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The Curt Jester

"It is the test of a good religion whether you can joke about it." GKC

Parody

Catholic Google

by Jeffrey Miller January 11, 2009
written by Jeffrey Miller

Recently a new way for Catholics to use Google came
out www.catholicgoogle.com.
This is from their about page.

Catholic search engine powered by Google striving
to provide an easy to use resource to anyone wanting to learn more
about Catholicism and provide a safer way for good Catholics to surf
the web.

Cathoogle is powered by Google using "safe
search" technology, it produces balanced results from all
perspectives, from sites all over the internet with more weighting to
given to Catholic websites and sites containing content relating to
Catholics and Catholicism. At the same time our search engine
eliminates sites and web pages containing adult themed and explicit
sexual content from web search results.

The site is not
associated or affiliated with Google.com, we work closely with Google
to help ensure that the ads are not objectionable in nature, however,
some of the results and ads that are displayed may not be in line
with Catholic doctrine and we do not endorse of any of the results or
ads displayed on Cathoogle.

If you looked up something like contraception or aborion using
Cathoogle you get quite different results as the top hits weighted
towards orthodox Catholic sites for the most part.

As you can imagine this search service does not sit to well with
some Catholics of a progressive persuasion. I just got word about
another new search service using Google that provides quite different
hits then those provided by Cathoogle.

About Us

Are you tired of using search terms that give you a bunch of results that you don’t want? That you have to go through page after page of results to find answers that match what you want?

If so then liberalcatholicgoogle.com is the site for you!

Our specialized search algorithm will give you the results you want without a bunch of search chaff. No more will you find such sites as catholic.com, Catholic Encyclopedia, etch cluttering up your search results. Though one problem is that even among us progressive Catholics there are people who accept one so-called "dogma" and not another. When we pick and choose what we accept from the hierarchical Church it is not surprising that others pick and choose a different set. But we are a big tent Church and to accommodate this LiberalCatholicGoogle will further filter your search results based on your theological prospective.

When you go to our configuration page you will see a selection of check boxes such as for example:


Abortion

Contraception

Divorce

Homosexual Acts

Homosexual Marriage

Jesus is God

Jesus is one of many paths

Magisterium

Obedience

Papal Infallibility

Personal Infallibility

Women’s Ordination

Just check off the items that best match what you accept.

Or you can just check off


National Catholic Reporter Reader

And the checkmarks will be checked accordingly.

After then after answering a short questionnaire you’re off to search results matched perfectly to what you already believe!

No more will you be bothered with pesky Vatican documents such as Humanae Vitae or annoying quotes from the Church Fathers in your search results. You will find plenty of content from the National Catholic Reporter, Commonweal, America, and other great Catholic sources such as the New York Times and the Washington Post.

Now sometimes you actually want something from a source such as the Vatican or Scripture. In these cases simply checkmark

Vatican Safe Search and/or

Scripture Safe Search

With Vatican Safe Search on – we have a special search algorithm first developed for Cherie Blair. The search will go through Vatican documents using the specialized search pick also known as the Cherie pick to return passages of documents that best match your search preferences and search terms. The Cherie pick also works perfectly wellwith Scripture Safe Search – on. You will be sure to get scripture such as"judge not’ without results such as "go and sin no more" or mean passages from homophobic St Paul. Within seconds you will have select passages to prove to other Catholics whatever you want!

Not convinced yet? Well take a look at a sample of real world search results and you will be:



Planned Parenthood Federation of America, Inc.
Donate to Planned Parenthood. Schedule an abortion.
www.plannedparenthood.org/ – 56k

Catholics for Choice
Works in partnership with reproductive health, interfaith and Catholic church reform groups that share the commitment to safe, legal reproductive health …
www.catholicsforchoice.org/ – 22k

NARAL Pro-Choice Massachusetts : News
Dec 16, 2008 … NARAL Pro-Choice Massachusetts releases results of a survey of … Responses from both Catholic and secular hospitals indicate that they may …
www.prochoicemass.org/news/echosp2008.shtml – 19k

