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The Curt Jester

"It is the test of a good religion whether you can joke about it." GKC

Humor

Top Ten

by Jeffrey Miller July 30, 2008
written by Jeffrey Miller

Maureen at Aliens in This World come up
with the TOP
TEN CONTRADICTORY ATTITUDES OF THE SIXTIES BUNCH

10. Demonstrations and marches are good.
Eucharistic and saint-day processions are bad.

9. Incense at home to cover up that marijuana smell is good. Yay,
Sanskrit chant!
Incense in church to waft prayers to Heaven is bad. Boo, Gregorian
chant!

8. Renovating old houses and antiques to their original condition is
good.
Maintaining old churches in their original condition is bad.

7. Indoctrinating children from birth to love peace is good.
Baptizing children soon after birth, and teaching them the Christian
faith, is bad.

6. It’s good for kids to learn a second language. Bilingual education
is great.
It’s bad for kids to learn Latin. Teaching Mass parts in Latin or Greek
is abusive.

5. Early music is good, especially on the original instruments and for
its original purposes.
Early music in Mass is bad, especially on the original instruments and
for its original purposes.

4. Grassroots movements are good.
Grassroots traditional religious movements are bad.

3. Diversity and experimentation is good.
Diversity within religious tradition is bad.

2. Alternative lifestyle choices are good.
Chaste alternate lifestyle choices are bad.

And the number one contradictory attitude of the Sixties Bunch?

1. All life is sacred, and every person has worth and is good!
Babies we don’t want are bad.

To which I add my own list of ten in no particular order.

  • Being a consciousness objector is good
    A pharmacist being a consciousness objector is a bad thing
  • Having choice is a good thing
    Having more than one form of Mass in the Latin Rite is a bad thing.
  • We should help the poor in all cases
    A pro-life pregnancy center that helps poor women is a bad thing and in
    fact should have rigorous inspections unlike abortion clinics
  • Celebrating women is a good thing
    Devotions to Mary are a bad thing
  • We need lots of arts in the public square
    Actually having statues and beautiful things in a church is bad.
  • Using organic foods and being careful to avoid chemicals in
    your food is good.
    Not using chemical contraceptives is bad.
  • We are all one we must go beyond skin color.
    Whites adopting black children is bad.
  • Protest marches are good.
    Protesting in front of an abortion clinic is bad.
  • Vatican II was good.
    Following the documents of Vatican II is bad.
  • The laity getting more involved with the Church is good.
    Lay Catholic apologists are bad.
July 30, 2008 10 comments
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Punditry

Wants to be Pope Joan

by Jeffrey Miller July 30, 2008
written by Jeffrey Miller

Rich
Leonardi reports the latest news on the Sr.
Anne parish “Father” Joan pastoral administrator debacle.

The woman you are speaking about also
was seen wearing a t-shirt with an image of the nativity scene with one
major alteration – the words ‘Its a girl!’ and the Crucifix she wears
is different as well – the Corpus is not Christ, but clearly a woman.
She also shared in a meeting that she has been waiting since the 1970s
for the Church to ordain women and she thinks the time is finally upon
us. A letter is on the way to the Papal Nuncio’s office if it has not
yet arrived and attached are several signatures of eye-witnesses to
this nonsense.

Rich previously reported on what a now former  parishioner
had to say.

At the “third informational meeting”
held before she was officially acting as the administrator, she made 2
statements, in front of a good size representation of the congregation,
when asked if some of the previous traditional liturgical practices
would remain the same at Saint Anne’s. She replied, “I AM what I AM and
it IS what it IS”.

When asked about wanting to become a priest, she announced quite
boldly, “It is no secret that since 1975, I have wanted to become a
priest.” When asked by a parishoner if she understood that this was
against the acceptance of the Catholic Church, she told the parishoner
that he was “out of line”. This was very confusing to many of us, as we
still cannot figure out exactly what or who, it IS she THINKS she IS.

I wonder how many people in this diocese have the date of the Bishop’s
75th Clarks birthday memorized?

July 30, 2008 8 comments
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Punditry

They blinked

by Jeffrey Miller July 29, 2008
written by Jeffrey Miller

London, Jul. 28, 2008 (CNA/CWNews.com)
– The largest Catholic adoption agency in England and Wales has decided
to implement an adoption policy that does not rule out same-sex couples
in the face of new laws that forbid such screening. The change in its
adoption policy was made with the full support of the bishops who
oversee the agency.

