WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. – Perhaps you think you’ve seen everything. Alas, no. Apparently the new trend is people marrying … themselves!
We wrote jokingly a few weeks ago that Canada was being narrow-minded for limiting marriage to two people. Unfair to bigamists, doncha know. Also unfair, it turns out, to those who really, really, really like themselves.
The local Palm Beach Post, in a lengthy article dominating the front of the features section, gushes that one Jeannie Macaluso is marrying herself.
She has a wedding gown, bridesmaids, 50 guests, two showers and all the trappings except a groom. The only other thing missing is her father; she’s tearful that he’ll have nothing to do with her “wedding.”
It does simplify things. No need to worry about if you are going to take your spouses last name. You already know all your bad habits unless you were fooling yourself when dating yourself. You always know when your spouse is lying. You can only cheat on yourself if you develop a multiple personality disorder. Of course since you were cohabitating or living in sin with yourself before marriage your chance of a loving relationship with yourself diminishes; you will have a tendency to take yourself for granted. Of course when you grow tired and disillusioned of yourself you might have a hard time pleading irreconcilable differences when you want to divorce yourself.