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The Curt Jester

"It is the test of a good religion whether you can joke about it." GKC

The Weekly Francis

The Weekly Francis – Volume 516

by Jeffrey Miller August 1, 2024August 1, 2024
written by Jeffrey Miller
pope-francis2-300x187

The Weekly Francis is a compilation of the Holy Father’s writings, speeches, etc., which I also cross-post on Jimmy Akin’s blog.

This version of The Weekly Francis covers material released in the last week, from 27 June 2024 to 30 July 2024.

Angelus

  • 21 July 2024 – Angelus
  • 28 July 2024 – Angelus

Messages

  • 27 June 2024 – Message of the Holy Father for the Olympic Games

Speeches

  • 30 July 2024 – To Participants in the XIII International Pilgrimage of Altar Servers to Rome

Papal Instagram

  • Franciscus
August 1, 2024August 1, 2024 0 comment
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Humor

Sacramental Disposal, LLC

by Jeffrey Miller July 18, 2024July 18, 2024
written by Jeffrey Miller

Many people who have been Catholic for a length of time come to have a similar problem. Just what do you do with all the blessed sacramentals you have accumulated that have seen better days?

You have worn a scapular so long that you can no longer tell which image is the front or the back or it has become so tattered that it is basically now a string.

Your cat or your own clumsiness has knocked over a statue so many times that the hands, arms, and even the head are reattached multiple times with superglue.

You have a drawer full of rosary parts from broken rosaries you are going to get around to fix one day.
Or perhaps the crucifixes broken and now accidentally a Tau cross and you’re not a Franciscan. Or the ones where, apparently, Jesus answered the mocking Pharisees by coming down from the Cross.

Then there are the tarnished and corroded religious medals that you’re keeping around or will clean up later.

So exactly what do you do about this?

Eventually, sacramentals wear down. Crucifixes break, as do rosaries. Candles burn out, and scapulars tear. If a sacramental reaches a state where it is beyond repair or its effective use, the object should be disposed of properly. Even in a tattered state, the object has been blessed by the Church and should be treated correctly, even in private possession.

The proper way to dispose of a sacramental is to burn it or bury it. Not only do these methods of disposal show the correct reverence, but they prevent the sacramental from falling into the wrong hands and from desecration—the loss of a particular quality of sacredness. Sacramentals are desecrated by abusive behavior, crude use, or destruction to the point of being unusable. Even desecrated sacramentals, to maintain the reverence due to them, should be disposed of in the ways laid out above. Shaun McAfee, Catholic Answers magazine

Not everyone has the property to bury blessed sacramentals or burning a large amount of them might require a bonfire not allowed by your apartment manager or HOA.

That is why we here at Sacramental Disposal, LLC have developed the perfect product for Catholics serious about their faith with a serious amount of blessed sacramentals to be disposed.

Introducing the “My Mount Doom” the ultimate burning solution for all your toughest blessed sacramentals. Inspired by the legendary forge of the One Ring, this compact, high-powered device brings unparalleled melting capabilities.

My Mount Doom

Key Features:

Extreme Heat Generation

• Capable of reaching temperatures up to 5,000°C, My Mount Doom can burn virtually any material, including metal, plaster, and even certain ceramics. Even those beads of uncertain material!

Compact and Portable

• Designed for convenience, this device is lightweight and easily transportable, making it perfect for both clergy and lay use. Its compact size allows for easy storage and handling.

User-Friendly Interface

Even if you have been on a long dangerous trek with your best friend and are not only sleep-deprived and almost despairing, you can operate the intuitive digital control panel to adjust and monitor sacramental disposal in real time.

Safety First

Our advanced finger detection technology will make sure you don’t lose a finger trying to dispose of an item. If an accident occurs, press the Gondor Emergency Button (Pat. Pend) to have Great Eagles dispatched to your location.

Available Now

Accept no substitutes or other inferior products and order your My Mount Doom today at your local Catholic Book Store. Plus, while you are there, you can pick up replacement sacramentals to have blessed later.

July 18, 2024July 18, 2024 0 comment
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The Weekly Francis

The Weekly Francis – Volume 515

by Jeffrey Miller July 18, 2024July 18, 2024
written by Jeffrey Miller
pope-francis2-300x187

The Weekly Francis is a compilation of the Holy Father’s writings, speeches, etc., which I also cross-post on Jimmy Akin’s blog.

