Not only is Harvard Law considering a ban on ‘offensive
speech’ but it is offering freshmen (that’s “first-year students,” to them) a
new course: How to be Politically Correct.
The course purports to help the young people “manage
difficult conversations” and learn how to speak with sensitivity on touchy
issues such as race and gender.
I can just imagine all the other possible
politically correct courses they will offer at Harvard.
Feeling your pain
101: Learn how to tell others with a strait face that you understand their
situation while at the same time thinking about fulfilling your hedonistic
Playing the race card: Johnny Cochran explains how to get out of
any normally impossible situation by playing the race card. Learn how to go
through speeches and voting records to find occasions when an opponent made a
decision contrary to the wishes of a person of color. Special guest-instructor
Harry Belafonte also teaches you how to deal with situations when your opponent
is a person of color. Expand your vocabulary with Uncle Tom, house slave, race
traitor and a 101 other Ad Hominem attacks.
Comparative Morality: Learn
how to deal with situations where you are caught in an action still considered
wrong by some. This course comes with a text book that references and cross
references every sin committed by Republicans dead or alive. When faced with an
accusation you will deftly be able to cite the name of a Republican who either
did the same thing or somehow came close.
Winning life’s lottery: Learn how anyone who is richer than you could not
have possibly achieved it through determination and hard work. Easily shrug off
anybody’s accomplishments by saying “They just won life’s lottery”.
Classic Classism: This is a thorough course in political classism. Gain
constituents by attacking the rich, be able to make glib statements about fat
cats even though you have 200 million in the bank. If your opponent makes any
statement about reducing taxes just say “top one percent” over and over until
they give up. Learn that the word corporation must always be preceded with the
words greedy, despoiling, polluting, multinational
PC History: Learn all
about the history of civilizations minus dead white male Europeans.
Construing the Constitution: Envision a doctrine and see how it is
actually in in this living document. See all the ideas that are there without
the original writers even knowing about it. Perceive abortion and separation of
church and state and other modern dogmas as a right of privacy. Learn all about
everything but the fictional second amendment. Note: This course has a reduced
fee since no actual textbooks or a copy of the Constitution is
Uncritical thinking: Trust in your heart and everything passed
onto you by the professors. Learn the dangers of reality, facts, and anything
else that doesn’t agree with your preconceptions.
Cultural Elitism: Instructions on applying your brilliant mind to help all
the little people in the world. Learn how to grab control of political processes
for their own good. The ends justify the means, so effectively make everybody
bow down to you wishes since it will be better for them in the end. Learn how to
ignore the cries of the people you are helping by telling them it takes a
village and that you are the head of the village. Senator Hillary Clinton will
also offer a one day workshop on how to reform the medical industry with a
committee of 150 lawyers.
Environmental Prophesy: Techniques of scaring
the hell out of everyone with shallow discussions on global cooling, global
warming, ozone holes, car emissions,
jungle rain forest depletion, oil
spills, melting ice caps, pesticides, cancer clusters, cell phone tumors,
asbestos, and franken foods. Pick the eminent doom of your choice and start
nonprofit groups (with you as the paid head) to help save
environment. Course constructed by the world famous scientists Leonardo Dicaprio
and Sting. Note: Science 101 is not a prerequisite for this course.
Racist Grammar: Avoid all of the words that sound like racial epithets. Learn
how requiring someone to correctly enunciate a word is actually a racist agenda
designed to keep them down. Requiring emigrants to learn English destroys their
language culture and makes them able to escape the Democratic Party.