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The Curt Jester

"It is the test of a good religion whether you can joke about it." GKC

Humor

Star Wars Characters in the Confessional

by Jeffrey Miller December 4, 2014
written by Jeffrey Miller

Leave it to LarryD of Acts of the Apostasy to come up with a hilarious post titled Star Wars Characters in the Confessional. Quite fun.

Although he left me some low-hanging fruit to add on in reaction to his post.

Ja Ja Binks

Ja Ja: “Father forgive missa for my sinn.”

Priest: “Sorry you can not be forgiven as a character and considering your horrible accent I am quite sure you have commited the sin against the Holy Spirit or at least against all Star Wars fans.”

R2-D2

R2: “twerp beep crang blurp dwing.”

Priest: What?

R2: “twerp beep crang blurp dwing.”

Priest: “One more time please.”

R2: “twerp beep crang blurp dwing.”

Priest: “Hmm, well if you are repentant of your sins beep out a series of binary coded Hail Marys and next time bring C–3PO with you to translate.”

December 4, 2014 2 comments
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Software

App Review – Divine Office 2

by Jeffrey Miller December 3, 2014
written by Jeffrey Miller

Ever since I abandoned the 4-Volume set of the Liturgy of the Hours for mobile app versions I am still always on the prowl for newer apps and updates. The original entry in this field was iBreviary by Fr. Padrini. While good enough I was never happy with the daily update mechanism and the app itself has not been updated for a year and a half.

I had been interested in the Universalis app, but at almost $30 dollars at the time I stuck with iBreviary. This changed when I got the first iPad and Universalis was the only Liturgy of the Hours iPad app at the time. So for some years I have been fairly happy with Universalis as no daily text update is required. It was also superior since instead of just scrolling the text you turned pages which was much more convenient. It also had options such as what translation of the Psalms to use. My only annoyance with the app is that the text used is not the same text as in the official 4-Volume set and the selection of hymns is repetitive. On the plus side the app has been continually updated with changes made on phone software updates to match the user interface. Very well designed with some attention to detail. At $13.99 now it is still a solid choice and is available on iOS and Android.

During my year using an Android phone I start looking at apps again and at the time the Divine Office app was semi-affordable and so I bought it. It was much like iBreviary as it used scrolling text and also used the official text. The daily experience was rather seamless where you are not concerned about downloading the texts for the day. It has a very unique feature in that in addition it has audio versions for all the hours. I mainly used this feature at times when driving and it was nice to hear a community of people singing the psalms along with professional recordings of the hymns. Still mainly I used Universalis for my daily reading and switching off to the Divine Office app for a change of pace or during octaves when Universalis got repetitive.

The main reason I am writing this post is that recently they have released a new version of the app Divine Office 2. It is now a much better app and one that I will probably now use daily as they have really added some nice new features.

The user interface is familiar as it follows the skeuomorphic design pattern of mimicking a physical book along with giving a patina of an old book. I think the design is a little overblown as I am preferring the more flat design pattern as in iOS7/8. What I like most is that on the iPad you now have regular pages that you turn instead of the continual scroll. I am not sure why they didn’t do this before since Apple has APIs to fairly easily access the same libraries as used in their iBooks app. Regardless it make the app easier to use. Unfortunately the iPhone version still scrolls the page. It has also been updated to fit the new larger iPhones.

divineoffice2ipad-resized

Playing back the audio versions of the various hours has been totally revamped. For example now you can change the playback speed along with skipping forward and back easily. While I did enjoy the audio versions the length of them could be quite lengthy at times. Adjusting the playback speed corrects this for me. Since this audio must be downloaded there is a setting for how many days you want downloaded at a time. A default of seven days which can be decreased or increased up to 21 days. This is important if you are on travel when you less likely to have access to a reliable WiFi connection. You can also select to have this download on WiFi only. Unfortunately it defaults to using both your cellular connection and WiFi. WiFi only should be the default and since this is buried in a setting some people might get a nasty surprise regarding their cellular download cap. Oh and just because I am rather picky app-wise I was also annoyed that the title of the apps as it appears on iOS is the same icon and title as the previous version.

divineoffice2iphone-resized

There are some other features for the Divine Office app that are more interesting than really useful. It has a status telling you how many people are praying the Divine Office using this app. Along with a turning globe that can be viewed showing around the world who is using this app. There is also a liturgical calendar. Still I would have preferred having the daily Mass readings like Universalis instead of the spinning globe. They also have sharing capabilities but it is rather crippled. Instead of using the iOS 8 share sheet it has a custom one that will only send a link to and About Today page via Facebook, Twitter, email, etc. Just not very useful. Plus there is no way to copy or highlight text displayed. I especially find that the Office of Readings sometimes contains something I want to copy for future reference. Universalis allows you to copy a column on a page, but not much else.

