No it’s not Scrappleface or from the pages of The Onion.
EDMONTON — Corrections Canada won’t let guards at maximum-security prisons wear stab-proof vests because it sends a confrontational “signal” to prisoners, says a department spokesman. “If you have that kind of presence symbolized by (a stab-proof vest), you’re sending a signal to the prisoner that you consider him to be a dangerous person,” said Tim Krause. “It interferes with what we call ‘dynamic security.’ We want staff to talk to prisoners, to see how they’re doing.”
A kinder gentler security guard. “Thats a fine implement you have. Did you make it yourself? Good craftsmanship. What did you call it, oh yeah, a shiv. Make sure you don’t run with it. You might hurt yourself.”