Introducing the In-Sin-erator™, guaranteed to wipe away your sins when
It is advised that for proper use of the In-Sin-erator™ that
1. Approach the In-Sin-erator from the front.
2. Look for the proper inspection insignia on the In-Sin-erator™ otherwise
4.Choose an entrance to enter. One side will bring you face-to-face
|5. Make the sign of the cross while saying "Bless me Father, for
I have sinned. It has been (mentioned the time lapse since your last confession)"
6. You must list any mortal sins if committed
|Ensure that you have contrition for your sins.
Failure to be contrite or not listing all mortal sins is improper use of
this device and will not result in the desired removal of sin.
7. The priest unit is then activated and
Do not be alarmed if the penance given does not seem
|Failure of the priest assign contrition or if you do
no properly carry out the penance assigned is an improper operating procedure
and will not
result in the desired removal of sin.
8. Say an Act
9. The priest then gives absolution saying: "God
10. The priest will dismiss you wit the words of praise:
11. Proceed to properly exit the In-Sin-erator™.
12. If the proper procedures have been followed, then congratulations
|Frequent use of this device when properly
used can help in the result of sanctity. Suggested period of planned soul
maintenance should at least be monthly or on a period as specified by a
|On occasion these procedures will not be in accordance with factory standards.
There are some known defective priest units out in the field that have
yet to be recalled by the areas factory field representative, the Bishop.
Report any improperly operating units and proceed directly to a functioning
|Hours of operation. These hours may vary
due to your local operator. Access may be before each Mass or on Saturdays
between 5:00 and 5:05 P.M.
|When hearing confession, the priest unit should be wearing a purple stole. The color purple signifies sorrow and penance. If the priest unit is not wearing a stole the proper sin cleaning will still occur if other factory conditions are met.|
|Confession given by other then factory approved priest units violates the terms of the warranty and no cleaning will occur. Attempts of multiple cleanings such as a communal penance service where death is not imminent and the service does not end with individual use of the In-Sin-erator�, also fails the terms of the warranty.|
Doing a parody of an In-Sin-erator was suggested to me by Josh of Dei Gratia.