This version of The Weekly Francis covers material released in the last week, from 29 June 2024 to 15 July 2024.

Angelus

  • 7 July 2024 – Pastoral Visit to Trieste’ Angelus
  • 14 July 2024 – Angelus

Homilies

  • 7 July 2024 – Pastoral Visit to Trieste’ Eucharistic Concelebration

Messages

  • 29 June 2024 – Message of the Holy Father to mark the 1500th anniversary of the cult of the venerated image of Saint Mary in Portico (Romanae Portus Securitatis)

Speeches

  • 7 July 2024 – Pastoral Visit to Trieste’ Address of the Holy Father
  • 15 July 2024 – To the Participants in the Chapters of’ Clerics of Saint Viator, Clerics Regular Minor, Minims, Augustinian Sisters of Divine Love, Reparatrix Sisters of the Sacred Heart and in the Provincial Chapter

Papal Instagram

  • Franciscus
July 18, 2024July 18, 2024 0 comment
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The Weekly Francis

The Weekly Francis – Volume 514

by Jeffrey Miller July 11, 2024July 11, 2024
written by Jeffrey Miller
pope-francis2-300x187

The Weekly Francis is a compilation of the Holy Father’s writings, speeches, etc., which I also cross-post on Jimmy Akin’s blog.

This version of The Weekly Francis covers material released in the last week, from 24 June 2024 to 10 July 2024.

Apostolic Letter

  • 1 July 2024 – Statutes of the ‘Pope’s Worldwide Prayer Network’ Vatican Foundation (1st July 2024)

Messages

  • 29 June 2024 – Message of the Holy Father on the occasion of the IV Centenary of the discovery of the Relics of Saint Rosalia
  • 10 July 2024 – Message of the Holy Father to the Participants in the ‘AI Ethics for Peace’ Gathering [Hiroshima, 9–10 July 2024]

Speeches

  • 24 June 2024 – To the Members of the ‘Circolo San Pietro’
  • 26 June 2024 – To a delegation from the Bologna Mosque

Papal Instagram

  • Franciscus
July 11, 2024July 11, 2024 0 comment
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TL;DH (Too Long;Didn’t Hear)
Parody

TL;DH (Too Long;Didn’t Hear)

by Jeffrey Miller July 5, 2024July 5, 2024
written by Jeffrey Miller

Pope Francis recently appealed once again about the length of homilies.

And the homily, that comment by the celebrant, must help to transfer the Word of God from the book to life. But for this, the homily must be brief: an image, a thought and a sentiment. The homily must not go on for more than eight minutes, because after that, with time attention is lost and the people fall asleep, and they are right. A homily must be like that. And I want to say this to priests, who talk a lot, very often, and one does not understand what they are talking about. A brief homily: a thought, a sentiment and a cue for action, for what to do. No more than eight minutes. Because the homily must help transfer the Word of God from the book to life. General Audience, 12 June 2024

If your parish is looking for maximum parish engagement, we here are Homilelectrics have a range of devices to reign in long homilies and people falling asleep. This is more than a problem where people lose interest. It is also a public danger, as St. Paul found out.

On the first day of the week, when we were gathered together to break bread, Paul talked with them, intending to depart on the next day, and he prolonged his speech until midnight. There were many lamps in the upper room where we were gathered. And a young man named Eutychus, sitting at the window, sank into a deep sleep as Paul talked still longer. And being overcome by sleep, he fell down from the third story and was taken up dead.  But Paul went down and bent over him, and taking him in his arms, said, “Do not be alarmed, for his life is in him.” (Acts 20:7–10)

Introducing Collar ID

Our Collar ID models identify and synchronize with the priest wearing it.

Key Features:

  • Integrated LED Lights: Multiple LED lights are not just for aesthetics; they serve a crucial function in maintaining the ideal length of your homily. Color of LED lights can be set to automatically follow the color of the days liturgical celebration.
  • Homily Duration Warning: The Collar ID is equipped with a subtle yet effective warning system. If your homily extends beyond the optimal time, the LED lights will gently pulse and vibrate, providing a discreet cue to yourself and those in the pew that you need to wrap up your homily.
  • Analytics and Phone Integration: Track homily content metrics over time tied to biometrics devices to help increase engagement/bore ratios.
  • Sustainable Battery Technology: The Collar ID is recharged with our USB-Cleric adapter that uses beeswax or a range of vegetable oils, including the traditional olive oil as the power source.
  • Enhanced Homily Interrogation: Parishes can also opt for an enhanced model to help priests who just can’t break the “too long homily” problem. A shock collar option can provide a series of increased training modes. 40 training levels include beep (1–8), vibration (1–12), shock (1–20).

