Introducing WWJD-40 an amazing product with a thousand and one uses. Jesus gave Peter the power to bind and loose and wouldn’t you just love to be able to bind (but mainly loose) things yourself? Want to slip out of your vows or ease yourself comfortably through a
The component atoms of Megisterium align however you want them to align based on your will and when sprayed on something will loose them from magisterial authority. Are you being bound by 2000 years of Scripture and Apostolic Traditions? Are you stuck with the consistent teaching of the Church? Then just spray WWJD-40 on it and it will be loosened from Church teaching and pliable to your will.
Here are just some of the uses of WWJD-40!
These are just some of the amazing uses and we are sure you can come up with many more. Now everybody that wants to loose something for their own conscience also wants to bind someone else’s. So we also provide another awesome complimentary product.
With Epaxy adhesive you mix two packages containing self-will and disobedience to cause others to adhere to your version of Church teaching. Epaxy adhesive has been product tested for years by parish DRE’s to bind others to their priorities. Also works great to attach subjects that have prudential considerations directly to those that are always intrinsically evil. This adhesion allows you to promote one while ignoring the other – another amazing technique used for years in religious education with great results. Glue your agenda directly to those you have charge of.
So whether you want to bind (Epaxy) or loose (WWJD-40) we have the products made just for you. So order now to get yours since the demand is high!
Call 1-800-DIS-IDNT or visit many retreat centers to get these fine products.
Hat tip to RC at Catholic Light for the suggestion of doing a WWJD-40
This is my favorite use:
Politicians can use it to slip free from their faith for critical votes.
Kennedy, Kerry, and Durbin must order it by the case!
So whether you want to bind (Epaxy) or loose (WWJD-40)…
Great tie-in…poetic even…
If it has these effects it must be the “What Would JOAN Do – 40” … (or the What Would Judas do-40)
(as Sr Lou Breekant says: Let us spray!)
Unfortunately, I had just read a post on the LA Catholic blog reporting that a parish in Orange County wants to remove 59 kneeling parishioners from the parish (and services) because they refused to stay standing after the Agnus Dei. They actually printed up a special bulletin with the people listed by name, but a lawyer prevented them from distributing it.
Somehow, WWJD-40 didn’t seem nearly so amusing after having read that.
Great post Jeff!
Ray – I just read about Orange County. In my parish we are not forbidden to kneel but we have no kneelers either and there are many of us that just kneel on the floor.
How to slip out of your obligations
Just spray on some WWJD-40: details at the Curt Jester….
As a parish DRE I should say I resemble that remark, but I am laughing too hard to even consider being offended in the least. . . (for now)
After reading the stuff above on Orange County etc., I needed a good laugh! Thanks!
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