The Anchoress noticed that Tod Worner — following the recent Pew report on diminishing Catholic numbers, and the glee that inspired in some corners — decided to write a post on why he will not be leaving the Catholic church. Organically this grew by with additional posts from other Catholic bloggers and Elizabeth Scailia started posting links to these here. Her own entry here.
I’ve been tempted to add to the plethora of posts on why you are staying in the Church. My problem is that I am tempted toward pride in regard to this. For example saying “Because it is true”, while accurate for me is also an intellectual pride. “I am intelligent enough to follow the truth!” Totally bypassing the role of grace. That I believe because God gave me the sufficient grace despite all my shortcomings. Certainly their is cooperation in grace, but God moved me first.
Years ago I wrote a post about “Conversion and Mr. Magoo.” Mr. Magoo always ended up at the correct destination, but despite his own endeavors in reaching the end. He was clumsy and totally without an innate understanding of the world around him. He confused things for what they are with something else. Still he ended up at the right place. If that isn’t a metaphor for my conversion I don’t know what is.
Once I was foolish enough to think “I read myself into the Church.” That it was intellectual arguments alone that lead me to the truth. Sure it was the overwhelming truth of the faith I found everywhere I looked, but I was led to this with “sheer grace” as St. John of the Cross would say. Still I also appreciate the both/and aspects of the faith. God gave me the grace of faith and also the intellect to be able to see the truths of the faith (eventually). Other bloggers have written convincingly on these truths and the orchestral nature of these truths.
One quote from St. Joan of Arc during her trial concerned “Are you in a state of grace”? Her reply was “If I am not, may God place me there; if I am, may God so keep me”. A truth of humility I strive for and know I miss the mark. Yet am also thankful that I am self-aware enough through grace that I miss the mark.
So why would I not ever leave the faith? Mr. Magoo arrived at the right destination and he could not credit himself for this. I hope to equally stumble towards heaven. That despite my continuous blunders I arrive at the only destination that matters. Plus despite the Mr. Magoo reference it is not blind faith. With St. Peter I say “Where would I go Lord, you have the word of everlasting life.”
Funny how I intended to write a sentence as to my own pride and why I am staying in the Church and ended up writing a post on the subject anyway. I just hope that I did not point to myself, but to the persons of the Holy Spirit and the grace I have received.