Commonweal – A review of religion, politics and culture
Why Mario Cuomo is a hero for first using personally opposed but …
www.commonwealmagazine.org

EMILY’s List
Supporting pro-choice Democratic women running for congress and governor.
www.emilyslist.org/

Writer’s Desk: June 26, 2006
National Catholic Reporter is a nonprofit organization. Contributions are tax- deductible in the … Understand, I am no absolutist on the abortion issue. …
www.nationalcatholicreporter.org/todaystake/index.htm

Amazon.com: A Brief, Liberal, Catholic Defense of Abortion: Daniel …
"
A Brief, Liberal, Catholic Defense of Abortion" argues that the current Catholic anti-abortion stance is justified neither by modern embryology nor by …
www.amazon.com/Brief-Liberal-Catholic-Defense-Abortion/dp/0252025504 – 287k

Pro-abortion Senator Joe Biden
The next Republican that tells me I’m not religious, I’m going to shove my rosary beads down their throat.. …
www.joebiden.com/ – 9k

Barack Obama and Joe Biden: The Change We Need

Jan 22, 2008 … And I will continue to defend this right by passing the Freedom of Choice Act as president. "Moreover, I believe in and have supported …
www.barackobama.com/2008/01/22/obama_statement_on_35th_annive.php – 41k –

January 11, 2009 15 comments
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Religious and Secular Priests

by Jeffrey Miller January 11, 2009
written by Jeffrey Miller

Fr. Philip Neri Powell, OP writes a good post on the differences between Religious Order and and Diocesan priests. Also interesting how some of the distinctions are blurring.

January 11, 2009 2 comments
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Punditry

Probability

by Jeffrey Miller January 10, 2009
written by Jeffrey Miller

As atheist ads hit London’s buses on Tuesday, one faith-based think tank says they will only get people thinking more about God.

The ads by the British Humanist Association carry the slogan “There’s probably no God. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life.” They are to appear on 30 of London’s bendy buses.

The keyword here is “probably” which makes this rather a weak argument. If a theist tells an atheist there is probably a God this certainly would be rather an unconvincing argument. Atheists often pride themselves on relying only on reason and so I am a bit surprised they picked suck a weak slogan.

If you were told there is “probably” a bridge over the canyon you might not exactly stop worrying. If you were told there is “probably” no poison in your soup by the waitress it would certainly give you pause. If you have an eternal soul and can face eternal judgment, “probably” just does not cut it. Though there is no certainty for either atheists or theists.

…both the believer and the unbeliever share, each in his own way, doubt and belief, if they do not hide from themselves and from the truth of their being. Neither can quite escape either doubt or belief; for the one, faith is present against doubt; for the other, through doubt and in the form of doubt. It is the basic pattern of man’s destiny only to be allowed to find the finality of his existence in this unceasing rivalry between doubt and belief, temptation and certainty. Perhaps in precisely this way doubt, which saves both sides from being shut up in their own worlds, could become the avenue of communication. It prevents both sides from enjoying complete self-satisfaction; it opens up the believer to the doubter and the doubter to the believer; for one, it is this share in the fate of the unbeliever; for the other, the form in which belief remains nevertheless a challenge to him. – then-Cardinal Josef Ratzinger “Introduction to Christianity”

The other aspect of the slogan I found interesting was “stop worrying and enjoy your life.” I suspect many atheists think that Christians and others spend a lot of time worrying about judgment and that it cripples them in some way, especially in regards to judgment. This is kind of the Stephen King view of religious followers where religion always distorts them in some neurotic way like the mother in Carrie. There are certainly those who suffer from scrupulosity and worry too much about judgment. If anything too many Christians live their life without thinking about the last things enough.

What the atheists can not understand or explain is the saints who give themselves totally to God and are the most joyful of us. Though they would explain the saints away as deluded. It is joy not fear that marks the true believer.

