Mad Cowl Disease

(Roto Reuters) Increasing the FDA (Franciscan and Dominican Association) has been facing pressure to implement new safeguards against Mad Cowl decease. Since the first reported case in the US at a Monastery in Washington State their has been an increasing outcry to defend our nation’s stock of habits for monks. Currently the nations supply of religious garb is being tested to ascertain the extent of this problem. Two warehouses of ecclesial suppliers have been quarantined as the result of the current scare.

Mad Cowl decease is thought to occur from proteins used in the production of habits for monks. These mutant proteins, known as priors which cause Mad Cowl Decease do not accumulate in the lower part of the monk’s habit but concentrate only in the habit’s cowl. Since the cowl is worn frequently this contact of the cowl’s material to the monk’s head through skin absorption is believed to cause the monk to subsequently go mad. The technical name for this is CJD (Clergy-Jesuit Disease).

These are some of the warning signs:

This group of nuns who work for the FDA are shown after having to put down some diseased cowls.

A spokesman for the industries cowlman association downplays the scare and says that there are already currently sufficient safeguards to prevent diseased cowls from making it to the general monastery population. He also said that the threat is “virtually zero”. A number of nations have banned U.S. cowl imports since the case was announced, including Japan, South Korea, Australia, Taiwan, Singapore, Malaysia, Russia, Mexico and China.