I really find it annoying that this approaching hurricane to Florida is named Frances. I can’t help but think of St. Francis and how unfair it is to name a destructive storm after him. Steven Riddle and others have said to pray that this storm might turn away and perhaps St. Francis is the perfect intercessor for this cause. This is kind of like saintly trademark infringement and St. Francis is much more powerful then a hoard of lawyers.
I really do think that we should change the conventions for naming hurricanes. I suggest that we pick names that could in some metaphysical way might affect them. I suggest naming them after politicians. After all they are full of hot air make a lot of noise but in the final analysis don’t usually do much. This naming effect would be like a reverse-onomatopoeia.
How about Hurricane Kerry? First it makes a lot of noise and generates a lot of hot air, Then it moves one way and then the other expending much of its energy. By the time November comes around the storm is losing steam and does no damage.
Would a Hurricane Edwards sue itself for the damage it caused?
And naming a hurricane after any Republican Senate Majority Leader would ensure its lack of effect at the end of the day.
Update: A commenter suggested:
How about naming them after legendary losing sports teams? You could start out with ‘Hurricane 2004 U.S. Men’s Olympic Basketball.’ And of course any ‘Hurricane Chicago Cubs,’ no matter how strong it starts, is sure to lose steam by the time it matters.
That is a good idea and goes along with my principle. And since I am a Buffalo Bills fan I would also suggest individual players for hurricane e names. For instance hurricane Scott Norwood would always hook wide right and avoid the coast completely. Hurricane Dan Marino would always stay in the pocket no matter what and have zero mobility.