Atheists like the secularists (which include many believers that often act like atheism is true) often want to cure the symptoms and not the deeper problems. They would eliminate worrying and guilt if they could and forget that the person who has successfully done so is amoral and often a monster. The message on the bus is really about not worrying, but about not feeling guilty. Their focus is not those who worry about the economy and such, but those who feel guilt for what they do and think about judgment. To stop feeling guilt is to perform a consciencectomy. But it flows out of the atheist naturally since if there is no God, there is no sin and certainly no judgment. They can also not tell Stalin why to not act as he did. With no eternal consequences for actions what Stalin did worked for him.

It is not though that atheists can’t be good people, very often they are. Ironically it is despite their atheism when they are good and because of the light they are given by God and the natural virtues. There have been plenty of attempts by atheists to construct a morality without God that mostly amounts to getting along and prudent ways to go about it. It was Friedrich Nietzsche who truly followed the path of atheism and saw such an attempt as folly. But I guess “Beyond good and evil” just does not work as a bus slogan.

January 10, 2009 16 comments
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News

Fr. Richard John Neuhaus R.I.P.

by Jeffrey Miller January 8, 2009
written by Jeffrey Miller

As many of you already know Fr. Richard John Neuhaus passed away this morning due to cancer. He was a man of considerable intelligence and the sort of dry wit that I enjoy and the master of the turn of phrase. His Public Square columns in First Things was always a joy to read both for his insights and his mastery of language.

I do find it interesting that it was Fr. George Rutler a former Anglican priest was the one to give last rites to Fr. Neuhaus who was a former Lutheran priest which invokes to me Fr. Neuhaus line about having many ironies in the fire.

John Allen Jr. has a good overview of Fr. Neuhaus’ life.

We can say thank you to Fr. Neuhaus’ life of service by praying for him.

January 8, 2009 12 comments
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Punditry

Forever babies

by Jeffrey Miller January 6, 2009
written by Jeffrey Miller

WASHINGTON – Many people like to stop and play with newborn babies, but now some adult women are playing house with fake babies.

Some women are even going as far as taking day trips with the fake babies to the park, out to eat, and even hosting birthday parties for them.

Forty-nine-year-old Linda is married with no children of her own. Now, she says she feels like a mother because she has Reborns — dolls made to look and feel like the real thing.

“It’s not a crazy habit, like, you know, drinking, or some sort of, something that’s going to hurt you. It’s like a hobby.and it doesn’t really hurt anybody,” Linda said.
These women are paying big bucks for this hobby, from $100 to a few thousand dollars. For Reborn owner Lachelle Moore, the fake babies fill a void.

“What’s so wonderful about Reborns is that, um, they’re forever babies,” said Moore, who has grown children and grandchildren. “There’s no college tuition, no dirty diapers… just the good part of motherhood,” she added.

In her Kansas City home, Moore even has an elaborate room for the dolls. She organizes birthday parties, bakes a cake and even invites guests.

Psychologists say there could be a problem if and when these women stop interacting socially with others in their life.

Psychologists say there could be a problem if … Thus sayeth the culture of death. I must say that my reaction to this story is that it creeps me out. Our society’s view of children as an inconvenience is bad enough and when a natural instinct towards motherhood is diverted in such a way the distortion is made more evident. Children now are seen as a resource-monger, as something that takes away from what you have. The comedian Gallagher and notorious watermelon smasher use to illustrate parenthood by putting a diaper on an anchor. I thought this pretty funny at the time when I was a young father myself, but this bit of comedy is now seen a the reality of parenthood and all of the joys of such mostly ignored.

January 6, 2009 49 comments
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Pro-life

A wicked definition of wicked

by Jeffrey Miller January 6, 2009
written by Jeffrey Miller

In Belfast last night, Dame Mary Warnock said that doctors who refuse to help terminally ill patients to kill themselves are “genuinely wicked”. [full story]

January 6, 2009 7 comments
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Punditry

Just can't win

by Jeffrey Miller January 6, 2009
written by Jeffrey Miller

Most Holy Redeemer Catholic Church, in the heart of San Francisco’s gay Castro community, was vandalized over the weekend by opponents of Proposition 8, the California resolution passed by voters in November that rejected gay marriage. Swastikas were painted on the church and the names Ratzinger (referring to Pope Benedict XVI) and Niederauer (the San Francisco Archbishop) were scrawled besides the Nazi symbol.

