Our Lady of the Perpetually Okay Church

Hi I am Father/Mother
Feelgood of the Our Lady of the Perpetually Okay Church parish and I
would like to invite you to our
exciting and relevant faith community. We are a Roman Catholic parish,
but don’t worry about that old fuddy-duddy in Rome; he doesn’t run this
parish. We are welcoming community to those who have been hurt or forced
to abide by rules in other churches. The Catechism here is our consciences
and that is what we follow. Now unlike Protestant churches who don’t
follow Rome we kind of like some of the exterior practices of the Roman
Catholic church, though our understanding of these practices and sacraments
is slightly different.

Our church does not have a separation between the sanctuary
and the congregation. Our church is one large sanctuary so everybody
can gather around each other and affirm each other in our collective
okayness.

Here is an example of our teaching.

A sacraments is an exterior
sign of no interior action.

The entry sacrament into our church is the Sacrament
of Tolerance. Just come into the worship space and let us know
of your desire to enter into our faith community. You begin by stating “I’m
Okay!”, the congregation then says “We tolerate you.” That’s all there
is to it. No need of interior conversion, repentance, or any other
judgmental Medieval practice. Just remember “For God so tolerated the
world, that he gave his only Son.”

As we stay the same in our faith, there comes a time when
we just need to strengthen that we are okay, this is the Sacrament called Confirmation
of Affirmation. One of our members will take our holy oils (such
as Wesson or Pam) and then draw or spray an “O” on your forehead as a
sign that your okay. If anybody disagrees that you are okay they will
receive
a
light slap on their face.

With aroma therapy comes the Sacrament
of Holy Odors . This is an inclusive sacrament that can be given
to anybody male or female. We gather around the Holy Diffuser and inhale
in the wonderous odors. There are three levels of Holy Odors: Eucalyptus,
Frankincense, and Jasmine.

One of the most important sacraments is the Sacrament
of Holy Partnership . This is where we join you and your partner
together for life. Just remember our concept of “for life” is the same
as the criminal justice system. For life doesn’t actually mean until
one of you die. We bless your life-long committed relationship until such
a time as you become uncommitted. We do not discriminate against gender
affiliation and one or more people can receive this meaningful blessing.

The Sacrament of Holy Community .
As a faith community we gather together around the sanctuary and one
of our members confects the elements and transubstantiation occurs. This
is where wine and bread are sacramentally changed to water and crackers.
This is a great mystery and the source and summit of our faith. This
is also know by the name Youchrist, because You are Christ, as we all
are Christ.

We remove past wrongs with the Sacrament
of Reconciliation . This is where a representative of the Church
apologizes to you for past wrongs such as the psychological terror
of calling things in conformance with your conscience “sins.” You enter
the reconciliation conference room and a minister of reconciliation
says “Bless you brother/sister for the Church has done wrong.” You
then assign us penance and go on your way.

The Sacrament of Last Rights .
As our members are dying we administer this awe inspiring sacrament for
your journey to Heaven. We gather around your bed and no matter what you
have
done in life we say “You were Right.” If ones dies without this sacrament
it really doesn’t matter since we are all going to heaven anyway. But
it is nice to be affirmed that you were Right.

Wednesday Night Bible Study – After our first
meeting last week and looking at some of the theological trends of
the bible we believe that it not relevant any more. The idea of original
sin and a need for someone to make restitution for it is pass� and
doesn’t match the strict requirements of our intellectual faith. Thus
we have dropped the whole thing. You may still study the bible for private
edification. If you do we recommend the following. If your interpretation
of a passage causes you to need to change something in your life, then
your interpretation is in error. Re-read until it conforms to your world-view
and you will be just fine.

Warning about the “The Da Vince Code” – this
is a preposterous and unhistorical novel. It is ridiculous story. After
all we all know
that Jesus and Mary Magdalene were fictional people who the early church
invented as a projection of the God and Sinner paradigm popular at that time.
We are much smarter now.