The decision, made by the Catholic Children’s Society of Arundel and
Brighton, Portsmouth and Southwark (A&BSP) means the society
will not turn away any homosexual couples who present themselves as
potential adopters.

Terry Connor, chief executive of the society, explained to The Universe
that any changes would not start until January and were a direct result
of the recent Sexual Orientation Regulations which enforced “rights”
for same sex couples who wish to adopt.

The move will undoubtedly be seen as controversial in some quarters. In
January 2007, Cardinal Cormac Murphy-O’Connor wrote to the-then Prime
Minister Tony Blair suggesting that Catholic adoption agencies in
England and Wales would be forced to close down if they were not
allowed to opt out of new gay rights laws, which he said contradicted
Catholic teaching.

The cardinal said forcing people to act against their consciences would
mean discrimination on the grounds of belief, adding that it would be
an “unnecessary tragedy” if Catholic agencies were forced to
close. 

Remind me again why we have martyrs in the
Church?  I guess
caving to an unjust law is quite acceptable, hey what was St. Thomas
More thinking?

So much for what then-Cardinal Ratzinger
wrote in Considerations Regarding Proposals to Give
Legal  Recognition to Unions Between Homosexual Persons

As experience has shown, the absence of
sexual complementarity in these
unions creates obstacles in the normal development of children who
would be placed in the care of such persons. They would be deprived of
the experience of either fatherhood or motherhood. Allowing children to
be adopted by persons living in such unions would actually mean doing
violence to these children, in the sense that their condition of
dependency would be used to place them in an environment that is not
conducive to their full human development. This is gravely immoral and
in open contradiction to the principle, recognized also in the United
Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child, that the best interests
of the child, as the weaker and more vulnerable party, are to be the
paramount consideration in every case.

Article

July 29, 2008 27 comments
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HumorPunditry

Women "channels" Padre Pio

by Jeffrey Miller July 29, 2008
written by Jeffrey Miller

Blogger
Scott Waddell
sent me me a link to the following story.

Dottie Zimmerman is a 63-year-old
mother
of three, an award-winning religion teacher at a Toledo Catholic
school, a former Ursuline nun, and a director of the Children’s Theatre
Workshop.

For the last five years, Mrs. Zimmerman also says she has been
“channeling” Padre Pio, letting the dead Italian Catholic saint
mystically speak through her.

Last month, Mrs. Zimmerman channeled the saint during a meeting of the
Toledo Lightworkers Co-op, a group of people who explore alternative
spirituality.

It was the fifth or sixth time she has publicly channeled Padre Pio, a
Capuchin friar from Pietrelcina, Italy, who was known for bearing
stigmata, or the wounds of Christ, on his hands and feet. He died in
1968 at age 81 and was canonized by Pope John Paul II in 2002.

Why am I not surprised that an award
winning religion teacher at a Catholic school could even speak of using channeling in relation to Saint?   Or that she would do so for some new age group.

An eighth-grade religion teacher at St. Patrick of Heatherdowns School
for nearly 30 years, Mrs. Zimmerman said she felt as though spiritual
conversations had been percolating within her for years before she
began to explore her gift.

She had dismissed the voices as figments of her overactive imagination.

“I’m a very creative, right-brained person so this must be just me
imposing my imagination on situations,” she said. “That sounded logical
to me.”

I say go with your original instincts.
Now exactly what are these messages?

…”One of the things that he
insists is that we breathe deeply and we
laugh – love, laugh,”

…”All presidential elections are a reflection of
the way the world is at the moment. They all speak of change,” Mrs.
Zimmerman said while channeling. “So if you’re looking for change, you
have a wide path. They are all having their plans, their paths. Which
one do you feel comfortable with? That, my brother, is your choice and
I cannot tell you that.”

I think she channeled Obama by mistake.

…”But do know that there was no
accident that there was a female within
this, because her purpose was to open the awareness of the line of the
females, of the path of the females, not her particularly, but the path
of a female, that nurturing, that love aspect that is part of what goes
along with the term female.”

Yeah that really sounds like something
St. Padre Pio would say.

…Regarding the Sept. 11, 2001,
tragedy, Mrs. Zimmerman said while
channeling that everyone who “transitioned” that day went immediately
“home,” or into heaven, “including those who perpetrated this
particular incident. They didn’t have their 21 virgins in their party
but they were celebrated for three days in partying and love and
acceptance because they did what they thought they were supposed to do.”

