Humor

Vatican Air

by Jeffrey Miller
written by Jeffrey Miller

ROME – A Vatican-backed charter airline service made its inaugural flight Monday, aiming to carry pilgrims to such Catholic shrines as Lourdes, Fatima, Santiago de Compostela and the Holy Land.

The flights, scheduled to start regular service next year, are tailored to the pilgrims’ needs, with inscriptions such as "I search for Your face, Lord," decorating the seats, and religious videos shown on board.

"We want to create the conditions to enable pilgrims to live their pilgrimage starting at their city’s airport and even before they arrive at their destinations," said the Rev. Caesar Atuire, CEO for the "Opera Romana Pellegrinaggi," an outfit that organizes pilgrimages for the Diocese of Rome.

Well this is not exactly a Vatican back operation. More accurately it is one backed by Cardinal Ruini and the Italian Bishop’s Conference and was started to help increase tourism in the Holy Land, but it looks like it is expanding operations.

Though I would love to see a real Vatican Airline or as some articles headlined last week "Airway to Heaven."

Now of course thinking about Vatican Air can lead to much fun to think about what type of service you would get.

  • They have no schedules and will only tell you "Thus, the last will be first, and the first will be last."
  • When boarding you always have to enter through the "Narrow gate."
  • Everybody gets the same seating arrangement because with Vatican Air there are no Jews, Greeks, Male, Female, Business Class, Economy, or First Class.
  • They use nuns as stewardesses and will rap your knuckles if you forget to say grace before eating your package of peanuts.
  • After the nuns demonstrate how to exit the aircraft and how to use the oxygen masks, they demonstrate how to pray the Rosary available in the compartment on the back of each seat. They also tell the passengers "The Parable of the Unjust Stewardess."
  • You never have to worry about the pilot being raptured because Catholics don’t fall for that fairly recent teleological innovation.
  • Flight insurance includes a fund that will pay stipends to a monastery of your choice that will have Masses said for you in case of a fatal accident.
  • There is always a priest onboard trained to quickly give general absolutions in case of an in flight emergency. Otherwise passengers may use the in flight confessionals. When using the in flight confessional make sure you slide the sign to occupied.
  • You get to offer up turbulence and airline food.
  • Not only is the seat a flotation device but it can also be used as a kneeler.
  • Dominicans, Franciscans, Carmelites and males from some other orders are eligible for Frequent Friar Miles.
  • If Vatican Air loses your luggage St. Anthony is immediately invoked.
  • You never have to worry that your aircrew includes Pontius Pilot.
  • Connecting flights are made with Holy Virgin airlines.
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News

Marriage Prep

by Jeffrey Miller
written by Jeffrey Miller

Bishop Francis X. DiLorenzo has approved a new diocesan-wide program recommended by a committee formed to review and recommend enhancements to the diocese’s existing marriage preparation process.

Engaged couples will still begin their marriage preparation process with the important initial meeting with their parish priest or deacon.

Under the new structure, however, that meeting will be followed by a pre-marital inventory to assess the couple’s strengths, as well as areas that need further exploration.

Additional components of the marriage prep process will provide engaged couples with a compelling and thorough catechesis on marriage and sexuality through a new program based on John Paul II’s “Theology of the Body,” as well as a full course in natural family planning.

…The information gleaned from the God’s Plan program will prepare couples for another new marriage prep component: natural family planning (NFP) instruction. Under the new program structure, engaged couples will receive instruction in one of the many NFP methods taught in the diocese. Committee members recommended a full NFP course as a way to ensure couples have the tools they need to exercise responsible parenthood when they find it necessary to space their children.

