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The Curt Jester

"It is the test of a good religion whether you can joke about it." GKC

Humor

A rapture I can hope for

by Jeffrey Miller March 31, 2008
written by Jeffrey Miller

The Crescat is holding a caption contest for a photo she has
but I doubt if anyone can top her “when liturgical dancers get
‘raptured’…” Though Sancte Pater has improved on the original
photo
for a good laugh.

March 31, 2008 2 comments
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Parody

Is the Pope a secret Trekkie?

by Jeffrey Miller March 31, 2008
written by Jeffrey Miller

Pope Trek

As a Trekkie the Pope has some work to do
on his “Live long and prosper” hand gesture.

Well as John C. Write wrote “If Vulcans
had a church, they’d be Catholics.” Though they might say instead “Live
long and proper and die in a state of grace.

Hat Tip to the
Shrine of the Holy Wrapping
for finding the original image
and wanting a Star Trek theme to go with it.

Plus maybe this explains the
pulpit, lectern, and chair design for the Pope’s visit to America.

Update: The Shrine of the Holy Whapping has a bunch of Pope Benedict Star Trek pictures.

March 31, 2008 8 comments
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Pro-life

This needs to be investigated

by Jeffrey Miller March 31, 2008
written by Jeffrey Miller

A story from The Catholic World Report available
at Ignatius Insight chronicles a policy paper put out by Catholic
Relief Services the charitable arm of the USCCB.  Their
position includes giving information on condom use and the report
chronicles tactics used by CRS against those who conscientiously object
to doing this.  Germain Grisez has provides a in depth report
on this that shows how they have taken some older documents from the
bishops out of context and that they are probably presenting one thing
to the donors and the bishops while their actual practice on this issue
has been along secular lines.

The authors believes that there needs to
be an investigation of CRS and concludes.

Since CRS is an agency of the United
States bishops, its officials should act as their agents. If CRS
officials have been pretending to follow the bishops� policy while
disregarding it, they have betrayed their responsibility and misled the
bishops. Any bishop would fire a real estate agent who did that to him.

As the bishops� agency, CRS acts in the person of the Church. CRS
officials should be managing a charitable apostolate of the Catholic
Church in the United States. But they have been distributing material
on which they have prohibited putting the CRS logo. If they are doing
what they cannot make clear that the Church is doing, how can they be
conducting a charitable apostolate in the Church�s name? But if and
insofar as they have not been conducting a charitable apostolate in the
Church�s name, they are betraying the Church herself�not only the
bishops but all the faithful, and even Jesus himself, the Church�s Head.

Moreover, it seems that some partners have been pressed to cooperate
despite their conscientious objections. Negative reactions of bishops
and churches in other countries seem to be regarded as a problem to be
dealt with rather than as expressions of conscientious judgment to be
respected.

Faithful Catholics who have donated to CRS in recent years for AIDS
relief did so because they expected the program to be carried out in a
distinctively Catholic way. Had they not expected this, they could have
donated to a secular organization fighting AIDS. If CRS officials have
used donations otherwise than they have led donors to expect, CRS
officials have misappropriated those funds.

Finally, even by secular standards, people encouraged to use condoms to
prevent the transmission of HIV have been ill-served. Genuine
charitable apostolate in regard to the prevention of HIV transmission
helps save lives but also does something infinitely more important,
namely, offers everyone it reaches help to rise from the life of this
corruption to the life that never dies. However, the opposite was
offered if, as it seems, people who should have received loving service
in the Church�s name were scandalized in the strict sense by being
encouraged to continue engaging�or worse, as early adolescents, to
begin engaging�in sinful sexual activity rather than to live chastely.

What has been going on at CRS must be investigated. The CRS board is
ultimately responsible for its operations. I urge the board to begin by
examining the items described in this article. The questions those
items raise suggest many further questions.

It does remind me of the line George Weigel recently used where he mentioned “salvation-through-latex approach to AIDS prevention.”

March 31, 2008 14 comments
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Pro-life

Quiver full of punishment

by Jeffrey Miller March 31, 2008
written by Jeffrey Miller

“Children are an heritage of the Lord: and
the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a
mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath
his quiver full of them”
Psalm 127:3-5 

Oh wait according to the
Gospel according to Obama
.