Gee and I would have thought that the terrorists might spend at least 4
seconds in purgatory first.

This paragraph I have to admit is one
of the funniest I have ever read. Put down your drink cups – you have
been warned.

“In this dream I kept seeing a Merlin
character,” she said. “… So he
[Mr. Uhl] said if he’s reoccurring that much, there’s some energy there
that we need to look into, and he gave me a couple exercises where in
fact I would start asking Merlin what he meant or why this happened in
the dream. … And I would write answers, and it’s like the answers would
just come automatically. … Well, pretty soon I couldn’t write fast
enough, they were just going in the computer, and then one day he just
says to me, ‘You know, I am not Merlin. I am Padre Pio.'”

Natural mistake many people make.  They both had these robes
you know.

Mrs. Zimmerman said she channels other
spirits besides Padre Pio.

Every Saturday, for example, she channels her mother, who died two
years ago, by typing out a letter to her surviving father, which she
has collected in a looseleaf binder. “He really looks forward to it
because he misses her so dreadfully,” she said.

She also channels her late husband, John, who “crossed over” 16 years
ago.

I guess she has a party line.

Now I don’t intend to mock this deluded
women who needs our prayers, but what I find so interesting is the
straight reporting on this.  I wonder if somebody was actually
getting locutions form St. Padre Pio and the messages included
references to abortion and the culture of death how the story would be
dealt with? Somehow I think the story would be reported quite
differently with quite a different tone.

July 29, 2008 23 comments
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Punditry

Contrast

by Jeffrey Miller July 29, 2008
written by Jeffrey Miller

In contrast to the rest of the writers for the National Catholic Reporter, John Allen Jr. turns in a good column on Humanae Vitae for the New York TImes.

A reader points to the comment section at Commonweal on this article. Pretty sad that a reporter being faithful to Church teaching is so derided.

I am a bit surprised that John Allen’s Sunday Times op-ed has not yet occasioned comment at dotCom. I found it disappointing and, at points, quite strange-I’ll try to say more about why later. In the meantime, pop over to Pontifications for David Gibson’s astute analysis:

Yes not being a dissident on contraception is “disappointing” and “quite strange” for the Commonweal crowd. I guess following Vatican II and giving “Religious submission of mind and of will” to this teaching is not for “thinking” Catholics. David Gibson’s astute analysis is nothing of the kind but pablum. When you have to refer to Steinfell and McBrien you know you are on shaky ground.

July 29, 2008 4 comments
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Punditry

"Lived experience"

by Jeffrey Miller July 28, 2008
written by Jeffrey Miller

Father Z does an excellent fisk of
a editorial from the National Catholic Reporter staff marking the 40th
anniversary of Humanae Vitae.  As you would expect they didn’t
break out a birthday cake to celebrate this anniversary, but snipe at
it instead. Like most gutless progressives they never actually deny the
teaching they just try to give it the death of a thousand cuts by
trying to undermine how the encyclical happened and then the reaction to
it.

So the great theological reasoning they
give us is polling.  As I have said before the only poll in
the New Testament only Peter got it right and he had help.
 Once again we get the whole “lived experience” thing as if
this is any kind of criteria that has ever been used in the history of
Christendom.  Should we appeal to the lived experience of the
Church when many of it’s members had fallen into Arianism?
 Hey many Catholics are not much into sacrificial giving and
the preferential love of the poor so I guess we should dump these ideas
because of the lived experience.  When it comes to the
teaching Jesus gave us on adultery there is as NCR would put it “a gulf
between official church teachings and Catholic practice.”  How
about loving our enemies?  Once again the “lived experience”
of Catholics does not match the doctrine.

So I guess we need to stop giving to the
needy, that we don’t need to love the poor and we can wish ill for our
enemies.  Plus since we don’t love one another as Christ has
loved us we also don’t have to love one another to a a more perfected
degree.  Most people do not pick up their crosses daily, but
try to run from them so we can throw that doctrine on the fire along
with the others. Hey Christianity gets easier and easier to practice
everyday.  Just dump the doctrines that are difficult and it
is suprisingly easy.

