June 20, 2007
Pontifical Council for Transportation
Yesterday Cardinal Renato Martino's Pontifical Council for Migrants issued a “Guidelines for the Pastoral Care of the Road,” aka The Ten Commandments of Driving. Today the newly created Pontifical Council for Transportation jointly with Car-itas has issued a new document Driving the Gospels Home.
The following are some of the highlights of the new document.
- If you are carjacked one mile, go with him two.
- If yor are hit, turn the other signal.
- Do not let your air bag become puffed up like the Pharisees
- Let not the sun go down on you road rage
- Carry your cross daily, or at least have one hanging from your rear view mirror.
- When you enter a freeway that is backed up, go and move to the lowest place and not try to merge into the front. For every one who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.
- Do not talk about your Honda so that it can be said of you "That he did not say it of his own Accord."
- Hydroplaning is not the same thing as walking on water, avoid it.
- Before Jesus peformed the miracle at Cana, he appointed a designated driver.
- Do not say "Are we there yet", but rather "It is good to be here."
In other news Sammy Hagar has been excommunicated for not being able to drive 55.
We can look forward to new documents in the future from the Pontifical Council for Transportation. Another document called "Sacrificial suffering and airline food" is rumored to be in the works.
Update: Dawn Eden has some suggestions for the title of the document.
KaleJ at un-Muted Mumblings adds some of his own.
Carolina Cannonball at The Crescat also reacts to the driving ten commandments.
Obviously this priest who plowed into a restaurant didn't get the new documents.
Plus I remembered my old post on Mary's Fiat
I just don't know what I'd do without Cardinal Martino and his department.
Posted by BillyHW email at June 20, 2007 10:43 AMI foresee a possible document on "Weather conditions for seafaring fishermen." I also added a few to your list.
Posted by kalej email at June 20, 2007 11:28 AMRemember to think of the most exalted car before driving, Mary's Fiat. And 4x4's must not be too high, follow the way of the low rider- Luke 1:52 "He hath put down the mighty from their seat; and hath exalted the lowly."
Posted by Michael II email at June 20, 2007 11:40 AMEven atheists would get a smile from these. Incidentally, I've seen the Flying Rosary with the caption, How To Tell You're Driving Too Fast.
Posted by Panda Rosa email at June 20, 2007 11:41 AMI'm not going to jump on the bash the Cardinal bandwagon. I honestly think that this is a legitimate document trying to remind us that charity doesn't end when we buckle our seatbelts.
As someone who struggles with my emotions when I drive, I agree with this.
Posted by keith email at June 20, 2007 11:47 AMI just knew you would have an appropriate elucidation!
Posted by Ellyn email at June 20, 2007 12:31 PMIts dissapointing that people are nearly universally jumping on this as some sort of joke. Certainly it is cute and amusing, but it is also a very legitimate document. I can say this as a person who has read the document, which is available at http://212.77.1.245/news_services/bulletin/news/20451.php?index=20451&lang=en if you are interested.
No doubt, some of the excerpts one might find in it are amusing, but they are still meaningful. And in fact, the teaching contained therein is not simply the creation of the pontifical council, but is filled with citations of previous teaching, from Pope John Paul II to Pius XII and even the Second Vatican Council.
One of the points that the document stresses several times is that people tend to, unfortunately, look at driving and road safety as unimportant or trivial, which I think is evidenced by the genereal reaction to the present document.
Sure, its funny in many ways, but its also important. Sometimes a thing can be both. If anything we ought to rejoice that there are social teachings which still can have a lighthearted side to them in this age of typically... darker problems.
Posted by Shane email at June 20, 2007 01:04 PMomgosh i just choked on my lunch - LOL!!!
Posted by Jeron email at June 20, 2007 02:24 PMThere is but one thing the righteous man despises more than a tailgater and that is a slow driver in front of him.
Posted by Rick Lugari email at June 20, 2007 02:34 PM"The Undertaker always gets the Overtaker"
Not mine unfortunately! heard it in school years ago!
Posted by Padraic email at June 20, 2007 03:34 PM
You forgot my favorite one
"And of the Hummer that cut you off, you must forgive him 4x4 times."
Posted by Brendan email at June 20, 2007 09:25 PMObviously inspired after that unfortunate incident with the Popemobile and the flower beds, eh?
Posted by Eileen R email at June 20, 2007 10:12 PMImage is too irreverent for me. Sorry.
Posted by Zorak the Mantis email at June 20, 2007 10:17 PMShane, you may be correct in this, auto accidents are not funny, but humor is one way to keep the Righteous Way to mind, and to stay on said Way. When the ways be choked with wrath, esp the Rage of Roads, a light heart maketh the journey passeth more quickly and with less incident.
Honk if you love Jesus!
I loved your words, Jeff, but PLEASE remove the image! It's very poor. I hate it!
Posted by Betty email at June 22, 2007 02:16 PMI like the image. It's cute and witty. Somehow I don't think Our Blessed Mother is too upset about it. I can actually picture this email:
From: The Blessed Virgin Mary O.C.D.Posted by Rick Lugari email at June 22, 2007 03:01 PMTo: St. Theresa of Avila
Subject: LOL
I thought you'd get a kick out of the clever thing that Curt Jester character came up with this time.
http://www.splendoroftruth.com/curtjester/archives/008129.php
Sorry about just pasting the url, dear child. I still haven't been able to figure out how to make one of those underlined link thingies.
Love,
Your Mother
Came here from Father Z's blog... PRICELESS! Thanks for posting :D
Posted by Jennifer email at June 23, 2007 01:49 AM
