Humor

The Santa Monica City Council caving in to atheist lawsuits.  No irony here with a city named after a Catholic saint – just move along. Die dioramas. Fairness means banning everyone.   Funny how survival of the fittest leads to atheists with membrane thin skin walking around offended at expression of faith.  I was a jerk as an atheist, but did not rise to this level of jerkness.

In other “atheist’s making friends news” is the  Atheists Humanists Agnostics (AHA) program against Blessed Mother Teresa in full Christopher Hitchens mode.

We will soon hear concession speeches from the economy, the unborn and religious liberty.

— ➡️Curt Jester⬅️ (@CurtJester) November 7, 2012

I am pleased to have inspired the Ironic Catholic in actually writing a concession speech for religious liberty..

Unfortunately it is rarely the case that you pull the lever on a candidate and think wow this person is the perfect moral candidate. Unfortunately in are present system when you vote for someone there is no really good public way to mark your displeasure or that you are voting for them with reservations.

I do have a solution though for this problem. When you read message boards and some blogs you can see the use of emoticons for people to be able to mark the related emotion to what they are saying.

With the advent of so many LCD touch screens in the voting booth just how hard would it be to able to add emoticons with each of your votes? When the emoticons are tabulated politicians would see exactly what you really think of them. Right now a vote appears to them to be an 100 percent vote of approval. It would be great for their humility to get a 80 percent “yawning” and a 10 percent “grossed out’ along with other ratings.

Though the standard emoticons are really not expressive enough. I suggest a new category for voting machines – Voticons. Here are some possible Voticons.

 Holding my nose while voting for you

 You were the lesser of two devils

 After voting for you I think I am gonna spew

 I am embarrassed to have voted for you but you sucked less than the other person.

 I voted pro-life, please don’t disappoint me.

 Used for politicians where you are “split” between liking him one day and hating him the next.

 Remember this is my wallet not yours, please vote accordingly.

 I am only voting for you because ‘better the devil you know than the devil you don’t’

 I suspect that you will not rob me like a pirate as much as the other guy.

 I vote pro-life and you are less murderous than the other guy.

Now in some situations I guess you could actually use one of the normal smiley emoticons, but this seems rather theoretical to me.

And here is one last one:

 “It is terrible to contemplate how few politicians are hanged.” G.K. Chesterton

What are your ideas for Voticons?

For Holy Days of Obligation they should have a "I went to Mass" sticker like the "I Voted" sticker.

— ➡️Curt Jester⬅️ (@CurtJester) October 31, 2012

While I Tweeted this rather jokingly, it actually might be a rather cool idea to help remind other Catholics.

VATICAN CITY (Reuters) – If anyone thinks the Vatican newspaper is still a staid broadsheet that publishes only religious news and harsh papal edicts, consider this: On Tuesday it ran not one but five articles about the new James Bond film.

“Skyfall” gets a rave review in l’Osservatore Romano, which calls it one of the best of the 23 James Bond films made over the past 50 years.

In the main article, titled “007 License to Cry,” the newspaper says the latest incarnation of the world’s most famous spy is a rather good one because it makes him less of a cliché, and “more human, capable of being moved and of crying: in a word, more real”. [Source]

Can I have a License to Cry that l’Osservatore Romano published five articles on the new Bond film? I like engaging the culture but it can go overboard.

After the l’Osservatore Romano recommended some of the best rock albums I previously created this.

Since Google is never going to do this.

We could certainly use a patron saint for web searches – especially if you are trying to search the Vatican site.

* Somebody might have done this before.

There has been a lot of media attention regarding VatiLeaks and the conviction of the “Pope’s Butler.”  Just being able to use the words “Pope’s Butler” is a lot of fun for the media or really for everyone.  Though I always wonder what he duties actually were and if his duties really came down to being the Pope’s Valet.  But of course “Popes Valet” doesn’t have the same spin for use.

Now I also wonder does the Pope now have someone else filling the position? I ask this being a great fan of P.G. Wodehouse and the Bertie and Jeeves novels.  What if Pope Benedict XVI hired a Jeeves type character? Though the Pope is pretty much the antithesis of a Bertie Wooster.  Still I can imagine a semi Bertie-Jeeves conversation with Jeeves cast as a more progressive figure.  A kind of Bertie-Jeeves reversal.

“Pardon me, sir, but are you  proposing to enter Saint Peter Square in that mitre?”

“Eye of the Tiber” is a fairly new Catholic humor blog and this is going in my RSS feed immediately. Very funny and today’s post is classic.

San Fransisco, CA––The new Archbishop of San Francisco, Salvatore Cordileone, said Thursday after his installation, that he was overjoyed to see that the city had such a devotion to God’s covenant with Noah. “Who knew there could be so many rainbows in one place?” he said, happily, to reporters that had gathered after Mass. The 56 year old Archbishop who was recently appointed by Pope Benedict XVI to replace George Niederauer, hopes to work with San Franciscans and all those devoted to the Old Testament pre-deluge patriarch in the ceasing California’s gay marriage initiative.

Hat tip to Fr. Erik Richtsteig via Facebook

Saw this headline today:

Vatican confirms talks with traditionalists dead

Being that this is October with Halloween upcoming my first odd thought was that the Vatican had confirmed talks with rad trad zombies or some other dead (undead) traditionalists. Makes me though ponder on the concept of rad trad zombies walking around crying “Latin” instead of “Brains”.  Hey I could join in with them on that.

Though the progressive zombie is what is apt to give me nightmares as evidenced from one of my previous posts.

But Zombies already walk and talk among us. There are plenty of dissident Catholics and dissident religious orders that are nothing but Zombie Catholics. The Zombie religious orders have no postulants and an aging community. These orders are truly dead since they don’t grow and are full of providing dead theology and the corpse of aging heresies. Yet at the same time appear to be living animated things fooling some into believing that there words have life. The truth will set you free which is why Zombie Catholics will concentrate on one truth while ignoring others leaving them trapped in the world of the undead.

Outside of religious communities there are also plenty of Zombie professors in Catholic institutions. Now it would be nice if these Zombies would physically rot so that you could see the source of the corruption they teach. Unfortunately these undead often look just like everybody else. Though Zombie priests and religious sometimes can be identified because they will wear anything but a Roman collar or a habit. They can often be identified because they teach from the “Culture of the Undead.” Zombie Catholics might seem quite comical, but don’t ever forget that they are quite dangerous to those they convince. They teach of death in two ways – physical and spiritual . You can hear them promoting abortion or relativizing it. Creating reasons for why it alright to withdraw medical treatment from someone who is not dying. Justifying sacrificing embryos on the altar of science. When it comes to spiritual death the Zombie Catholics proclaim how a sin is not a sin and in fact something to be actively accepted. Whether it is the advocacy of homosexual acts, contraception, or any other normalization of sin; it is all a part of the Culture of the Undead.