Are you suffering from mild to severe conscience pangs? Are there blockages in your moral life? Are you selfish and uncharitable? If you answer yes to one or more of these questions you might be suffering from hardening of the heart. This is an extremely serious condition and you must go to the right doctor immediately. If not correctly treated immediately upon death you might suffer something far worse than just heart burn, though burn is an apt metaphor.
Hi, I am Jesus the Divine Physician! Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick; I came not to call the righteous, but sinners and that means you. I specialize in hardened hearts and will have your moral life up and running in no time. I will give you a new heart and place a new spirit within you, taking from your bodies your stony hearts and giving you natural hearts. Stony heart replacement surgery is 100 percent effective. Don’t fall for conscience bypass surgeries that promise you will feel better by simply bypassing your conscience. Instead get to the root or should I say heart of your real problem. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. I knowest the hearts of all men so who is better to perform stony heart replacement surgery than myself? I am also able to cure moral blindness so that you might not fall in a pit.
This is no miracle cure, though I am experienced in that field too, but a call to repentance and trust in my most merciful heart. All things are possible to him who believes. Repentance is perfectly natural with no adverse side effects and your natural heart will be pumping the blood of charity in no time. I don’t promise the lack of pain or the cross, in fact the cross is part of the treatment; so that you made be made perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect. Your outpatient treatment must continue through the rest of your life, but you will have joy and gladness as you receive the good news.
I am available 24/7 and I have a great cloud of witnesses on my staff who are also available at all hours of the day. I would be remiss not to mention the Holy Spirit also on staff. In fact when you hire me you get the Father and the Holy Spirit too. Three for the price of one and being that prayer does not rely on land lines or cell towers we are always available at the bend of a knee. My mother who is a good Jewish mother is also on call and will take just as good of care you as she did for me. So why wait? Act now since you have nothing to lose but your soul! Do you think that your are not strong enough for treatment? Don’t be afraid. My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.
Are you rich or poor in spirit? It makes not matter to me since all can call upon my name and my services are absolutely free because I already paid your price on the cross. Some begrudge my generosity, but I am always available to you at any part of your life – start , middle, or the end. Call on me and endure to the end and I will save you through grace.
* cross posted at Spero News
But it’s “stony”.
Maureen, nitpick chick
“Come to me, all you who are weary….”
What a great post. We need to be reminded He makes house calls.
Jeff, I am a new blogger. Permission to use this post on my sight?
I mean site.
scriptural and Marian!
Gosh, if only all doctors could be this good. My Dad just found out he has cancer of the spine. I would think he would like reading this, especially when he’s feeling down. Great job Jeff.
One of your best. The photo had me doing a double take.
Is Dr. Jesus wearing a Rolex in that picture? I hope it’s not a knock off or the end of time may be coming sooner than we all think!
Go ahead and welcome to St. Blogs. It is always nice to see a frequent commenter make the step.
This Doctor Is Always “In”
One of my favorite stops in the ‘blogosphere…
Isn’t that Lorenzo Lamas???
I thought it was that dude from thirtysomething.
What I want to know is why is Jesus wearing a ladies lab coat?
How REAL! When is man going to wake up from his narcotic somnambulism and face the fact that the spiritual dimension exists. The difference between an animal and man is that an animal knows via conditioning, but a man knows that he knows. This reflective process is spiritual, my friends!!!!!!!
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