Fed up with the Intifada? Need to duck out of Fallujah
Each room comes standard with a copy of the Koran and "The Protocols
Cable television with a 133 channels of Al Jazeer. Must see Jihad TV.
Mini-Bomb Bar with all the components required for making bombs.
Inspiration portraits of Bin Laden, Yasser Arafat, and other great leaders
Donald Rumsfeld dart board.
Steel reinforced bathrooms for those unfortunate accidents when mixing
Some of our special services include:
Local directory of Al-Qaeda sleeper cells.
Five times daily as-salah is announced on the Public Address system.
Prayer rugs dry cleaned and returned in a timely fashion (loaners available).
Modern Media Center:
The latest in modern technology for all your special needs.
Beheading video web-cast center.
Complimentary head bags for you brave revolutionaries to hide your head
Undisclosed location backdrops for threatening video tapes.
BIn Laden voice synthesis machine to make high-quality audio tapes to
Interconnected rooms for each wife.
Windows painted black to keep your wife from concerning herself with
*Surcharge for each additional wife or apply for a group rate for four
Suicide Bomber Suite*
Before going out with a bang why not indulge yourself in one of our
Please check in any suicide belts into our hotel safe in the lobby.
*Payment required in full prior to checking into room. Cash or Credit