So you pander to homosexuals and become the most gay-friendly Catholic church in San Francisco and have at least five “married” men on staff and what do you get – vandalized. Bishop Niederauer gave Communion to men in drag and members of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence and wrote a rather weak letter to the homosexual community almost apologizing for Prop 8 and he gets labeled a Nazi. You just can’t win when it comes to homosexual activists.

Catholic League president Bill Donohue is asking Catholics nationwide to respond to this incident:

“In the wake of Proposition 8, innocent persons have been assaulted, churches have been vandalized, a white substance resembling anthrax was sent to the Knights of Columbus and to Mormon temples, supporters of traditional marriage have been branded Nazis, African Americans have been called the ‘N-word,’ houses and cars have been trashed, etc. Unfortunately, most of those in the gay community have been silent about these acts.

“Part of the blame for the latest attack goes to San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom and the San Francisco Board of Supervisors. Both Newsom and the Board have shown nothing but contempt for the First Amendment rights of Catholics. When crucifixes are sold as sex toys and Catholic sensibilities are assaulted by naked men in the street at the annual Folsom Street Fair, they say nothing. When gay men dressed as nuns show up at Mass-at the same church-they say nothing. But the Board was quite vocal about condemning the Catholic Church in 2006, something which led to a lawsuit triggered by the Catholic League and the Thomas More Law Center.

“For those who love to write about ‘root causes,’ let them ponder the guilt of these public officials. Moreover, leaders in the gay community show no leadership when it comes to denouncing incivility committed in the name of gay rights. This has got to end.”

Contact Mayor Gavin Newsom and ask him to finally condemn gay assaults on Catholics and other people of faith:

January 6, 2009 6 comments
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Other

Small world

by Jeffrey Miller January 5, 2009
written by Jeffrey Miller

Today I had a technician from a company that takes care of insect pests come over to my house. While he was putting bait in the attic I guess he noticed one of my bookcases and the works of Scott Hahn. He told me that his brother had been a student of his at the University of Steubenville. Later as we got to talking I told him I was a convert to the Church. He mentioned that he had a blog and I told him so do I. Now there is the vanity in me to hope that if I mention the name of my blog to a Catholic who reads blogs that there will be instant recognition. It turned out that not only did he read my blog, but I was on his blogroll. Oh well I can let my head shrink a bit another day. He said his brother has a penchant for theology while he liked apologetics with Protestants. We hear so often of the big name Catholic apologists, but it is really cool that there are also a good segment of Catholics who are lay apologists and who take the Gospel seriously to go out into the whole world. So besides the Joe Sixpacks out there I tip my hat to the Joe Apologists. I have looked over his blog called “Lamb of God” which is a play on his own name Richard Lamb. Really quite a solid Catholic blog and one going on my blogroll and RSS aggregator.

Coincidentally after I had decided on the title for this post I received an email from a reader with the title “It’s a small world.” She said that she had been watching EWTN and the program from London, England called Catholic Lives. Fr. Timothy Finigan was on the show and mentioned my blog by name. Thank you Father. Fr. Finigan of course blogs at The Hermeneutic of Continuity.

January 5, 2009 6 comments
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Uncategorized

Haight Crime

by Jeffrey Miller January 5, 2009
written by Jeffrey Miller

Fr. Philip Powell, OP posts on the latest action by the Congregation on the Doctrine of the Faith (CDF) regarding Fr. Roger Haight, S.J. I unfortunately think Fr. Powell is right about what will be the reaction by the progressives and he will be cast as the latest theologian-martyr to suffer at the hands of the CDF. Somehow progressives don’t have a problem with a theologian that undermines the divinity of Christ.

