Now that John Kerry has probably clinched the nomination for President by the Democrats his career is receiving even more attention. More people are becoming aware of a period in his life after returning from Vietnam. In a Curt Jester exclusive we have obtained some of the actual testimony that Sen. John Kerry gave before Congress in the so-called “Wintermint Soldier Investigation.”
“They told stories that at times they had personally offered old Wintermint gum to children and women. This gum soon lost its taste and they kept brands like Wrigleys to themselves. They randomly offered this gum to civilians, gave it out in villages in a fashion reminiscent of Ghengis Khan, and offered it to cattle and dogs for fun. Throughout the countryside of South Vietnam in addition to the normal ravage of war and the normal and very particular offering of this gum. In some cases they even chewed and placed this gum on people’s genitals.”
We were rather surprised at these revelations since for the most part Sen. Kerry’s voting record has been anti-gum and he has refused to take money from the gum lobby. Even going so far as voting for a gum ban for gum chewed on Saturday nights. Additionally he has tried to reduce loop holes for the selling of gum at gum shows. Is this because of a guilty conscience? Did Sen. Kerry also offer stale Wintermint gum to civilians?
You are so strange, but definitely amusing.
BTW, isn’t Kerry a Catholic? And exactly what kind of Catholic is one, exactly, if one can tell the Pope to go jump in the lake?
“And exactly what kind of Catholic is one, exactly, if one can tell the Pope to go jump in the lake?”
Their called Protestants.
“They’re”, not “Their”.
Talk about letting the air out of a zinger.
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