Humor Day 1 in Hell by Jeffrey Miller July 24, 2006 written by Jeffrey Miller July 24, 2006 During Hell Indoctrination, Satan once again has to explain why it is so hot in Hell. "It’s not the heat, it’s the humility – or really lack thereof." * Image compiled via free clipart at artvex.com. 5 comments 0 FacebookTwitterGoogle +Pinterest Jeffrey Miller previous post Four years next post When being POD is scary You may also like New St. Blog's Drinking Game March 31, 2003 Liturgical confusion November 24, 2002 Poker Playing Jesus October 5, 2005 Software Consistory February 23, 2006 The 1050 Commandments March 3, 2006 The Real Meaning of Advent November 30, 2010 New Christian Zine for Teenage Boys September 19, 2003 Spiritual Thermometer August 15, 2005 Adoration, Contrition, Thanksgiving, Supplication and Biceps November 14, 2004 Headline News December 29, 2007 5 comments shana sfo July 24, 2006 - 1:58 pm Hell Indoctrination begins with a “listening session”, so that satan can become aware of what the ordinary damned are expecting from their new place of residence. Each new resident is given crayons and paper and asked to draw their feelings about damnation. Afterward, everyone explains their drawings with gentle assurances that there are ‘no wrong answers’. From the ‘listening sessions’, the committee will come the conclusion that every damned soul there expects to be ordained, given prominent roles in the governance of hell, and also desires sexual activity on demand, without interference or judgement. A committee is suggested to go straight to the bottom to force the issue with the big guys below. Hell? No, this is what actually happened in my own diocese a number of years ago… Reply St. Jimbob of the Apokalypse July 24, 2006 - 2:07 pm Hey, Jeff should start a new line of Flannel-graphs depicting Hell. Different backgrounds, varying punishments (à la Dante’s Inferno), and lot’s of scratch-and-sniff sulphur stickers. Reply The Dumb OX July 24, 2006 - 5:07 pm The Diocesan office workers were impressed with the guest speaker’s grasp of the faith and what it really meant to be Catholic… Reply Meg Q July 24, 2006 - 5:18 pm Y’know, frankly, that is what a “centering prayer” group always looks like in my imagination . . . Reply CaesarMagnus July 24, 2006 - 5:38 pm lolz @ Meg Q. Whew, no bishops in hell. Reply Leave a Comment Cancel Reply Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.