Parody L-Mart by Jeffrey Miller February 25, 2007February 22, 2010 written by Jeffrey Miller February 25, 2007February 22, 2010 The L-Mart parody has been broken out into its own page and can be found here. 18 comments 0 FacebookTwitterGoogle +Pinterest Jeffrey Miller previous post Reconcilliation Guide next post 40? You may also like Just one more July 5, 2004 EEOC vacates slate of Democratic Presidential candidates September 18, 2003 We are Church promotes vocations October 4, 2005 Find Jesus December 23, 2006 WikiLeaks latest document dump exposes Secret Santas November 30, 2011 Moloch's return October 21, 2007 Foot Washing 2000 April 11, 2004 Historic vote in The House of Commons February 7, 2013 Swiss Guard a sign of inequality May 8, 2007 Before “Catholic Baby Einstein” October 4, 2012 18 comments Fr. Seraphim Beshoner, TOR February 25, 2007 - 10:30 pm “Shop smart, shop L-mart!” Reply D. G. D. Davidson February 25, 2007 - 11:31 pm This is a great one. I love my religious trinkets, and now I see I definitely need L-Mart products! Reply patrick February 26, 2007 - 2:03 am Another gem from the Curt Jester. This one ranks up there with Rome Depot or Avazon. 😀 Reply Scott W February 26, 2007 - 10:05 am This year the fonts still have holy water hallelujah! It’s funny because the priest during Lent would preach about how the Devil steps up his attacks during this time. And yet for some reasom in the past the laity were forced into a sacramental fast. Reply Phoebe February 26, 2007 - 10:20 am Where can I order the inward binoculars? This is what I’ve been needing for years! Great parody — except it makes me wish it were true. . Reply Amy February 26, 2007 - 10:30 am I’ll take one font and one set of binoculars. Just this past Friday, my husband was chuckling at me for smuggling a bottle of holy water into Mass. We all blessed ourselves in the pew. Reply Pavegs February 26, 2007 - 11:11 am Wow, how useful would this stuff be? My parish removed the Holy water from the fonts, removed the statues (all three of them – in addition to that Tabernacle locater i think we need one for statues too), stripped the altar (completely), and put up a hideous banner (not felt but that horrible almost see-through stuff) and a random sapling in the sanctuary. I can’t make this stuff up people. Reply Marty Helgesen February 26, 2007 - 2:25 pm Now my parish has holy water in the fonts, but some years ago when it didn’t I used a prescription pill bottle with a twist-off cap to carry holy water. It was small, watertight, and easy to use. Speaking of holy water, some years ago I was at a Defending the Faith Conference at Franciscan University of Steubenville. The last talk was Sunday morning before Mass. Kimberly Hahn was the speaker. I think her topic was either Baptism or the sacraments in general. At one point she asked, rhetorically, “Why does the Church use holy water? Why does she put those things at the doors of churches?” The answer that immediately came to mind, although, of course, I didn’t shout it out, was that the Church puts those things with holy water at the doors of churchers because she stoups to conquer. Reply Dean Soto February 26, 2007 - 4:14 pm Oh my gosh, that’s the funniest thing I’ve ever seen lol!! I’d like to order the Inward Binoculars too. I’m doing the Ignatian Exercises for Lent and they’d get me through weeks 2 and 3 no problem. LOL! Reply Joy February 26, 2007 - 7:12 pm My son was reading over my shoulder as I was giggling about the snack patch, and he asked, “Does it work?” At 6’2, this 13 year old does not like the idea of fasting at all! Reply Fr. Daren Zehnle February 26, 2007 - 10:02 pm Awesome! Thanks! Reply Panda Rosa February 26, 2007 - 11:27 pm All this makes me smile; running out of excuses not to swim the Tiber. Wish there was an L-mart here in Savannah! Reply Paul February 27, 2007 - 9:47 pm Is your Hare Shirt still available to those that have not worked up to the Sack Cloth? I love mine. Though I did where it around a Baptist friend that has a last name of Hare. He did not get it 🙂 Reply Nick February 28, 2007 - 2:53 pm How about a Tabernacle Detector? ~nb Reply Rex Kochanski February 28, 2007 - 4:16 pm Too funny… especially since I had resolved not to do ANY blogreading in Lent. Mea culpa…. Perhaps I am rationalizing, but there may be a mitigating or even justifying circumstance, in that I decided to visit your blog in hopes of cheering my neighbor – with the following suggestion to the Jester for TOMORROW’s blog: _______________________________________________ ESTHER-C “You need Esther C!!! You may say, ‘It’s Greek to me’, but Esther-C provides you with a Catholicium supplement if you are suffering from hypocanonical sindrome (known to afflict many separated brothers). Without Esther C, you might know THAT Esther (the ultimate “Jewish Princess”) WAS praying and fasting, but you don’t know WHAT she said!! In fact, if your living water is not deuterated properly, your Book of Esther won’t mention God AT ALL!!! Esther-C has been found to act in synergy with vitamin B-16! It is one of the few nutritional supplements approved by the FDA*. *FDA = Faith Development Association Testimonials: “This is just the kind of thing I needed to develop some character. Deuteration is my dream!” – Mordecai, Keeper of the Great King’s Keys “We do not approve of the language used, (because Our favorite game is NOT ‘Thermopolyae’), but We irrevocably decree that Deuterated Esther is just the thing to make Our day…and as for Our night, well, let Us just say, ‘It’s good to be the king!'” – Ahasuerus, or Xerxes, Great King of Persia. *(Faith Development Association) ________________________________________ Something like that, anyway. Perhaps you can refine it? Time is of the essence, as the Mass Reading from Esther C is tomorrow!!! Reply PBXVI March 4, 2007 - 2:29 am I need the Ash Wednesday stencil—- why do I ALWAYS get smudged? Reply Podcastin' Catholic March 6, 2007 - 3:29 pm Just discovered your blog – priceless! Besides being glad for your eternal soul that you found the Catholic faith, I’m happy for the laughs for the rest of us. Thanks! Reply BESTRATEINC March 20, 2007 - 5:52 am You can use a car or boat title as the substitute collateral Reply Leave a Comment Cancel Reply Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.