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The Curt Jester

"It is the test of a good religion whether you can joke about it." GKC

Canon LawLiturgy

Brick by brick

by Jeffrey Miller October 18, 2009February 20, 2010
written by Jeffrey Miller

As part of the reform of the reform, Pope Benedict has ordered Swiss Guard to monitor pianists to prevent playing of Haugen, Daas, and similar composers.

October 18, 2009February 20, 2010 16 comments
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Punditry

A Charitable Endeavor

by Jeffrey Miller October 18, 2009
written by Jeffrey Miller

Archbishop Chaput writes an excellent essay in First Things on Catholic charitable institutions and the increasing attacks from the government. He makes some excellent points as he follows the history or our country and the reason for the attacks from a strange bedfellow partnership of individuals and the government.

Though one aspect he missed out on is that Catholic charitable institutions are being attacked both from within and without. He cites the case of Catholic Charities in Massachusetts being forced out of adoptions because of laws forcing them to adopt to homosexual couples. Though the truth was that Catholic Charities was already performing such adoptions at times until their hand was forced. The same goes for Catholic Charities in San Francisco that was also forced out of the adoption business. Unfortunately many Catholic charitable institutions are staffed with people not exactly friendly to the whole gamut of Catholic teaching. Blessed Mother Teresa disliked being called a social worker because her work transcended the purely humanitarian model. Often though those working in our institutions could easily be classed just in the social worker mode.

October 18, 2009 1 comment
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Punditry

Celebrated and lived

by Jeffrey Miller October 17, 2009
written by Jeffrey Miller

SOUTH BEND, Ind. (AP) – The Rev. John I. Jenkins, who came under fire for inviting President Barack Obama to the University of Notre Dame campus, has been re-elected to a second five-year term as president of the school.[reference]

Such a smooth move after loosing millions of dollars in donations. Keep up the great work!

The trustees also approved a resolution Friday expressing their “respect and full confidence” in Jenkins, saying he has nurtured an environment where “the Catholic faith and intellectual tradition are celebrated and lived.”

Yes Fr. Jenkins is the poster boy for “Catholic faith and intellectual tradition are celebrated and lived.” Arresting pro-life protesters is the mark of living your faith. Approving pornographic plays is a great way to live your faith. Having a campus where travel expenses to homosexual pride events is another mark of an authentic Catholic university. Honoring the most radically pro-abortion President ever who even supported infanticide is evidence to the Church’s teaching. Oh wait.

October 17, 2009 16 comments
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Humor

R. Walker Nickless, Sioux City Bishop

by Jeffrey Miller October 16, 2009
written by Jeffrey Miller

Bishop R. Walker Nickless in an excellent pastoral letter released yesterday Ecclesia Semper Reformanda (The Church is Always in Need of Renewal) at one point said.

Lastly, the Holy Father, going into greater detail later in the address, explains that the “spirit of Vatican II” must be found only in the letter of the documents themselves. The so-called “spirit” of the Council has no authoritative interpretation. It is a ghost or demon that must be exorcised if we are to proceed with the Lord’s work.

Well the Bishop might be interested in the text I wrote as part of a Parody three years ago.

Rite of Exorcism of the Spirit of Vatican II

The priest delegated by the Ordinary to perform this office should first go to confession or at least elicit an act of contrition, and, if convenient, offer the holy Sacrifice of the Mass, and implore God’s help in other fervent prayers. He vests in surplice and purple stole. Having before him the person possessed (who should be bound if there is any danger), he traces the sign of the cross over him, over himself, and the bystanders, and then sprinkles all of them with holy water. After this he kneels and says the Litany of the Saints, exclusive of the prayers which follow it. All present are to make the responses. Do not be surprised if during the Litany of the Saints if the subject becomes uncomfortable with so many pre-Vatican II names. The person might try ot interject other names like for example Gandhi.

It might also be necessary to gag the possessed person. The possessed will often appeal to dialoguing and will attempt to do it for countless hours and then days on end. This faux dialoguing in not an attempt to get to the truth, but to wear you down in sophist arguments. Appealing to Holy Scripture, Apostolic Tradition, and reason are fruitful avenues in most situation, but only the most patient exorcist should try to employ them in this situation since the possesed are normally immune to them.

The next step in the exorcism has been known to produce especially strong reactions from the possessed person. Even if the person is bound it is suggested that a minimum of two people be on hand to hold them down and to assist you. The exorcist after appealing to the Holy Spirit begins to read the actual texts of the documents of Vatican II. As mentioned above be prepared for a violent reaction especially while reading Sacrosanctum Concilium. If the possessed person is not gagged be prepared for obscene outbursts like "Your mother is a homophobe." Rainbow colored projectile vomiting has also been known to occur. While the text is read the bystanders chant "The power of the text compels you." Make sure that a medical team is on hand in case the possessed person goes into shock during the reading. They will no be spinning of their head or displaying supernatural phenomenon, but the logic they will use in defending the spirit of Vatican II might make your own head spin.