January 5, 2009 2 comments
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Beginnings

by Jeffrey Miller January 5, 2009
written by Jeffrey Miller

My wife and I returned from a mini-vacation in the Norfolk-Virginia Beach area. Going back to my old Navy stomping grounds is almost like a pilgrimage for me. This was where I was hit by a car while riding my bicycle to work and I realized that was no longer an atheist. Though believing that there is some sort of God and knowing what to do about that took quite a while longer.

It was also the place where I resorted to listening to Protestant radio stations before Christmas just to hear more traditional Christmas Carols. My love of singing Christmas Carols was one of the pathways to respond to grace that God used in my case. What I heard on the Protestant radio stations between this carols put me into the active phase of my conversion when I seriously began to look into Christianity and ripping through everything I could get at the local library.

It was also the place where I first attempted to first go to confession. I say attempted since it turned out that the first two times I went to confession it was not valid. I have written before that growing up that religion was something never talked about at all in our household. In later years my Mother, Aunt, and my Grandmother attended a Catholic Church and I knew I was baptized. What I didn’t know at that time was that they were all converts from Methodism and that I had been baptized in a Methodist church as an infant. So I had assumed I had been baptized as a Catholic and that they had always been Catholic.

At the time though thinking I was baptized Catholic I knew that as a Catholic to get right with God you had to go to confession. This I had of course learned from Hollywood. So I picked a Catholic Church in my area and went to confession not knowing anything about the formula for confession or how to say the act of contrition. Needless to say I had a lot to confess, but of course later I had to redo it when I found out I wasn’t Catholic. That happened at my second confession some months later after moving to Jacksonville when I was told that I had to reconcile the relationships with my parents who I had drifted apart from. That night I talked to my mother for the first time in several years and found out that I indeed was not a Catholic. That was quite a grace because within two years of that she had died of cancer. Though finding out I was not Catholic was a bit shocking to me since at the time I had just started to go to Mass and was receiving the Eucharist. I enrolled into RCIA and then later finally was able to make my first real sacramental confession.

While we were in Norfolk I wanted to go to Mass at the church where I first attempted confession. Even if not valid it was an important step on my path to conversion. We went to the Vigil Mass and to be frank I was expecting the Mass to be standard fare for what is found in the U.S. Boy was I wrong. The parish is Saint Pius X and the Filipino priest said Mass quite beautifully and the hymns were all carols and quite well done with organ accompaniment. They had a choir loft and they actually used it. The architecture of the church I would not rank as beautiful. Concrete churches rarely all, but the grooved cement pattern made it as nice as it could be. But a church with a large central crucifix and a tabernacle in the sanctuary deserves some leeway in criticism. Regardless the Mass was a beautiful experience.

I must admit though a moment during the Mass when the name of the church made me wonder if I might have gone into an SSPX chapel. This was only a momentary doubt as I remember the church was listed as part of the diocese and I don’t think an SSPX chapel would be having the newer rite of Mass in the first place.

January 5, 2009 4 comments
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About Me

Jeff Miller is a former atheist who after spending forty years in the wilderness finds himself with both astonishment and joy a member of the Catholic Church. This award-winning blog presents my hopefully humorous and sometimes serious take on things religious, political, and whatever else crosses my mind.

Conversion story

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About Me

Jeff Miller is a former atheist who after spending forty years in the wilderness finds himself with both astonishment and joy a member of the Catholic Church. This award winning blog presents my hopefully humorous and sometimes serious take on things religious, political, and whatever else crosses my mind.
My conversion story
  • The Curt Jester: Disturbingly Funny --Mark Shea
  • EX-cellent blog --Jimmy Akin
  • One wag has even posted a list of the Top Ten signs that someone is in the grip of "motu-mania," -- John Allen Jr.
  • Brilliance abounds --Victor Lams
  • The Curt Jester is a blog of wise-ass musings on the media, politics, and things "Papist." The Revealer

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I also blog at Happy Catholic Bookshelf Twitter
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