Phone App

The Collar Id App is available for iPhone and Android.

Features

  • Gives parishioners maximum ability for feedback along with seeing other’s feedback. Just because the homily wasn’t helpful to you on this occasion does not mean that this was true for others.
  • Provides real-time Cleric Caption (CC) to help translate too unnecessarily erudite or overly simplified homilies.
  • Log the impactful portions of the homily that got through to you. Just because you heard something a 100 times, does not mean you actually heard the message.
  • Access biometric indicators such as heart rate and Galvanic Skin Response (GSR).
    • Was the introduction joke really as funny or necessary as the priest thought it was?
    • Measure engagement of an aggregate of the congregation with data integrity, removing anomalous results.
    • How many times did the parishioner look at their watch or phone to see what time it is?
    • Was the parishioner developing pew sores because of the homily’s length?
  • Anonymized data analysis to be used by clerics to help with their homiletic skills. End-to-end-encryption is used to ensure the privacy of feedback made. Although a data leak can occur when a well-known complainer about everything is deduced.

Included are community building features just for fun!

  • For Laetare and Gaudete Sunday, rate the color of the rose vestments used.
    • Access camera to identify matches against the rose color palette.
  • On Trinity Sunday test your knowledge of the Councils of Nicaea and Chalcedon definitions and how many heretical analogies were used in the homily.
July 5, 2024July 5, 2024 0 comment
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The Weekly Francis

The Weekly Francis – Volume 513

by Jeffrey Miller July 4, 2024July 4, 2024
written by Jeffrey Miller
pope-francis2-300x187

The Weekly Francis is a compilation of the Holy Father’s writings, speeches, etc., which I also cross-post on Jimmy Akin’s blog.

This version of The Weekly Francis covers material released in the last week, from 21 June 2024 to 30 June 2024.

Angelus

  • 29 June 2024 – Angelus, Solemnity of the Holy Apostles Peter and Paul
  • 30 June 2024 – Angelus

Apostolic Letter

  • 21 June 2024 – Apostolic Letter issued ‘Motu Proprio’ ‘Fratello Sole’ by the Supreme Pontiff Francis

Homilies

  • 29 June 2024 – Holy Mass and blessing of the Pallium for the new Metropolitan Archbishops on the Solemnity of Saints Peter and Paul

Speeches

  • 28 June 2024 – To the Participants at the General Chapter of the Society of the Divine Word (Verbites)
  • 28 June 2024 – To the Delegation of the Ecumenical Patriarchate of Constantinople

Papal Instagram

  • Franciscus
July 4, 2024July 4, 2024 0 comment
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A Shop Mark Would Like
HumorScripture

A Shop Mark Would Like

by Jeffrey Miller June 30, 2024June 30, 2024
written by Jeffrey Miller

Considering today’s Gospel, if I had an investor, I would create this business.

Every meal in this sandwich shop would cost $12. Exception would be a free meal for those who had spent all their money on physicians.

There would also be the Talitha cumi special, which you couldn’t tell anybody about.

Plus, all sandwiches would be delivered “immediately.”


If you are unfamiliar with the term “Markan sandwich.”

Mark’s ordering of the events may be chronological. However, Mark also has a special way of ordering material, which scholars call the “Markan sandwich.” A sandwich occurs when Mark interrupts one story with another before returning to the first. This allows Mark to contrast the two stories so that they shed light on each other. Jimmy Akin

June 30, 2024June 30, 2024 0 comment
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The Weekly Francis

The Weekly Francis – Volume 511

by Jeffrey Miller June 20, 2024June 20, 2024
written by Jeffrey Miller
pope-francis2-300x187

The Weekly Francis is a compilation of the Holy Father’s writings, speeches, etc., which I also cross-post on Jimmy Akin’s blog.

This version of The Weekly Francis covers material released in the last week, from 14 June 2024 to 20 June 2024.

