WATERBURY, Conn. — A Waterbury woman believes that someone divine has come knocking on her door.
When she came home from church on Monday, Matilda Munoz said she found markings on her door that looked like Jesus.
She said she immediately got chills.
The door has been drawing dozens of visitors from across the city to the woman’s Wall Street home. But the Catholic Church isn’t weighing in just yet.
The church has a long process for determining if something is a true apparition, said pastor Kevin Gray of Sacred Heart, who visited Munoz Tuesday morning. [Source]
I think this is a case of confused literalism. We are suppose to adore Jesus, not that Jesus is a door. Of course Jesus did say "I am the door; if any one enters by me, he will be saved, and will go in and out and find pasture." There are also other questions. Would it be sacrilegious to knock on this door? Definitely putting a nail in it to hang up Christmas decorations would be wrong. Jesus has already had enough of nails being driven through him.
O fer krynout loud. Divine doors; nun buns; Mary cheese sandwiches; holy tortillas…. We call these things “apparitiaronies.” (For atmosphere, sing it to the tune of the old Beefaroni commercial….)