For those who bought the original version there is an upgrade package where you can buy the new version for $4.99. Otherwise their pricing is currently five dollars off at $14.99. So overall I found this to be worthwhile upgrade and it is finely nice to have page turns with the official text. If you ever pray the Divine Office with others this is quite important.

No doubt I will still be switching back and forth at times between Divine Office 2 and Universalis, but I just like the change off. I am still waiting for the perfect Liturgy of the Hours app, well perfect for my use. Until then still we have some good choices.

I don’t know what the status is for an Android version of Divine Office 2 since there is no new information on their page and the original app does not include the new changes. The Android version for the tablet like many Android tablet apps is just scaled up without putting the larger form factor to use.

December 3, 2014 1 comment
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Book Review

Book Review – Behold Your Mother

by Jeffrey Miller December 3, 2014
written by Jeffrey Miller

After listening to Tim Staples for many years on Catholic Answers I was always hoping he would finally get around to writing a book. He has produced lots of audio CDs along with one book containing a collection of his excellent columns in This Rock (now renamed) magazine. So I finally got my wish with Behold Your Mother – A Biblical and Historical Defense of the Marian Doctrines.

The Marian doctrines and the high place Mary occupies for Catholics was never really a problem with me during my conversion. Once I got over the “Yes there is a God” and accepted the authority of the Catholic Church I was in the wanting to learn more mode. Still Catholic radio has certainly demonstrated that this is very often a stumbling block for Protestants. Whether they are heading towards the Church or just dumbfounded by this it is an obvious problem to address in the area of apologetics.

With Tim Staples bing an ex-Assembly of God Youth Pastor he has experienced this reaction personally. The focus of this book is largely of an apologetics nature in working with Protestants, but can also be useful for Catholics not quite sure what the big deal is about Mary.

As a one volume work in popular apologetics it really packs a punch. As the subtitle suggests it looks at all the Marian Doctrines along with a lot of the titles associated with the Blessed Mother. I really enjoyed the tone of the book which was instructional without being dry. Common and other objections are dealt with during each chapter along with later chapters and appendixes providing deeper information.

Tim really did his homework and there are a wealth of footnotes. These footnotes go beyond just references, but also contain further information along with fuller quotes. For a change instead of just skipping over the footnotes, I actually read many of them. As you would expect there is also plenty of Patristic references matched up to the chapters in the book.

Al Kresta on his radio show when talking about this book said that he wished such a work was available in his Protestant days as he would have returned to the Church much sooner. This illustrates exactly why a book like this is so important since there are so many objections to Catholicism based on our special veneration due to the Blessed Virgin Mary.

December 3, 2014 0 comment
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Book Review

Book Review – The Glory of the Crusades

by Jeffrey Miller December 2, 2014
written by Jeffrey Miller

I’ve read some books on the history of the Crusades and it is a rather fascinating chapter of Church history. It is kind of like the Facebook relationship status “It’s complicated.” Yet as interesting as the history of the Crusades is, it is usually a history that was filtered and altered down to us as a synonym of evil. In a Robert Heinlein book I recently read the Crusades were put on the same par as the Holocaust.

So when I first heard mention of a new book put out by Catholic Answers on the subject I was of course intrigued. Especially since it has the provocative title of The Glory of the Crusades. So I was very happy to get a review copy.

The author Steve Weidenkopf is a lecturer of Church History at the Notre Dame Graduate School of Christendom College. As with other books on the history of the Crusades I have read there is a robust debunking of the various myths associated with them. I really enjoyed getting a much broader look at the historical context especially all the events that lead up to them. These events make it more understandable to see why Pope Urban II called for what became known as the first Crusade. In the past I had thought that it was the case that pilgrims to the Holy Lands were harassed or killed. I had no idea the scope of this such as when a group of 12,000 pilgrims were massacred by the Seljuk Turks. At the same time there were incursions on the Byzantine Empire as the Seljuk Turks took over Nicea and were in range of Constantinople. This caused Emperor Alexius I Comnenus to send ambassadors to the pope seeking help in a rescue effort. An irony of history considering the tragic events of the Fourth Crusade.