“Look, I got two daughters � 9 years
old and 6 years old,” he said. “I am going to teach them first about
values and morals, but if they make a mistake, I don’t want them
punished with a baby. I don’t want them punished with an STD at age 16,
so it doesn’t make sense to not give them information.”

Yes a quiver full of punishment and of
course today being the three year anniversary of Terri Schivo’s death
that Obama’s greatest regret in his years in the Senate was not voting
to contribute to the killing of her.

March 31, 2008 8 comments
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Pro-life

Planned Parenthood is making a killing

by Jeffrey Miller March 30, 2008
written by Jeffrey Miller

A new annual report from Planned
Parenthood shows the nation’s largest abortion business has made over
$1 billion in income for the first time in its history. The non-profit
pro-abortion group shows the historical gain in its new annual report
covering 2006-2007.
While Planned Parenthood made $972 milion in its 2005-2006 annual
report, last fiscal year it brought in $1.017 billion.

On its web site posting of the annual document, Planned Parenthood says
it “highlights our advancements in providing and protecting trusted
health care services and medically accurate sexuality education.”

Instead, the report finds Planned Parenthood doing more abortions than
ever before.

The report shows an increase in the number of provided abortions from
264,943 in 2005 to 289,650 in 2006.

Planned Parenthood reveals it has doubled �excess of revenue over
expenses� funds from $55.7 million in 2005 to $112 million in 2006.

Article

March 30, 2008 14 comments
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Parody

Official papal skateboard and more

by Jeffrey Miller March 30, 2008August 7, 2013
written by Jeffrey Miller

NEW YORK – One of the many gifts Pope Benedict will receive when he arrives in New York City next month will be a skateboard designed by a local child.

The Archdiocese of New York is holding a contest this spring to see who could design the best “Official Papal Skateboard” for the 80-year-old pontiff.

About 70 children entered the competition. A winner has yet to be picked.

The idea for the contest came from a youth skateboarding club at St. Elizabeth’s Church in Manhattan.

Article

American Papist previously posted on the contest for the official Papal Skateboard and you can see the individual submissions here.

Papal Skateboard Contest

Now you might see the idea of a skateboard contest for the Pope to be rather silly especially with the stereotype of skaters being rebellious, non-conforming youth. But the Pope receives lots of gifts he wouldn’t personally have much use for, but amazingly this is not true in this case and I have a world exclusive.

Pope on his Skateboard

The above is a never before seen picture showing the Pope coming off of a ramp at the secretive papal skateboard park.

Skate Monk

Word has it that it was after the Pope saw Br. Pio Maria of the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal performing and jumping over priests that he decided he would be interested in learning how to skateboard himself. Now we don’t have to worry about the Pope starting to include the number eight in words in his encyclicals, wearing baggy pants, and listening to skate punk; especially since he much prefers Mozart on his iPod while skateboarding

March 30, 2008August 7, 2013 12 comments
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News

Don't let the Pope see these

by Jeffrey Miller March 30, 2008
written by Jeffrey Miller

Gerald
and  Mike Aqualina have been reporting
on the six sermons by St. Augustine recently discovered in Erfurt
Germany.  I do hope that Pope Benedict does not hear about it
for a couple of more weeks.  Considering his love of St.
Augustine he might cancel his trip to the United States so that he can
pore over them or at the minimum being deep distracted considering them.

March 30, 2008 3 comments
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News

The promise of new life

by Jeffrey Miller March 29, 2008
written by Jeffrey Miller

Rich
Leonardi has a great story
published in this weeks edition of
this week’s Catholic Telegraph that features a story about ten
prisoners baptized by Archbishop Pilarczyk last weekend.

March 29, 2008 0 comment
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Punditry

The Wright Stuff

by Jeffrey Miller March 29, 2008
written by Jeffrey Miller

CHICAGO � Barack Obama�s former pastor,
who canceled several public events following an uproar over his
incendiary comments, surprised a Chicago congregation by attending an
event to celebrate poet Maya Angelou�s birthday.

The Rev. Jeremiah Wright got a raucous standing ovation when he entered
Saint Sabina church on the city�s South Side on Friday night, according
to video from WBBM-TV. Members yelled �Hallelujah!� as Wright embraced
the Rev. Michael Pfleger, Saint Sabina�s pastor.