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Other

Get your passport ready

by Jeffrey Miller
written by Jeffrey Miller

�What does the �narrow gate� mean?�, the Pope asked pilgrims gathered in the courtyard of his summer residence at Castel Gandolfo. �Why do many not succeed in entering through it? Is the way reserved for just a few elect?�

The Pope said it is often a trap and a temptation to interpret this passage as a reference to religious practice as a source of privilege or security. But in reality, �the message of Christ is actually quite the opposite�, the Pope explained. �All can enter eternal life, but for everyone, the door is narrow. They are not privileged. The path to the eternal life is open to all, but it is narrow because it�s demanding, asks for commitment, abnegation, and the mortification of selfishness.�

The Pope said that to pass through the narrow gate, means �we must commit ourselves to being small, that is humble of heart like Jesus; like Mary, His and our mother�. �Christians call upon Her as Ianua Caeli, Heaven�s Gate,� the Pope said. �Let us ask Her to guide us in our daily choices and take us to the path that leads to �Heaven�s Gate�.�

The Pope added that Christ is the one Redeemer, �inviting us to his feast of immortal life, but on one and only one condition, that of following and imitating him, bearing as He did our own cross and devoting one�s life to one�s brothers. This is the single, universal condition to join the heavenly life.�

The Pope stressed that on the last day, �it is not on the basis of alleged privileges that we shall be judged but on the merit of our deeds. The �agents of iniquity� will find themselves excluded while those who did good deeds at the cost of sacrifices shall be welcomed.�

The Pope added: �It will not be enough to say that �I was a friend� of Christ, and claim false merits such as: �We ate and drank in your company and you taught in our streets�. True friendship with Jesus is expressed in how one lives; in the goodness of one�s heart; in one�s humility, kindness and mercy, in one�s love for justice and truth; in one�s sincere commitment to peace and reconciliation. This, we might say, is the �identity card� that qualifies us as true �friends;� it is the �passport� that will let us enter eternal life.�

You want to make sure you get the passport that is stamped with sanctifying grace and not the one printed on asbestos.

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Pro-life

Established pregnancy

by Jeffrey Miller
written by Jeffrey Miller

In an article on emergency "contraception" in a Catholic hospital the latest defense by EC proponents.

"The research is very clear. EC has no impact on an established pregnancy. If there’s been implantation on the uterine wall, there’s no impact. That’s in everything I’ve read," said Lon Newman, executive director of Family Planning Health Services.

Now the product insert itself says:

So what this means is that EC can cause problems with implantation and this is of course after conception has occurred. The true part of the their statement is only that once implantation has occurred that it is not effective. So their argument is quite deceptive in not mentioning embryos that fail to attach due to altering the endomentrium. But this is part of their non-scientific claim that you are not pregnant until implantation occurs and the attempt to move the start of life away from conception. They really can’t keep their stories straight. Out of one mouth it isn’t a human life until it is born and out of the other end life doesn’t occur until implantation. This is like the "it isn’t a clone until you implant it in the womb" argument and then they claim pro-lifers are anti-science.

"Think about it. If there was any risk to a current pregnancy, the FDA would never have accepted EC for over-the-counter status," Newman said.

As if this was a medical decision instead of a political one. They never mention that the regular birth control pill which uses a much lower dosage is not over-the-counter. This is a major discrepancy that is political and not medical.

Diogenes also has some perfect commentary on this new claim.

"Some critics– including Roman Catholic leaders– consider the pill tantamount to abortion, although Barr says it has no effect on women who are already pregnant."

Really? So if a woman has already conceived, the pill will do nothing?

If that’s what Barr wants us to believe, then let’s have a new advertising campaign for the "Plan B" pill. Right on the package, put a banner that reads: "If you’re already pregnant, this pill will do nothing." See what that does to the sales figures.

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Liturgy

The Sung Mass

by Jeffrey Miller
written by Jeffrey Miller

The sung Mass remains the normative form in the Roman Rite of the Catholic Church � but it is not the norm in most parishes. �A liturgical service takes on a nobler aspect when the rites are celebrated with singing,� says the Constitution on Sacred Liturgy (1964). Another church document refers to the sung or chanted Mass, saying �For the celebration of the Eucharist with the people, especially on Sundays and feast days, a form of sung Mass (Missa in cantu) is to be preferred as much as possible, even several times on the same day.� (Musicam Sacram, 1967). Chanting the Mass was once common in England, for example, before the Reformation and the reign of Henry VIII.

