New Betty Ford Center opening

The Betty Ford Center has opened up a new clinic for blogger addiction. This
relatively new and insidious addiction is growing on the internet and is affecting
unknown thousands of people. This condition has now been classified by blogsycholigists
as Blogger Addiction Disorder (BAD). Dr. Rantus the new head for the Center
for Blogger Addiction Disorder has a list of the signs for friends and family
members to look out for.

• Lack of sleep caused by combing through a large number of news sites and
  weblogs looking for stories to comment on. The addicted blogger will usually
  not go to bed until they have found at least one unique story that has not
  been commented about in their blogging community.
• Instead of healthy communications with their spouses they might ask their
  spouse to leave a comment or to email them.
• The blogger might suddenly close down their weblog but within a matter of
  days or hours announce that they will start blogging again even if on a more limited basis.
• They walk around looking glum and are easily angered on days when their
  commenting systems are down. It is advised to not come in contact with a blogger
  in this state until their commenting system is back up.
• Archivephobia or Sudden Archive Loss paranoia is a condition exhibited by
  bloggers using blogger and blogspot. They constantly check their archives
  on an hourly basis to see if they are still there. Some blogsychologists disagree
  that this condition is paranoia since their archives might actually disappear
  at any time.
• Obsessive-compulsive Referral Checking (ORC) is a condition where the blogger
  is constantly checking their blog statistics to see what web sites are referring
  users to them. Another category in this condition is Obsessive-compulsive
  Comment Checking (OCC).
• Blogroll Size Disorder can be detected by a blogroll with hundreds of entries
  to other weblogs. The affected blogger is usually hoping that by listing hundreds
  of weblogs that one of them will in turn provide a reciprocal link back to
  them.
• Instapundit Attention Deficit disorder (IAD) is the name of the condition
  where a user will try everything they can to attract the attention of Glenn
  Reynolds. Other disorders within this category are The
  Corner Attention Deficit disorder (CAD) and Shea Attention Deficit disorder
  (SAD).
• Another item to look for is frequent commenting on weblogs. Frequent commenting
  is a gateway disorder which normally leads to that person starting their own
  weblog. If we can get help to that person in the frequent commenting stage
  we might be able to prevent BAD or at least reduce the symptoms.
• Fiskitis is the condition where the subject will write comments after every
  couple lines of a document or an article. A clinical case of severe Fiskitis
  was observed in a husband who returned a birthday card to his wife with comments
  on every other line of the preprinted birthday message.
• Full Anal Retentive Troll Syndrome (FARTS) is a physiological disease exhibited
  by both commenters and bloggers. Commenting FARTS usually will leave foul
  and illogical posts in a comment box and will repeatedly return to argue.
  IP banning and ignoring are currently the only two treatments for those suffering
  with this psychological disease. FARTS with a blog usually have no original
  contents or ideas but will concentrate only on attacking others with a blog.
  For the classic example of this type of blogger see the Nihil
  Obstat weblog. FARTS should not be attacked, but should be pitied since
  they usually have the self-esteem of a fourteen year old with acne.

If you notice anyone exhibiting these signs contact the Center for Blogger
Addiction Disorder at 1-800-GETALIFE. They offer affordable room rates and recovery
enhancement programs fully covered by most insurance carriers.

This post came about as the result of Domenico Bettinelli’s post on Crack
blogging and Kairo’s post which said (Blogging
is like very slow, very aggravating crack blogging. Trust me on this one.)

Blogging (Sung to Cocaine by JJ Cale, made famous by Eric Clapton)

If you wanna rant out, and you’ve got no clout; blogging.
If you wanna knock down, down on the ground; blogging.
Truth or lie, truth or lie, truth or lie; blogging.

If you got bad news, you wanna kick them blues; blogging.
When your day is done and you wanna shun; blogging.
Truth or lie, truth or lie, truth or lie; blogging.

If you have no life and you wanna cause strife; blogging.
Don’t forget this fact, you can go on the attack; blogging.
Truth or lie, truth or lie, truth or lie; blogging.

Truth or lie, truth or lie, truth or lie; blogging.