Yesterday Cardinal Renato Martino’s Pontifical Council for Migrants issued a “Guidelines for the Pastoral Care of the Road,” aka The Ten Commandments of Driving. Today the newly created Pontifical Council for Transportation jointly with Car-itas has issued a new document Driving the Gospels Home.
The following are some of the highlights of the new document.
- If you are carjacked one mile, go with him two.
- If yor are hit, turn the other signal.
- Do not let your air bag become puffed up like the Pharisees
- Let not the sun go down on you road rage
- Carry your cross daily, or at least have one hanging from your rear view mirror.
- When you enter a freeway that is backed up, go and move to the lowest place and not try to merge into the front. For every one who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.
- Do not talk about your Honda so that it can be said of you "That he did not say it of his own Accord."
- Hydroplaning is not the same thing as walking on water, avoid it.
- Before Jesus peformed the miracle at Cana, he appointed a designated driver.
- Do not say "Are we there yet", but rather "It is good to be here."
In other news Sammy Hagar has been excommunicated for not being able to drive 55.
We can look forward to new documents in the future from the Pontifical Council for Transportation. Another document called "Sacrificial suffering and airline food" is rumored to be in the works.
Update: Dawn Eden has some suggestions for the title of the document.
KaleJ at un-Muted Mumblings adds some of his own.
Carolina Cannonball at The Crescat also reacts to the driving ten commandments.
Obviously this priest who plowed into a restaurant didn’t get the new documents.
Plus I remembered my old post on Mary’s Fiat