The Catholic Church reflects various traditions and customs, as well as various liturgies that have come down to believers over the ages. For example, the Byzantine rite of the Divine Liturgy, or Mass, is sung in plain chant by cantors who lead the congregations. While congregations of the Byzantine rite once used Church Slavonic exclusively, they now overwhelmingly use the vernacular. The Roman rite predominates in the United States and elsewhere in the Americas and, while it once used Latin for liturgies, it moved to using vernacular languages in the 1960s.

However, with the recent release of Pope Benedict XVI�s Motu Propio document that allows the option to priests of the Roman rite to celebrate the Tridentine ritual of the Mass in Latin (as was the case universally before the Second Vatican Council), some priests in the US are scrambling to learn and chant the rituals of the Mass in Latin. An example of the use of innovative teaching technology in this vein is found at Sancta Missa, a website sponsored by the Society of St. John Cantius and dedicated to web-based tutorials for priests interested in learning the Latin Mass.

A seminar to teach priests to chant the Latin Mass is to be offered October 17-19, 2007 by the Church Music Association of America in conjunction with St. John Cantius Catholic parish in Chicago IL. According to a press release issued by the Church Music Association, the goal of the seminar is to provide a full initiation into the method and manner of singing the Mass in the Roman Rite. The seminar covers: basics of common tones; pronunciation; singing the collects, readings, prefaces, and other parts of the Mass; musical rubrics for the Roman rite; integration of the celebrant, schola (choir), and people; literature and the wide range of options; vocal production and style.

It would be wonderful if more an more Masses were sung and I do hope the interest in chanting the Mass for the extraordinary form will translate into chanting the Mass in the ordinary form. I do love when they chant the Mass at my parish for the ordinary form of Mass whether in English or in Latin. A sung Mass seems to me to add to the transcendence of the Mass and to help me to pray with the Mass more.

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Pro-life

Eugenics

by Jeffrey Miller
written by Jeffrey Miller

Rome – A botched abortion in which a healthy twin foetus was terminated instead of its sibling with Down syndrome has reignited the abortion debate in Italy and raised allegations of eugenics.

"The time has come to re-examine the abortion law" that dates back to 1978, wrote leftist Senator Paola Binetti, who is close to the Vatican, in the Corriere della Sera newspaper.

"What happened in this hospital was not a medical abortion but an abortion done for the purposes of eugenics," she said, referring to the belief that the human species can be improved through selective reproduction.

The abortion was performed on a 38-year-old woman in Milan in June, but news of its outcome has only recently become public. Doctors blamed the mistake on movement of the foetuses between the examination and the abortion.

"They wanted to kill the sick foetus and save the healthy one and what didn’t work properly in this business was the selection," Binetti wrote.

I just hope and pray that the surviving twin doesn’t get aborted.

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Book Review

Coincidentally

by Jeffrey Miller
written by Jeffrey Miller

Having read Fr. George W. Rutler’s books and column in the past I knew I was sure to enjoy his latest book Coincidentally: Unserious Reflections on Trivial Connections and ordered it as soon as it come out. The book contains fifty columns that originally appeared in Crisis Magazine and while I had read some of these columns before I enjoyed reading all of them together. Plus the lengthy preface was fun to read itself and provide a good introduction to these short essays.

The types of coincidences Fr. Rutler has detailed are not the sort that make conspiracy theorists shout Aha! They are instead the more mundane type of linking births, deaths, anniversaries, etc with other people and events. Each essay is built around a topic and you are soon immersed in a roller coaster ride through history. His command of history is breathtaking as he relates stories of people and events and links them together, albeit loosely, through coincidences of dates and even the numeric addition of the numbers in a date. Each essay runs about four pages and I kept telling myself that I would just read one more for now and then just going on and reading the next. His wit sparkles through and I found myself laughing over and over.

The annoying thing about the book is that it sharply illuminated how little I know about history, especially world history. Though I suspect a history professor might also feel a bit ignorant reading through this book. I would certainly have enjoyed to have had Fr. Rutler as a history professor instead of the social studies teachers that had little zeal for illuminating the grand adventure of history.

