With Thanksgiving fast approaching and Advent right on its heels it is time for the annual posts and reactions about the whole "Merry Christmas" greetings controversy. With store clerks and fellow employees confused about the greeting protocol that is to be accepted people are using the most generic terms possible for fear of offending. With stores such as Wal-Mart ordering there employees to use "Happy Holidays" we need something to help reduce the fear of simply saying "Merry Christmas."
I propose a Holiday Greeting EULA. This End-User License Agreement could be worn on your clothes so as to be easily seen by others.
Article 1. GRANT OF LICENSE
I hereby grant the viewer permission to say "Merry Christmas" without fear of giving offense or insult. I release the viewer from all worries, concerns, fear, litigation, or uneasiness from wishing me a Merry Christmas or any other reference to Jesus’s birthday.
Use of "Happy Holidays" is a reasonable substitution since this is a reference to the Holy Day – the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, so you just might as well wish me a "Merry Christmas."
Of course there should be a EULA for those who don’t want this greeting.
Article 1. TERMINATION OF LICENSE
I am a very tolerant and liberal individual who promotes diversity and multiculturalism at every chance.
Just don’t dare wish me a "Merry Christmas" or I will file a lawsuit faster than the ACLU upon spying a cross on a city seal.
And why is it that Seasons Greetings is only used during Christmas? Why not year long? Why are we discriminating against the other seasons?