It seems now that every time I go to Mass I hear a cell phone ringing during it. Then there is the inevitable people looking around to see who has made this faux paus during Mass. Some Mexican parishes have bought devices that basically cause an electronic interdict so that cell phones can not work within their operating range. This got me thinking about some other ideas that could be useful for this problem. How about custom ring tones that won’t cause this embarrassment?
- The "And also with you" or for the Latin Mass "Et cum spíritu tuo" ring tone. This is a lot less embarrassing to have these responses even at the wrong time. People might just think that they are newbies.
- For Charismatic Catholic Masses or some Protestant services the "Alleluia" or "Amen" ring tone. This ring tone won’t even be noticed.
- Then there is the universal ring tone for Catholics/Protestants/Unitarians of someone snoring.
I have also been thinking about another product. One of my problems when praying or doing spiritual reading is that my mind starts to wander (instead of engaging in wonder) or to come up with related comedy. Much to my chagrin some of my parodies have come to me while meditating. I guess I engage in Comedy Contemplation and instead of the mystical life my mind ponders the hysterical life – which instead of making me a mystic I become a hystic instead. The month of October is special to me since I am a Secular Discalced Carmelite and reading the writings of St. John of the Cross I got to thinking about the "Dark night of the soul." What if something could be made to help those who have progressed in the interior castles and our experiencing this. Here is a possible solution.
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Dark Night of the Soul Night Light
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Off
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On
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The light automatically come on if it detects you are experiencing spiritual dryness. When you are treading the path of the dark night with aridity and purgation the soul – the Dark Night of the Soul Night Light shines immediately. Otherwise when walking around your house in sensory night you might trip and fall.
You can read the online translation of the owner’s manual here.
3 comments
Well, I certainly like this better than the Jesus-with-sheep night lights I found at the dollar store. Oh, and they had Immaculate Heart ones too. They were kinda creepy–especially the pink ones.
Would it be wrong to grab a person’s ringing cell phone during Mass, throw it on the ground and stomp on it? Would that be creating too much of a scene?
Jeff,
Deep sympathy; sometimes it seems like a daily period of distractions interrupted by random spurts of meditation.
Billy,
Yes, that would be way too much of a scene. That’s what the new, larger baptismal fonts are for. Plunk ’em right in there and problem solved. No nasty broken electronic parts all over the floor.
Cheers,
-John-