Here is one example of his style of writing and wit in this book:

Different hemispheres of the brain govern the propensity for intuitive artistry and inductive science. Extreme atrophy of one of the lobes can cause exaggerated aesthetism or nerdish scientism. Acute distinctions between the arts and sciences are artificial and unscientific. One dead lobe creates the National Endowment for the Arts and another dead one creates Planned Parenthood.

All of the essays are enjoyable, but I especially loved the one called “My Million Man Speech.” Louis Farrakhan gave a very strange speech where he took off on the coincidences of numbers such as the height of the Washington Monument. Fr. Rutler gives his own take in a perfect-pitch parody on coincidences in numbers.

This is quite an enjoyable book on so many levels and I highly recommended it.

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Punditry

Church responsible for cat killing in Italy

by Jeffrey Miller
written by Jeffrey Miller

A leading animal rights group has estimated that 60,000 black cats are killed every year by Italians who believe that they bring bad luck.

The Italian Association for the Protection of Animals and the Environment claims that some are also killed as part of black magic rituals.

While black cats are seen as being lucky in the UK, many people in Italy believe that if a black cat crosses their path it indicates the devil is present. The association calculated its figure from observations of the stray cat population and from monitoring of animal ownership registers. The group said it had evidence that thousands of black cats vanished or were found dead each year.

Across large parts of Europe, black cats have been associated with witchcraft since the Middle Ages and were said to be the favourite companions for witches.

Lorenzo Croce, the association’s president, blamed the Church for spreading myths about the animals.

“The Catholic Church has perpetuated this idea for centuries and it is now deeply implanted in people’s minds,” he said.

“For centuries black cats were massacred at the order of priests.”

I must have missed those Church documents on black cats. You would think it would be in the Cat-echism and I wonder if they were killed via a Purr-ifier?

This accusation strikes me as being particularly silly. The greatest animus towards cats (and dogs) was during the Black Plague where they were blamed as plague carriers, though the animals killed were certainly not at the order of the Church. Then of course there were rumors of cats being familiars for witches such as portrayed in Shakespeare’s MacBeth. But even during the height of the largely exaggerated witch trials in Europe, Italy doomed no more than a handful of witches. So the idea that it is the Catholic Church responsible for the supposed mass executions of black cats in Italy is quite ridiculous. Somehow they are both suppose to largely ignore Church teaching and yet at the same time respond to what is superstition from the Middle Ages which was suppose to have been instigated by the Church.

Besides I think the Pope’s black and white cat Chico would be quite upset if his master was the head of a large cat killing organization.

Mr Croce added that many of the cats disappeared around Hallowe’en. He blamed "strange rituals for worshipping evil", and said the perpetrators "need to sacrifice black cats while performing their rituals".

I think the whole article is likely an exaggeration. There is an urban legend here in the states which claims the same thing, but is in fact false.

By the way for information on the witch trials check out historian Sandra Miesel’s article.

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News

Spiritual vacations

by Jeffrey Miller
written by Jeffrey Miller

Rome, Aug 24, 2007 / 10:18 am (CNA).- More and more Italians, tired from the routine and noise of the city, are opting to spend their vacations in monasteries and convents that offer them a time of reflection and contact with nature.

Many religious communities—even cloistered convents–have opened their doors to young people and families to join in their daily life of prayer and activities, as well as to listen to their concerns and provide them spiritual guidance.

“In these times in which prayer and reflection go unnoticed,” the Augustinian Sisters of the Monastery of Lecceto, near Siena, offer such an opportunity, said Mother Sofia. Guests can participate in community prayers and even help out with the monastery’s artisan work.

The Benedictine monks, who are instructed in their rule of life to receive visitors, are taking guests in at their monastery in Subiaco, allowing them to participate in the daily prayers of the community.

The Franciscans at the Sacro Convent of Assisi offer guests the chance to visit the places where St. Francis lived, such as the Church of San Damiano, the Portiuncula chapel, and his tomb at the Basilica of Assisi.

Clinging to the Barque of Peter
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