The Ironic Catholic has a list of worship Faux Pas and how to avoid them. I will highlight one that I found especially funny and true.
7. Kneeling etiquette: once done, sit back S L O W L Y to avoid slamming your back into someone’s folded hands.
The rest of the list is equally funny.
Well I am always game for stealing a good idea:
- If the church actually has kneelers please slide the kneeler up when you go to Communion so others in the same row do no have to to the narrow shuffle side step.
- If you receive Communion in the hand remember that your car keys and cell phone are maybe accessories in the Body of Christ, but can’t receive themselves – put them away first.
- Asking the person who just came out of a confessional both after a long time in confession "What the heck did you do?" is not considered appropriate.
- Regardless of how banal the songs the choir is singing, it is not polite to shout out requests.
- Continuously pointing at your watch for the priest to see during the homily is considered rude.
- Do not bring the music issue of the missal home to use as toilet paper, no matter how appropriate.
- If you have a 103 degree temperature and your nose is running faster than Flo-Jo you might want to skip Mass and not try to shake the hands of half the congregation.
- If your a Protestant convert please avoid yelling out "Idolater" when a parishioner touches a statue.
- Dip your hand slowly into the Holy Water font, please don’t splash.
- "The Mass is ended, go in peace" is not meant to be the same as a starter pistol going off indicating that you need to run out of the Mass as fast as you can to avoid traffic in the parking lot.