Early in my conversion I read the “Story of a Soul”. In many ways it was for
me like reading something from an alien culture; the piety of her and her family
were the antithesis of anything I had ever experienced. In many ways this book
was a great corrective for me, especially the doctrine of the “Little Way”. I
think it is a common experience for converts to try to consume everything of the
Catholic faith all at once. From consecrations to novenas to secular orders
there is a temptation to try do do everything but in the end the lack of focus
can become a distraction. Her book taught me that I didn’t have to achieve many
great things but that I could be more selective and choose those practices that
would help me as an individual to grow more in love of God and neighbor. I have
no problems with consecrations, novenas, secular orders, etc. but not everybody
needs to get involved with every devotional practice. As a Secular Carmelite I
love reading the Divine Office and praying the Rosary, but now I am able to
consecrate more on the devotions I choose instead of being a jack-of-all
practices and master of none. I am in no way a master of the Rosary or Divine
Office and contemplation seems to be a distant dream; but I know that if I allow
God to make me small enough that He will give me what I actually need.
Through most of her life St. Therese could not understand atheism and what it
was like not to have faith. Towards the end of her life she experience the dark
night of the soul and finally did understand what it was like not to feel God’s
presence in faith or consolations. During her temptations against faith she
wrote:
“I strive to work by faith though bereft of
its consolations. I have made more acts of Faith in this last year than during
all the rest of my life”.
“On each fresh occasion of combat, when the enemy desires
to challenge me, I conduct myself valiantly: knowing that to fight a duel is an
unworthy act, I turn my back upon the adversary without ever looking him in the
face; then I run to my Jesus and tell Him I am ready to shed every drop of blood
in testimony of my belief that there is a Heaven, I tell Him I am glad to be
unable to contemplate, while on earth, with the eyes of the soul, the beautiful
Heaven that awaits me so He will deign to open it for eternity to poor
unbelievers.” –Story of A Soul, Chapter IX
Her first cousin married a man who was an atheist and her first cousin lost
her faith and Therese was devastated. She found this out about a month before
she died. Again, she offered her soul up, her body, for those who do not
believe. Thank you St. Therese for your prayers, example and teaching and I also
thank Louis and Zelie Martin for giving us this great Doctor of the
Church.
