Mighty Morphin Power Theologians

Mark Shea talking about the Christian parody magazine The Door.

This reminds me of a Door article on genetic engineering
that came out years ago which proposed mixing the genetic material of various
people and getting offspring like “Martin Luther Vandross” (a German monk whose
sexy soul stylings prompt nuns to renounce their vows) and “Karl Barth Simpson” (a
precocious young theologian whose seminal essay on how the New Covenant eliminates
the need for Levitical animal sacrifice is entitled “Don’t Half a Cow, Man!”
[Post]

Cool concept, here are some additions of my own:

• John Calvin Klien, a theologian who teaches double-predestination in the
  latest fashions.
• Albert the Great Collins, A church father who lays down
  the blues groove
  with his theological Telecaster.
• John Paul McCartney, the Pope that responds
  to the American church by saying “Let it Be” and tells the Orthodox church to “Come
  Together” and prays to the apostle “Hey Jude Thaddeus”
• Jack Benny Hinn, a comedic/televangelist
  where first you get slain in the spirit and then he slays you with his violin
  playing.
• Elton John of the Cross a nearsighted theologian, singer and poet
  who is detached enough to say goodbye to the yellow brick road
• Jan Micheal
  Vincent
  de Paul acting theologian who preaches on charity and B-movies
• St. Bonoventure,
  U2 can be a Franciscan Theologian
• Bon Scott Hahn, AC/DC Singer and
  Theologian who teaches you how to avoid the Highway to Hell