“The Christian ideal has not been tried
and found wanting; it has been found difficult and left untried.” –
G.K. Chesterton

But for the National Catholic Reporter it
is the negative reaction and living apart from Church teaching that is
the criteria as to whether a doctrine is true or not.  Not
scripture, apostolic tradition, nor the magisterium – but polling.
 Gallop eccelesiology is rather a strange view of how the
Church arrives at her doctrines.

The dishonesty of their article is
staggering.  They set up a strawman argument that was a parady
of what Pope Paul Vi said and then say that it was the main thrust of
the encyclical.  They describe everything in terms of power as
most dissidents see the Church.  They never address the
predictions that the encyclical made and have all come true.
 No mention of the state  of family life since the
wide-spread use of contraceptives. No mention of the further
degradation of women.  I guess the breakdown of the family and
increased divorce is beneath the notice of the NCR.  Though
rampant divorce and destruction of the family is not the “lived
experience” so now I guess should become doctrine.

July 28, 2008 12 comments
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HumorLink

Liberation Theology Exterminate!

by Jeffrey Miller July 28, 2008
written by Jeffrey Miller

The latest Holy Whapping Television Network (HWTN) programming guiide.

July 28, 2008 1 comment
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Blog Announcement

PickAFig?

by Jeffrey Miller July 28, 2008
written by Jeffrey Miller

There is an interesting new Catholics
social networking bookmarking
site called PickAFig
(no idea about the name) that sort of like digg to allow you to submit
stories and to have others vote on them.  The interface needs
some work but it pretty much brand new.  It would be nice for
it to work out so users of it can tag news stories and blog posts that
will be of interest to other Catholics.

Kathy Shaidle linked to this today.
 I say congratulations to
the first Catholic blogger who today celebrates eight years of blogging
that started at RelapsedCatholic and continues at
Five Feet of Fury
.

July 28, 2008 4 comments
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Punditry

Desecration

by Jeffrey Miller July 27, 2008
written by Jeffrey Miller

Last week biology professor P.Z. Myers
desecrated the Eucharist by
first piercing it with a rusty nail (well we pierced Jesus with a nail
before) and then tossed it in a garbage can and covered it with coffee
grounds and a banana peel.

Catholics for the most part have responded
by praying for the man and
committing themselves to doing reparations for the desecration of the
Eucharist. We don’t issue fatwas though we might understandably write
letters to the state university he is employed by for violating their
conduct code. Even if we see him as an attention grabbing jerk he is
still a person in the image of the God he denies and out of love for
him we pray for his conversion.  In fact the first comment on
his blog entry was “May God have mercy on your soul.”

He mocks what we know is sacred out of a
misguided materialist view and our of a faith in science that he wants
to have answer more than it can answer. Dr. Anthony Rizzi who is a
physicist writes in his outstanding book The
Science Before Science: A Guide to Thinking in the 21st Century
about the
tunnel vision that
scientists often develop in their empiro-metric view of the world.
 For them philosophy is not a science at all though they live
by philosophy of scientism.  Out of ignorance they don’t know
that modern science grew out of Christianity and that it was clergy and
Catholic layman that were behind so many discoveries that further
developed the scientific method.  They forget that it is
because of our non-material intellect that we can even do science to
investigate the material world in the first place.

Since Mr. Myers has so little appreciation
of Catholics since we are so stupid and he is so superior I though was
would someone as stupid as myself do to get back at Mr. Myers for this
desecration.  I though hey “An eye for an eye” and all of
that.  So what might a biology professor like P.Z. Myers hold
sacred?  I though obviously a microscope since without it his
field would not have gone very far.   So I asked my readers if
somebody could provide me with a microscope and one person slipped me
one

microscope

To show that this device has no power of
its own without a non-material intellect I first pierced it with a
rusty nail, and then desecrated it with holy water since obviously a
practice such as that offends scientism.  I then tossed it in
the trash with a banana peel.

Desecrated microscope

Science did not prevent me from doing any
of this and the microscope and every other tool is just a construct of
our immaterial intellects. So free yourself from scientism  
The scientific method is itself a being of reason and not
provable
by the scientific method.  The
empiro-metric method while quite useful for studying the
intelligibility of the world comes short when it come to ontology.
Ontological question are aided by these branches of science but the
empiro-metric view can’t be used to prove ontological questions.
 The three layers of abstraction Metaphysical, Mathematica,
and Physica are not at odds to each other and we need to return to the
view that theology is the queen of the sciences, though this does not
change the importance of the other sciences.  Faith vs.
science is a silly debate when there is not a “versus” only an “and.”