Angelus

  • 16 June 2024 – Angelus

General Audiences

  • 19 June 2024 – General Audience – Cycle of Catechesis. The Spirit and the Bride. The Holy Spirit guides the people of God towards Jesus our hope. 4. The Spirit teaches the Bride to pray. The Psalms,

Speeches

  • 14 June 2024 – Participation of the Holy Father Francis at the G7 in Borgo Egnazia (Puglia)
  • 14 June 2024 – Pope Francis meets figures from the world of comedy from various parts of the world
  • 15 June 2024 – To Managing Directors and Employees of Major Companies and Banks
  • 20 June 2024 – To participants at the Conference organized by the Vatican Observatory
  • 20 June 2024 – To the Lutheran World Federation

Papal Instagram

  • Franciscus
June 20, 2024June 20, 2024 0 comment
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The Weekly Francis

The Weekly Francis – Volume 510

by Jeffrey Miller June 13, 2024June 13, 2024
written by Jeffrey Miller
pope-francis2-300x187

The Weekly Francis is a compilation of the Holy Father’s writings, speeches, etc., which I also cross-post on Jimmy Akin’s blog.

This version of The Weekly Francis covers material released in the last week, from 5 April 2024 to 13 June 2024.

Angelus

  • 9 June 2024 – Angelus

General Audiences

  • 12 June 2024 – General Audience – Cycle of Catechesis. The Spirit and the Bride. The Holy Spirit guides the people of God towards Jesus our hope. 3. ‘All Scripture is inspired by God’. Knowing God’s

Letters

  • 4 June 2024 – Letter of the Holy Father to mark the 80th anniversary of the Vow to Mary ‘Salus Populi Romani’

Messages

  • 5 April 2024 – Message of the Holy Father on the occasion of the event ‘Inmersos en el cambio’ (‘Immersed in Change’)
  • 5 June 2024 – Message of the Holy Father on the occasion of the 80th anniversary of the Normandy Landings
  • 13 June 2024 – Eighth World Day of the Poor, 2024’ The prayer of the poor rises up to God (cf. Sir 21’5)

Speeches

  • 7 June 2024 – Tenth Anniversary of the Invocation for Peace in the Holy Land
  • 8 June 2024 – To the Participants in the IV International Meeting of Choirs
  • 8 June 2024 – Presentation of Credential Letters by the Ambassadors of Ethiopia, Zambia, Tanzania, Burundi, Qatar and Mauritania accredited to the Holy See
  • 10 June 2024 – Visit of the Holy Father to the Capitoline Hill
  • 13 June 2024 – To the Participants of the Meeting of Moderators of Lay Associations, Ecclesial Movements and New Communities Sponsored by the Dicastery for the Laity, the Family and Life

Papal Instagram

  • Franciscus
June 13, 2024June 13, 2024 0 comment
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A statue of the Sacred Heart of Jesus at Chambly, Quebec, Canada.
conversion

The Narrow Way Through the Sacred Heart of Jesus

by Jeffrey Miller June 7, 2024June 7, 2024
written by Jeffrey Miller

From the pierced Heart of Christ, symbol of the love which immolated Him on the Cross for us, came forth the Sacraments, represented by the water and the Blood flowing from the wound, and it is through these Sacraments that we receive the life of grace. Yes, it is eminently true to say that the Heart of Jesus was opened to bring us into life. Jesus once said, “Narrow is the gate… that leadeth to life” (Mt 7,14); but if we understand this gate to be the wound in His Heart, we can say that no gate could open to us with greater welcome. (Father Gabriel of St. Mary Magdalen, O.C.D., “Divine Intimacy”)

I like this metaphor of following the narrow way into Jesus’ heart. An image that shifts the focus from the narrowness and implied difficulty of the path to what we are created for. Teleology has fallen out of fashion, in part, to let us define for ourselves the meaning of all aspects of our life. In seeking to shed limits, we impose heavier limits on who we are and our call to holiness.

I know my concupiscent heart desires both to be drawn to Jesus’s heart and to the stone heart of the world in materialistic pleasures. In avoiding the narrowness of the path, I become more narrow by not expanding my trust. Jesus speaks of a narrowness that implies a focus, and not the narrowness of pride collapsed in on itself.

If you make “Temporary Promise” as a Secular Discalced Carmelite, you are supposed to take on a religious name used occasionally within the community. When I did so, my motive was initially to pick something super pious and impressive. Maybe something long to make it even more pious. Obviously, I have a long way to go regarding my motives. I finally settled on the Sacred Heart of Jesus as a personal focus of his love for us. I am not drawn too much of the imagery of the Sacred Heart in Catholic art, as it is does not fully conform to the beauty I sense in this image. More kitsch as in sentimental, than my mental tenuous grasp of the deeper meaning of this.