One of the problems with reviewing this book is that I learned so much from it along with the book being chock-full of surprising tidbits. It would be so easy to want to fill the review with all this information. I was totally absorbed in his relating of this history the good and the bad. While called The Glory of the Crusades this book does not shy off from the shame of some of the actions during them such as the despicable Sack of Constantinople. Lots of contrasts between men like Godfrey who rejected the title of king and his brother Baldwin who had no qualms about being named King in Jerusalem. Contrasts between St. Louis IX and Frederick II. The retelling of this history is such that at times I felt frustration over the stupidity of how the Crusades were managed from a logistical point of view and how they seemed to learn no lessons from previous Crusades. Along with anger regarding the evil done during the Crusades. This history became bright in my mind like it was a recent event. In modern times we think of national armies like the wars in the last 100 years and how different this was from the reality concerning the centuries the Crusades occurred in. The picturesque phrase “herding cats” seems to be an apt comparison to the loose associations of the men signed with the cross.

The term Crusades is a modern word as the author notes.

“Crusading contemporaries used the term passagia, among others, meaning an “exceptionally large military expedition declared against unbelievers.” Those who undertook the passagia were known as crucesignati, or “those signed with the cross.”

One final aspect of this book that I enjoyed is it also went into a more detailed history of how the well-known myths became the accepted history for many. It is easy to see how this was done as we have experienced in recent history regarding Pius XII. A history retold through through anti-Catholic bias by first Protestants and then secularists, Communists, and eventually Muslims. There was enough evil in the Crusades that it didn’t need to be embellished, yet still it was recast as if the Crusaders were the invading armies bent only on riches. At least modern Crusades scholarship is now more focused on studying this history through the perspective of the participants instead of simply projecting on them their motives.

This was a thoroughly enjoyable read with close to 700 footnotes. Usually a large number of footnotes is inversely proportional to how enjoyable something is to read.

December 2, 2014 0 comment
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The Weekly Francis

The Weekly Francis – Volume 81 – 1 December 2014

by Jeffrey Miller December 1, 2014
written by Jeffrey Miller

pope-francis2-300x187This version of The Weekly Francis covers material released in the last week from 13–30 November 2014.

The Weekly Francis is a compilation of the Holy Father’s writings, speeches, etc which I also post at Jimmy Akin’s The Weekly Francis. Jimmy Akin came up with this idea when he started “The Weekly Benedict” and I have taken over curation of it.

Angelus

  • 16 November 2014
  • 23 November 2014

Apostolic Letters

  • 21 November 2014 – Apostolic Letter to all Consecrated people on the occasion of the Year of Consecrated Life

General Audiences

  • 19 November 2014
  • 26 November 2014

Homilies

  • 29 November 2014 – Holy Mass and Canonizations
  • 29 November 2014 – Holy Mass at the Catholic Cathedral of the Holy Spirit
  • 30 November 2014 – Divine Liturgy in the Patriarchal Church of St. George

Messages

  • 24 October 2014 – Message of the Holy Father to French seminarians on the occasion of their meeting at the Marian Shrine of Lourdes [8–10 November 2014]

Speeches

  • 7 November 2014 – To participants in the National Assembly of the Italian Conference of Major Superiors (CISM)
  • 8 November 2014 – Meeting with the Italian Catholic Scout Movement for Adults (MASCI)
  • 10 November 2014 – To Bishops of the Episcopal Conference of Senegal-Cape Verde-Mauritania-Guinea Bissau on their “ad Limina” visit
  • 14 November 2014 – Meeting with participants in the World Congress of Accountants
  • 15 November 2014 – To partipants in a commemorative conference of the Italian Catholic Physicians’ Association on the occasion of its 70th anniversary of foundation
  • 17 November 2014 – To participants in the International Colloquium on the complementarity between man and woman sponsored by the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith
  • 20 November 2014 – Visit to FAO on the occasivion of the 2nd International Conference on Nutrition
  • 20 November 2014 – Letter of the Holy Father to participants in the Plenary Assembly of the Pontifical Council for Promoting Christian Unity
  • 22 November 2014 – Meeting with participants in the XXIX International Conference sponsored by the Pontifical Council for Health Care Workers on «The Person with Autism Spectrum Disorders: Animating Hope»
  • 24 November 2014 – To faithful of the syro-malabar rite gathered for the Canonization of Kuriakose Elias Chavara of the Holy Family and of Euphrasia Eluvathingal of the Sacred Heart
  • 25 November 2014 – Press Conference of the Holy Father during the return flight from Strasbourg (Papal Flight)
  • 25 November 2014 – Visit to the Council of Europe
  • 25 November 2014 – Visit to the European Parliament
  • 28 November 2014 – Meeting with the President, Prime Minister and Civil Authorities
  • 28 November 2014 – Visit to the President of Religious Affairs (Diyanet)
  • 29 November 2014 – Ecumenical Prayer in the Patriarchal Church of Saint George
  • 30 November 2014 – Ecumenical Blessing and signing of the Common Declaration
  • 30 November 2014 – Greeting of the students of the Salesian Oratory gathered in the garden of the Papal Representative’s Residence

