A reader send me a link to the following story. By now I am sure
many people have seen the story
about the "Good as New" Bible translation by a former Baptist
Minister. The Archbishop of Canterbury Dr Rowan Williams is reportedly backing
and has said it is a "vehicle for thinking."
This version is pretty funny and I would have a hard time coming up with a
better parody then was achieved. The St. Paul quotes are strait from Bizarro
"If you know you have strong needs, get yourself a partner. Better than being
"There’s nothing wrong with remaining single,
like me. But if you know you have strong needs, get yourself a partner. Better
than being frustrated,"
This version is so bad he could probably submit a resume to
ICEL and be accepted.
In the past they were some unfortunate printer errors in the
printing of Bibles. One of the most famous is the so-called “Adultery
1641 where the
printer left out the word not from Exodus 20:14. He was fined 300 pounds.
Nowadays he would probably be given a 300 pound bonus.
In 1702 a Bible was printed where Psalm 119:161 which read “Printers have
persecuted me without cause.” (that should have been “princes”.)
I think that Jeff
Culbreath might have an opposite take on
I think the funniest modern translation is that of Psalm 23 in
the New American Bible, which is owned by the United States Conference of Catholic
A psalm of David. 2 The LORD is my shepherd; there is nothing
In green pastures you let me graze; to safe waters you lead me;
I have humorously heard this referred to as the "Cow Translation"
Can you imagine King David grazing in the pasture? I guess he had been living
too long among sheep and had developed bad eating habits. No wonder he wasn’t at the dinner table when the prophet Samuel came to anoint him.
The good archbishop is actually right. This translation IS a “vehicle for thinking.”
I won’t say about what.
But it IS a vehicle for thinking.
Thank you God for JP II.
LOL at the “Cow Translation.”
Peter’s name in this translation is “Rocky”…I guess that settles the question for those fundamentalists who don’t think Peter is the Rock.
Does that mean St. Peter will be a flying squirrel in the next edition of this “good as new” revision?
Wait a minute: isn’t this the same Archbishop of Canterbury whose ring was kissed by the Pope? I bet this version will be a best seller at your local USCCB and ICEL bookstore.
I will take a stab at this one ….
“And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it. I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.”
might be translated as
“Yo, I tell you that you are Rocky, man. I will build my central activism center at your crib called “Rock Central”. Watch me pull some keys out of my hat. I will give them to you bro. The Fox Network will not overcome us and reveal the secrets of that magic trick. These keys will let you into the central activism center. They keys will also allow you to bind pamphlets in the central activism center via a sophisticated remote control system from local activism centers.”
Don’t forget the “sin on” bible where due to the inadvertent transposition of two important letters Jesus tells the woman caught in adultery to “go and sin on more.”
Better even than that “Bible” is the same group’s thoughtful analysis of
>Why Creeds Have To Go.
The address being http://one.gn.apc.org/Creed.htm#Top.
Raymond – You might like this translation, actually…I’m willing to bet that nowhere in it does Jesus eat with sinners…