Chevy Chase: Weekend Update recognizes its obligation to present responsible opposing viewpoints to our editorials. Here to reply to a recent editorial, is Emily Litella.
Emily Litella: What is is with story after story that birds flew. Bird flew this and Bird flew that? Why all the the scary stories of birds that flew and then jumping on the human population? Has Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds had a revival now and people are suffering from paranoid feelings against birds? Of course birds flew what did they think that all birds were like ostriches? People need to get out more and stop watching television. If they did that they would know birds flew and they could see it for themselves everyday in the skies.
Chevy Chase: Miss Litella?
Emily Litella: Yes?
Chevy Chase: The stories are about bird flu or avian influenza which is called the H5N1 virus which is highly contagious among bird and fatal and can be spread to humans. Additionally the stories mentioned that Asian virus could mutate and jump to humans not that birds jump on humans.
Emily Litella: Oh. I’m sorry. Never mind.