Daily Homilies (fervorinos)

  • 13 November 2014 – In the Kingdom of God with 50 cents in their pocket
  • 14 November 2014 – Children’s Day
  • 24 November 2014 – Where the light comes from
  • 27 November 2014 – Depression or hope?

Papal Tweets

  • “Love is the measure of faith.” @pontifex, 1 November 2014
December 1, 2014 0 comment
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Liturgy

Have a Blessed Advent!

by Jeffrey Miller November 29, 2014
written by Jeffrey Miller

Nine years ago I decided to create my own Advent Wreath graphic instead of just using the normal animated gif that I had used previously. If you would like it for your own blog you can use the html code below. I will replace the graphic each week so that it correctly shows the number of candles that should be lit. On Christmas I will change it to another graphic I created for Christmastide.

<img src="http://www.splendoroftruth.com/curtjester/wp-content/uploads/Advent/curtjester_advent.gif" width="170" height="189" />
November 29, 2014 1 comment
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LinkLiturgy

It’s beginning to feel alot like Advent

by Jeffrey Miller November 26, 2014
written by Jeffrey Miller

Via Brandon Vogt:

This morning Fr. Robert Barron launched AdventReflections.com, a place where people can sign up to receive FREE daily reflections throughout Advent.

Each day, from November 30 until Christmas Eve (December 24), Fr. Barron will email a short reflection on an Advent theme, in either English or Spanish (your choice!). In addition, subscribers receive exclusive videos not found anywhere else,** special discount codes** for new products, and several giveaways throughout Advent including DVDs, CDs, signed books, and more. The best part? It’s totally FREE!

Sign-up now at AdventReflections.com.

Also Amy Welborn has a new Avent devotional out. Prepare Him Room: Advent Family Devotions. Kindle version is a steal at .99! I super enjoyed her Lenten devotional and so look forward to reading this one.

November 26, 2014 0 comment
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Prayer

How I Pray

by Jeffrey Miller November 24, 2014
written by Jeffrey Miller

Thomas L. McDonald at God and the Machine started a series called “How I Pray”. As Tom said this is a “shameless rip off” of the Lifehacker series “How I work”.

Every Monday in How I Pray, I ask various Catholics about their prayer routines, their prayer lives, and their experience of prayer.

In the first week of the new series he subjected himself to the questions to be answered, in the second week it was my turn to answer How I Pray and this week it is Jimmy Akin’s turn.

  • Thomas L. McDonald
  • Jeffrey Miller
  • Jimmy Akin

Tom’s and Jimmy’s answers are a nice read and I look forward to further entries in this series. It is really excellent to see concrete examples of how other work out their prayer life and what helps them.

November 24, 2014 2 comments
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The Weekly Francis

The Weekly Francis – Volume 80 – 24 November 2014

by Jeffrey Miller November 24, 2014
written by Jeffrey Miller

pope-francis2-300x187This version of The Weekly Francis covers material released in the last week from 6 November – 22 November 2014.

The Weekly Francis is a compilation of the Holy Father’s writings, speeches, etc which I also post at Jimmy Akin’s The Weekly Francis. Jimmy Akin came up with this idea when he started “The Weekly Benedict” and I have taken over curation of it.

Angelus

  • 9 November 2014

General Audiences

  • 12 November 2014

Letters

  • 6 November 2014 – Letter of the Holy Father to the Prime Minister of Australia on the occasion of the G20 Summit [Brisbane, 15–16 November 2014]

Speeches

  • 7 November 2014 – To participants in the Ecumenical Convention of Bishop-Friends of the Focolare Movement
  • 8 November 2014 – To participants in the General Chapter of the Congregation of the Daughters of Mary Help of Christians
  • 17 November 2014 – To the Bishops of the Episcopal Conference of Zambia on their “ad Limina” visit
  • 22 November 2014 – Address of the Holy Father to Participants of the Third World Congress of Ecclesial Movements and New Communities

Daily Homilies (fervorinos)