The following invocation is then chanted:

From all evil, Deliver us, 0 Lord.
From the spirit which denies the text, Deliver us, 0 Lord.
From modernist interpretations, Deliver us, 0 Lord.
From inclusive language, Deliver us, 0 Lord.
From the pride of independence, Deliver us, 0 Lord.
From liturgical abuses, Deliver us, 0 Lord.
From disobedience to the magisterium, Deliver us, 0 Lord.
From an unformed conscience, Deliver us, 0 Lord.
From the spirit of the age, Deliver us, 0 Lord.

The exorcist than commands the spirit of Vatican II to come out

Therefore, I adjure you every modern spirit, every specter from academia, every dissident power, in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, who was led into the desert after His baptism by John to vanquish you in your citadel, to cease your assaults against the creature whom He has, formed from the slime of the earth for His own honor and glory that you leave this soul. I command you moreover that you leave immediately so that this person can not only come to enjoy the actual documents of Vatican II, but that he (she) may appreciate and accept in obedience all of the Church’s councils and magisterial teachings of Holy Mother Church. That he (she) may see the Second Vatican Council as an organic growth and not a starting point of a new church.

Depart, then, impious one, depart, accursed one, depart with all your deceits, for God has willed that man should be His temple. Why do you still linger here? Give honor to God the Father almighty, before whom every knee must bow. Give place to the Lord Jesus Christ, who shed His most precious blood for man. Give place to the Holy Spirit, who by His blessed apostle Peter openly struck you down in the person of Simon Magus; who cursed your lies in Annas and Saphira; who smote you in King Herod because he had not given honor to God. Depart you mischievous spirit that denies sin and calls right wrong and wrong right. I order you depart deceitful spirit to leave and to never return.

All the above may be repeated as long as necessary, until the one possessed has been fully freed.

It will also help to say devoutly and often over the afflicted person the Our Father, Hail Mary, and the Creed, as well as any of the prayers given below.

The Canticle of our Lady, with the doxology; the Canticle of Zachary, with the doxology.

The exorcist then looks for signs that the evil spirit of modernity has truly departed. Have the subject read from the Catechism of the Catholic Church and VII documents and observe their demeanor. If they look comfortable doing this let the person read some scriptural texts. If they can do this without injecting inclusive language for references to God, then this is a further sign of healing. As a final test have the person as a test of obedience recite the Affirmation of Personal Faith. If they can read this without breaking a sweat, screaming in terror, or any sign of discomfort then this is a very good sign indeed. "The devil can imitate humility but he cannot imitate obedience." St. Faustina

October 16, 2009 7 comments
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Punditry

Slow news week?

by Jeffrey Miller October 16, 2009
written by Jeffrey Miller

I do wonder why Sarah Silverman suggestion that the Vatican sell everything to help the poor keeps getting more and more news attention? I keep seeing stories covering it via Google News. Though in a world where CNN fact checks a Saturday Night Live parody piece on the President I guess it is par for the course for the media to cover the rantings of some shock Comedienne. We of course can’t expect them to actually fact check her routine.

Though it does remind me of the story of St. Laurence and the treasure of the Church. He was captured and told to bring the treasure of the Church to his captors. The following day he brought a bunch of poor people and told them that they were the treasure of the Church. Though I have the odd feeling that this wasn’t what Sarah Silverman had it mind.

I also doubt that she thought of or even knew of the efforts in the Vatican during World War II and this notable example.

Joseph Lichten records that on September 27, 1943, one of the Nazi commanders demanded of the Jewish community in Rome payment of one hundred pounds of gold within thirty-six hours or three hundred Jews would be taken prisoner. When the Jewish Community Council was only able to gather only seventy pounds of gold, they turned to the Vatican.

“In his memoirs, the then Chief Rabbi Zolli of Rome writes that he was sent to the Vatican, where arrangements had already been made to receive him as an ‘engineer’ called to survey a construction problem so that the Gestapo on watch at the Vatican would not bar his entry. He was met by the Vatican treasurer and secretary of state, who told him that the Holy Father himself had given orders for the deficit to be filled with gold vessels taken from the Treasury.

I guess it also escaped her attention that the largest organization in the world to help the poor is the Catholic Church. That it was Catholics throughout history who via very apostolates, ministries, and personal attention have always had a preferential love for the poor. When people are in need of help they go to the door of a Catholic institution or the rectory and not the local chapter of for example the Atheist Alliance International.

No doubt she is also unaware that the operating budget for the Vatican is around $260 million compared to Harvard’s annual budget is $1.3 billion. So I guess she means we are to sell off the artistic treasures in Vatican CIty and Catholic churches throughout the world. Hey great idea. Next time France has a budget deficit they should sell off the Louvre. Yell allowing people to see these artistic treasures is a bad idea and they should be distributed around the world locked up in private collections. Well how about Vatican owned real estate – well with a total value of $1 Billion and less than Oprah’s personal fortune it won’t go very far.