The smiling Wright accepted an invitation to give the benediction at
the Roman Catholic church but did not address the furor over his past
sermons. He also sang �Happy Birthday� to Angelou, whose birthday is
April 4.

Well at least this wasn’t a Mass this occured in.  I guess Fr.
Pfleger is consistent since he has previously had one of Wright’s
heroes and anti-Semite Louis Farrakhan as a guest before also.
 So I guess inviting a pastor who is willing to reprint
writings from a Hamas terrorist in his bulletin ands said “The
government lied about inventing the HIV virus as a means of genocide
against people of color” Fr. Pfleger as public Obama supporter
finds no problems giving this preacher of hatred a forum. People like
to say that Wright’s sermons were cherry-picked, and they were in fact
cherry-picked since his church included Wright’s inflammatory sermons
in a sort of best of DVD in the first place.

There is a video here of Fr. Pfleger here
which includes saying to Rev. Wright “We thank God for you.”

March 29, 2008 9 comments
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Pro-life

Shameless garment

by Jeffrey Miller March 28, 2008
written by Jeffrey Miller

How do you tell the difference between a
pro-life Democrat and a pro-abortion one concerning presidential
politics?

Well if you have any kind of test let me
know since I can’t find one.

Catholic and “pro-life” Senator Bob Casey
Jr. has come out in support
of Sen. Obama.  Funny I thought the support of infanticide or
for someone whose greatest regret was that Terri Schiavo did not die
earlier was not exactly pro-life.  You learn something new
everyday.

As Todd M. Aglialoro noted at
Inside Catholic a major piece of irony.

Casey was quoted as saying he
favored Obama because the Illinois senator “thinks we shouldn’t be deaf
to the voices of the next generation.”

But there is no  lack of people
for who party trumps everything else.  There were the pro-life
Catholics who thought that Rudy Giuliani was da bomb and of course
Casey’s predecessor Sen. Santorum decided to support Sen Specter over
an actual pro-life candidate.

Now I am sure that Senator Casey would
explain himself using some variation of the seamless garment argument.
 Though I think for accuracy sake this should be renamed the
shameless garment argument  since many people who use it are
quite shameless in how they justify supporting pro-abortion politician
and measures.  Democrats who manage to see infinite shades of
gray for most moral issues see life issues as one solid color and
minimum wage can be of equal value as protecting the unborn.
 If hospitals treated people like the shameless garment
argument then people who stubbed their toe would be as likely to get
immediate attention as someone who had already lost near a gallon of
blood.  What we need is triage when it comes to the pro-life
cause and the unborn come first.

Deal Hudson writes:

If I had to decide who was more
pro-abortion, Obama or Clinton, it would be difficult since they each
have a 100% NARAL rating. I guess I would nod toward Obama since he
described his biggest “mistake” in politics voting to allow the parents
of Teri Schiavo to have their daughters case reviewed in court.

I suppose Prof. Doug Kmiec, who also endorsed Obama, will applaud the
decision of Sen. Casey, and offer to join Casey and Obama on their bus
trip across Pennsylvania.

They can write “Pro-Life Catholics for Obama” across the side of the
bus! That might provoke some laughter from even the starchiest of
Pennsylvanians.

Well the reality is that they have thrown
the pro-life cause under the bus.

In related news a special “Mass for Democrats”
to be celebrated at San Jose diocesan cathedral for a group called
“Catholic Democrats of California” whose web site specifically supports
abortion “rights”.

March 28, 2008 43 comments
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About Me

Jeff Miller is a former atheist who after spending forty years in the wilderness finds himself with both astonishment and joy a member of the Catholic Church. This award-winning blog presents my hopefully humorous and sometimes serious take on things religious, political, and whatever else crosses my mind.

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About Me

Jeff Miller is a former atheist who after spending forty years in the wilderness finds himself with both astonishment and joy a member of the Catholic Church. This award winning blog presents my hopefully humorous and sometimes serious take on things religious, political, and whatever else crosses my mind.
My conversion story
  • The Curt Jester: Disturbingly Funny --Mark Shea
  • EX-cellent blog --Jimmy Akin
  • One wag has even posted a list of the Top Ten signs that someone is in the grip of "motu-mania," -- John Allen Jr.
  • Brilliance abounds --Victor Lams
  • The Curt Jester is a blog of wise-ass musings on the media, politics, and things "Papist." The Revealer

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