The spouse of the Ironic Catholic has a funny two-part post on “Why did the chicken cross” the road from the perspective of saints, theologians, etc.
Here is just a small sample to whet your appetite.
Augustine: Late have I crossed the road, so ancient and so new. Late have I crossed you.
Francis of Assisi: It is no use walking anywhere to preach unless our walking is our preaching. Therefore, I crossed the road.
Flannery O’Connor: The chicken was struck by a truck while crossing the road, but experienced a flash of grace in the instant of its death. I prefer peacocks anyway.
Well the sincerest form of flattery is imitation so I will try to be sincere with some flattery.
- Karl Rahner – If the chicken has made a fundamental option to cross the road then he will indeed cross the road
- G.K. Chesterton – A chicken decided to go to a foreign country and to invent his own heresies. What the chicken found instead is that in fact he had never left his country and had crossed the road and discovered that his heresies were orthodoxy.
- Therese de Lisieux – If the chicken decides to make himself small, God will lift him up and place him on the other side of the road.
- Sister Joan D. Chittister – The chicken crossed the road as a sign of prophetic road crossing to get away from the male dominated hierarchy
- Saint Benedict – The chicken crossed the road to get away from me even though I assured him I was not the Benedict assocated with eggs.
- Saint Jerome – The chicken crossed the road since some fool left the vulgate open and he escaped.
- Saint Ignatius – The chicken crossed the road out of obedience to the Holy Father. The chicken should always be disposed to believe that that crossing the road is good, if the hierarchy of the Church so decides.
- Blessed Mother Teresa – The chicken crossed the road to help the poorest of the poor chickens.
- Saint John of the Cross – The chicken crossed the road because he realized he was attached to this side of the road. The chicken that is attached to one side of the road however much good there may be in it, will not arrive at the liberty of divine union.
- Saint Anthony the Great – Obviously the chicken crossed the road to get to the desert to purge himself because he suffered from boredom, laziness, and the phantoms of hens.
- Saint Domenic – I suspect that the chicken had Albigensian sympathies since he crossed the road when he saw me coming to preach.
- Saint Anthony of Padua – I have no idea why the chicken crossed the road, but fish I have experience preaching to.
- Saint Joseph – The chicken received a dream over the night warning him to cross the road.
Update: Alive and Young has some examples from other perspectives.