October 16, 2009 8 comments
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Humor

"Reformation Day" Party

by Jeffrey Miller October 16, 2009
written by Jeffrey Miller

American Papist posts on planned Reformation Day parties which of course coincide with the Day before All Saints Day.

Here is my idea for a party celebrating the Protestant Reformation. A Protestant can gather for example a hundred of his Protestant friends and by the end of the night they split into a hundred different churches that finally follow the model of the church as taught by scripture and their interpretation of it.

October 16, 2009 0 comment
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Punditry

Into the closet with you

by Jeffrey Miller October 14, 2009
written by Jeffrey Miller

n September 15, “StandForMarriageMaine.com” released a television ad. In it, Scott Fitzgibbon, a professor at Boston College Law School (a Catholic institution), argued for the traditional understanding of marriage as between one man and one woman and in favor of an upcoming referendum to overturn a law passed by the Maine legislature legalizing same-sex marriage. The ad unleashed a fire storm, directed at the courageous professor.

Fellow professors at B.C. Law School – one hesitates to call them colleagues – contacted the dean to express their anger. So fiery was the blast that the dean was forced to issue a statement that defended Fitzgibbon’s academic freedom (or right to speak his mind). But the dean also later joined a statement from faculty and administrators assuring homosexual students (and staff) that they were welcome at BC Law. Apparently, it is no longer remarkable that a Catholic law school in this country prides itself upon being “one of the first” to set up a non-discrimination category for homosexuals at a time when everyone, including surely BC law professors, knows that just such a category in federal law will be the nail in the coffin of religious liberty for America’s Catholic institutions.

This is a highly instructive event that invites comment.

Clearly what is going on here is an effort to “shame” Professor Fitzgibbon (and those who agree with him) into silence. The assumption by the angry members of the BC Law “community” is that his views are so far outside the “mainstream” that all right-thinking persons must reject them. They are so poisonous, on this view, that they make civic life impossible; anyone who holds them should be ashamed; they are intolerable. [reference]

October 14, 2009 10 comments
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News

Priest recommended to receive Medal of Honor

by Jeffrey Miller October 13, 2009
written by Jeffrey Miller

TOPEKA, Kan. (AP) — A Kansas priest already under consideration for sainthood has won the endorsement of the Army’s top civilian leader to receive the Medal of Honor.

The Rev. Emil Kapaun was a captain and chaplain in the Army in Korea and taken prisoner in 1950 when the Chinese captured his unit. Kapaun continued to serve the men’s needs, risking his life to provide them with food and water amid squalid conditions.

Kapaun, a Roman Catholic, died in a prison camp in 1951.

In one of his final acts as Army secretary, Pete Geren, wrote Rep. Todd Tiahrt, of Goddard, Kansas, saying he agreed Kapaun was worthy of the honor. Adm. Mike Mullen, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, has also endorsed Kapaun’s honor.

Seven chaplains have received the Medal of Honor.

His cause for sainthood was opened on June 29, 2008.

October 13, 2009 5 comments
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Punditry

Tolerance

by Jeffrey Miller October 13, 2009
written by Jeffrey Miller

Wow here is a director who really understands how to make movies for children and has a proper undertanding of issues that concern parents.

Jonze: What do you say to parents who think the Wild Things film may be too scary?

Sendak: I would tell them to go to hell. That’s a question I will not tolerate.

Jonze: Because kids can handle it?

Sendak: If they can’t handle it, go home. Or wet your pants. Do whatever you like. But it’s not a question that can be answered. [reference]

So surprised that Pixar hasn’t hired him yet.

October 13, 2009 9 comments
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Link

Beyond Morning Sickness

by Jeffrey Miller October 13, 2009
written by Jeffrey Miller

Dawn Eden writes a column on those women who suffer from hyperemesis gravidarum (HG) and a new book that helps those with this condition.

October 13, 2009 0 comment
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About Me

Jeff Miller is a former atheist who after spending forty years in the wilderness finds himself with both astonishment and joy a member of the Catholic Church. This award-winning blog presents my hopefully humorous and sometimes serious take on things religious, political, and whatever else crosses my mind.

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About Me

Jeff Miller is a former atheist who after spending forty years in the wilderness finds himself with both astonishment and joy a member of the Catholic Church. This award winning blog presents my hopefully humorous and sometimes serious take on things religious, political, and whatever else crosses my mind.
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  • The Curt Jester: Disturbingly Funny --Mark Shea
  • EX-cellent blog --Jimmy Akin
  • One wag has even posted a list of the Top Ten signs that someone is in the grip of "motu-mania," -- John Allen Jr.
  • Brilliance abounds --Victor Lams
  • The Curt Jester is a blog of wise-ass musings on the media, politics, and things "Papist." The Revealer

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