Are you cohabitating and living with that special someone for the current time being and want to bring your relationship to another level without actually committing to another level? Want to show your significant other that she is still kinda significant” Then this is the product for you.
Never before available anywhere and not available in stores is the “Nonengagement Ring.”
Made of non-durable plastics that can fall apart at any time!
Guaranteed not to last or your money back.
Available in six tacky colors!
We use a new patented will impregnated volatile chemical formula to make sure the ring only lasts as long as you want it to. Built of the same materials used make political promises! As soon as you become unhappy or want to move on the ring immediately dissolves.
The only commitment you need is to dial 1-800-FREE-MILK and order the ring of her temporary dreams.*
*Credit Cards only, No checks – someone who would buy our products can’t be trusted.
Actually, cash-only transactions would be best. Do you know how untrustworthy some people are about paying off their credit cards? 😉
Even better than plastic rings would be candy rings. Much less durable and will leave you with a sweet taste in your mouth after the relationship sours.
Those look like those kind of rings we used to get at the Lucky Duck booth at the church festival every year.
This is hysterical. Jeff Miller’s mind works in mysterious ways.