By the way I do highly recommend The
Science Before Science: A Guide to Thinking in the 21st Century
which I
recently read. It is a great introduction both to philosophy and how it
relates to the sciences.  A densely packed read, but highly
worthwhile.

July 27, 2008 32 comments
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Book Review

Soul in the City

by Jeffrey Miller July 27, 2008
written by Jeffrey Miller

Soul and the City is a book by Marcy
Heidisk which subtitles itself “Finding God in the Noise and Frenzy of
Life.” This is certainly a worthwhile and much needed topic when the
spiritual life is often drowned out by just pure busyness and activity
after activity.  This book though is both hit and miss in
giving answers to this topic.  Where the book succeeds is when
the author describes the struggles of people she knows to life a
spiritual life.  Especially good were some of the stories from
when she worked in a homeless shelter of the people within and their
efforts at living a life of prayer.  This book comes under the
category of “Christian Living” and so is rather generic when it comes
to a specific charism of spirituality.  The author seems
widely read among Catholic and Protestant sources and much of the
advice given is solid such as working to see Christ in others among the
busy streets.  Of seeking quiet and simplicity while also
giving of yourself to others.  Not exactly surprising themes
and mostly an application of the Gospel in the specific context of city
life. 

I found most of the advice as being too
generic such as visiting museums and cultural events to nourish the
spiritual life.  Certainly seeking beauty through the arts is
quite necessary, but she offers no caveats as to the type of art we
will often run into in modern life.   My main complaint with
the book is that it is rather too broad.  While it does not
fall into the “I am spiritual, but not religious” trap, inadvertently
it comes close to it when it speak of spirituality.  While
certainly the book is Christian spirituality to me at times
spirituality comes before Christ.  The chapters of the book
are also rather inverted in that worship Of God and gratitude for his
grace are the last two chapters in the book. Though there are
references to the Gospels throughout and the Psalms.

Despite these deficiencies I would have
seen this book as somewhat worthwhile for beginners in a life of pray
but for the references to centering prayer.  The author
herself recommends it and quotes Fr. Pennington throughout the book.
 Maybe this explains the shallow spirituality of the book.
 Centering prayer can turn into self-centering prayer and
their are plenty of horror stories of disaster to someone’s prayer life
who have entered into this type of prayer as it can become a form of
self-hypnosis.  Not that everybody will have problems such as
these since some just practice centering prayer as a form of quieting
yourself to enter into prayer.  I also wondered throughout the
book exactly whether the author was Catholic. Lutheran, or some other
form of Protestanti.  She seem to go to Mass and other
services on a regular basis and this adds to generic spirituality of
the book.

Also lacking was any concept of growing in
holiness, of overcoming faults, and personal sin which is a major fault
for any book addressing this topic.  A growing love of God and
neighbor will only highlight our own faults and advancement in the life
of prayer requires more than the simple advice this book gives.
 I also found that this book needed some editing since I
sometimes found mistakes in it such as using “Jesus’s” for the
possessive.  In fact one mistake in the book had me laughing.

“Holy people aren’t necessarily found
among the canonized saints.”

I don’t want to pile on in this review,
but the book left me unsatisfied.  Here was a great premise of
Soul in the City as a play on Sex in the City and giving what could
have been a popular treatment of the spiritual life in Christ amongst
the hustle and bustle of everyday life.  A promise made but not fulfilled.

July 27, 2008 2 comments
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About Me

Jeff Miller is a former atheist who after spending forty years in the wilderness finds himself with both astonishment and joy a member of the Catholic Church. This award-winning blog presents my hopefully humorous and sometimes serious take on things religious, political, and whatever else crosses my mind.

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About Me

Jeff Miller is a former atheist who after spending forty years in the wilderness finds himself with both astonishment and joy a member of the Catholic Church. This award winning blog presents my hopefully humorous and sometimes serious take on things religious, political, and whatever else crosses my mind.
My conversion story
  • The Curt Jester: Disturbingly Funny --Mark Shea
  • EX-cellent blog --Jimmy Akin
  • One wag has even posted a list of the Top Ten signs that someone is in the grip of "motu-mania," -- John Allen Jr.
  • Brilliance abounds --Victor Lams
  • The Curt Jester is a blog of wise-ass musings on the media, politics, and things "Papist." The Revealer

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