blue or black packs. So annoying, because in my job you go through a lot of red pens. Maybe I need to find a teacher supply store, ’cause teachers use a lot of red ink also.
I know what to do with your extra conditioner. I use conditioner when I shave. It is by far better than any shaving cream or gel (I bet it is cheaper too). Razors last longer too.
quotient written in engrish too no doubt
I always run out of conditioner first. But i don’t have any problem buying a bottle on its own. I don’t like the idea of wasting perfect good conditioner/shampoo. At some point, it will come around, that they do empty at the same time, after about 5 cycles of buying them seperately.
I always wished that manufacturers would purposely make their conditioner bottles bigger. I had no idea that other people were having the opposite problem.
I think that the socks, lego and lincoln logs form a proton-heavy mass in an alternate universe that attracts the Nutrongina conditioner in such a way that it “leaks” through the continuum in barely perceptible amounts.
>>“The shampoo/conditioner quotient will never obtains unity”
No doubt you are wondering if I had finally flipped my lid and possibly this is so. <<
Relax! You have not flipped your lid cause I've been thinking the very same lately! 🙂
As a matter of fact, I've been thinking "IT" for a few months now and I put "IT" on the side burner because three of our grand sons who only lived a few minutes away were coming for showers so I just figured that I would stop thinking about "IT".
Anyway now that they've moved out of our city, I must finally agree that your, I mean our assumption were and still are complety right on "Man"! 🙂
My issue is I’m always buying them separately. One is nearly always full while the other is near empty.