The name I ended up with was “St Thomas of the Sacred Heart.” The St. Thomas is two-fold. The Apostle St. Thomas who demanded empirical knowledge as I did in my days as an atheist. Along with the St. Thomas as in Aquinas who replied _Domine, non nisi Te_—that is, “Lord, nothing except you.” in answer to Jesus’ question to him for what reward he desires for his labour.

Getting back to Father Gabriel’s point that “we can say that no gate could open to us with greater welcome.”

29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Mt 11:29–30)

I often struggle with this and think of it as counterintuitive. Knowing that this is true, while once again trying to do something apart from him. Avoiding commitment and inconvenience in dumb hope to coast towards Christ, I find more difficulty and pain. My avoidance of suffering has only led to more suffering.

Grace constantly gives us the opportunity to accept it. To reduce the discrepancy between knowing a truth and living conformed to that truth.

Joe Heschmeyer recently wrote about the establishment of The Feast of the Sacred Heart.

… we find devotion to the Sacred Heart throughout the Middle Ages, but it goes from being a personal devotion to a liturgical feast in no small part in response to the heresy of Jansenism. In the words of Pope Pius XI, “the feast of the Sacred Heart of Jesus was instituted at a time when men were oppressed by the sad and gloomy severity of Jansenism, which had made their hearts grow cold, and shut them out from the love of God and the hope of salvation.”

There is so much that I find important and consoling in what Joe Heschmeyer wrote, that I want to quote extensively from it, but please read it yourselves.

“even now, in a wondrous yet true manner, we can and ought to console that most Sacred Heart which is continually wounded by the sins of thankless men.” (Pope Pius XI, Quas Primas)

The cure for my thanklessness is to be thankful.

Our grounds for gratitude are really far greater than our powers of being grateful. (G. K. Chesterton, “Negative and Positive Morality”)

June 7, 2024June 7, 2024 0 comment
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About Me

Jeff Miller is a former atheist who after spending forty years in the wilderness finds himself with both astonishment and joy a member of the Catholic Church. This award-winning blog presents my hopefully humorous and sometimes serious take on things religious, political, and whatever else crosses my mind.

Conversion story

  • Catholic Answers Magazine
  • Coming Home Network

Appearances on:

  • The Journey Home
  • Hands On Apologetics (YouTube)
  • Catholic RE.CON.

Blogging since July 2002

Recent Posts

  • A Litany of Gratitude

  • The Spiritual Life and Memes

  • What is your distance from Jesus on the Cross?

  • Feast of St. Thomas, Apostle

  • Gratitude and Generosity

  • “The Heart and Center of Catholicism”

  • Post-Lent Report

  • Stay in your lane

  • Echoing through creation

  • Another Heaven

  • My Year in Books – 2024 Edition

  • I Have a Confession to Make

  • A Mandatory Take

  • Everybody is ignorant

  • Sacramental Disposal, LLC

  • TL;DH (Too Long;Didn’t Hear)

  • A Shop Mark Would Like

  • The Narrow Way Through the Sacred Heart of Jesus

  • Time Travel and Fixing Up Our Past

  • The Weekly Leo

  • The Weekly Leo

  • The Weekly Leo

  • The Weekly Leo

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Email: curtjester@gmail.com

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  • The Curt Jester: Disturbingly Funny --Mark Shea
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  • One wag has even posted a list of the Top Ten signs that someone is in the grip of "motu-mania," -- John Allen Jr.
  • Brilliance abounds --Victor Lams
  • The Curt Jester is a blog of wise-ass musings on the media, politics, and things "Papist." The Revealer

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About Me

Jeff Miller is a former atheist who after spending forty years in the wilderness finds himself with both astonishment and joy a member of the Catholic Church. This award winning blog presents my hopefully humorous and sometimes serious take on things religious, political, and whatever else crosses my mind.
My conversion story
  • The Curt Jester: Disturbingly Funny --Mark Shea
  • EX-cellent blog --Jimmy Akin
  • One wag has even posted a list of the Top Ten signs that someone is in the grip of "motu-mania," -- John Allen Jr.
  • Brilliance abounds --Victor Lams
  • The Curt Jester is a blog of wise-ass musings on the media, politics, and things "Papist." The Revealer

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I also blog at Happy Catholic Bookshelf Twitter
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