  • 6 November 2014 – God always goes the distance
  • 7 November 2014 – Two Coats of paint
  • 10 November 2014 – Sinful Christians
  • 11 November 2014 – Don’t be lazy
  • 17 November 2014 – From Jericho to Rome
  • 18 November 2014 – Am I alive on the inside?
  • 19 November 2014 – Fear of surprises
  • 20 November 2014 – Jesus weeps

Papal Tweets

  • “Work is so important for human dignity, for building up a family, for peace!” @pontifex, 11 November 2014
  • “War destroys, kills, impoverishes. Lord, give us your peace!” @pontifex, 13 November 2014
  • “A Christian brings peace to others. Not only peace, but also love, kindness, faithfulness and joy.” @pontifex, 15 November 2014
  • “There is so much noise in the world! May we learn to be silent in our hearts and before God.” @pontifex, 18 November 2014
  • “Let us seek to live in a way that is always worthy of our Christian vocation.” @pontifex, 20 November 2014
  • “When we meet a person truly in need, do we see the face of God?” @pontifex, 21 November 2014

Note: There are still a large number of documents that have not yet been translated into English.

November 24, 2014 0 comment
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Punditry

Queer Santas: Holy Violence

by Jeffrey Miller November 12, 2014
written by Jeffrey Miller

I can almost always rely on maximum spin and distortion for a story from the Religion News Service. This article by Kimberly Winston delivered via RNS and Crux is very laughable in a sad way.

Were some Catholic saints transgender? Berkeley show raises eyebrows

BERKELEY, Calif. — Step into the one-room art gallery inside the Pacific School of Religion and look closely at the saints in the paintings: Some have beards; some have buzz cuts; some have their breasts obscured; some appear in unisex clothes like tanks tops and jeans.

Are they women or men?

That’s the point of artist Alma Lopez’s new show, “Queer Santas: Holy Violence,” on display at this theological school known for its embrace of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender persons. In playing with the gender characteristics of religious icons usually depicted as feminine, Lopez asks us to reconsider our ideas of religion, beauty, and gender.

Justin Tanis, who teaches at the school, said it’s as if these saints, with their direct eye contact and open arms, are saying, “‘I am natural, I am one of God’s people.’ And yet this is an image that many people would consider heretical because gender play is involved.”

Gender play is at work in each of the icons in the show — St. Lucia, St. Wilgefortis, and St. Liberata.

Lopez, a visiting artist at the University of California, Los Angeles, said she was attracted to these saints because their stories have a common theme — each one tried to step out of the expected role for a woman of her time and, as a result, was the victim of terrible violence.

Take St. Wilgefortis’ story. A 14th-century noblewoman promised in marriage without her consent, she prayed to God to be made ugly so she could keep a vow of chastity she made to Jesus. God granted her a man’s beard. The marriage was off, but Wilgefortis — whose name means “strong face” — was crucified by her father.

The stories of St. Liberata and St. Lucia are similar: Liberata sprouted a beard, and Lucia had her eyes torn out when she disappointed her family.

“All of these saints are women who took their own agency and stepped outside gender norms,” Tanis said as he stood before Lopez’s rendition of St. Liberata, arms splayed in a way that suggests both crucifixion and winged flight. “In that sense, they were queer and violence was done to them for it.”

As they say “Read the whole thing” if you want to get hit repeatedly with the stupid hammer.

“So far it’s been quiet,” he said. “But we are prepared to offer hospitality to any protesters.”

In other words “Where are the protesters? We did something shocking to draw the loving media gaze and nobody is giving us free publicity by protesting us.”

November 12, 2014 4 comments
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About Me

Jeff Miller is a former atheist who after spending forty years in the wilderness finds himself with both astonishment and joy a member of the Catholic Church. This award-winning blog presents my hopefully humorous and sometimes serious take on things religious, political, and whatever else crosses my mind.

Conversion story

  • Catholic Answers Magazine
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Blogging since July 2002

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About Me

Jeff Miller is a former atheist who after spending forty years in the wilderness finds himself with both astonishment and joy a member of the Catholic Church. This award winning blog presents my hopefully humorous and sometimes serious take on things religious, political, and whatever else crosses my mind.
My conversion story
  • The Curt Jester: Disturbingly Funny --Mark Shea
  • EX-cellent blog --Jimmy Akin
  • One wag has even posted a list of the Top Ten signs that someone is in the grip of "motu-mania," -- John Allen Jr.
  • Brilliance abounds --Victor Lams
  • The Curt Jester is a blog of wise-ass musings on the media, politics, and things "Papist." The Revealer

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I also blog at Happy Catholic Bookshelf Twitter
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