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The Curt Jester

"It is the test of a good religion whether you can joke about it." GKC

Parody

Personhood of Mississippi residents rejected

by Jeffrey Miller November 10, 2011
written by Jeffrey Miller

The rejection of Mississippi’s Proposition 26 known as the personhood amendment has resulted in a surprising decision by the Mississippi Supreme Court. In a case involving the question of recognizing corporations as juridical persons the court has decided that not only can corporations not be recognized as such but that the people of the state are also non-persons.

In a majority opinion written by Chief Justice William L. Waller, Jr. in part says “The scientific evidence clearly shows that there is no difference between a fetus and those who are born other than stage of development. Since the personhood of the unborn has been rejected by the voters it follows that the personhood of the voters themselves should also be rejected. We make this opinion fully aware of the consequences, but we must follow this precedence set. As the inhabitants of this state are now juridical non-persons they have no legal rights which apply to actual persons.”

This ruling is sending shockwaves through the state as the non-persons of Mississippi realize they have no legal rights to address this ruling or work to overturn it. Ms. M. T. Womb who voted against the amendment said “How dare they deny my personhood just because I denied the personhood of another.” The reaction by other former-voters has been equally strong.

The reaction in other states has been mixed. Some in the business community are enquiring into the possibility of raids into Mississippi in able to gather up non-persons to sell into slavery. Legal scholars are also debating the personhood status of a Mississippi resident on travel in regards to interstate laws. Pro-lifers who did not support this amendment could not be reached for comments.

In other news see “Congrats to Big-Brain Pro-Lifers“

November 10, 2011 4 comments
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Punditry

I seem to have woken up in an alternate universe

by Jeffrey Miller November 10, 2011
written by Jeffrey Miller

The following is from an article titled “Hold the applause: Save the praise for God alone”

All of this reminds me of an old Chevy Chase routine when he was a regular on Saturday Night Live. He would come on stage and say, “I’m Chevy Chase, and you’re not,” always garnering a big laugh. No one was ever sure why, but it seemed to touch a nerve about the comedian’s feigned oversized ego and his disdain for everyone else. The joke, in other words, was on him.

There are many other things that parishes do that drive home the point that some among us are Chevy Chase, and most are not:

1. Applause for a job well done. Apparently the choir members in our parish are so insecure that they have to be thanked and applauded at least once a month. And here I thought they were singing to give glory to God and because they like to sing.

During a Stations of the Cross at our parish school last year, the priest led a round of applause for the good job the children had done. I know our children deserve to have their self-esteem built up, but is it really necessary—or even appropriate—when we have just finished recalling Christ’s passion and death?

2. Mentions in the parish bulletin. My parish used to list everyone on the staff but the flower arranger on the front page of our bulletin. The new pastor (the one who led us in “Happy Birthday” on Christmas Eve) has thankfully eliminated that list most weeks, under the theory that most of us already know who is on the staff.

3. Prayers of the faithful. Yes, I think we should pray for the pope, the bishop, and the pastor by name, and all the other ministers of the church. But do we have to do it every week, and do they always have to be first? How about a prayer for “Jane Jones, who is fighting to keep her business afloat and to continue to employ seven people,” or “Mark Johnson, who is balancing his job and visiting his aging mother in the nursing home every day”?

4. Announcements. I once went to an Episcopal church in New York City where they made all the announcements before their Mass began. When I mention this possibility to Catholic priests, their universal reaction is a jocular “But people aren’t there yet!”

The implication is that the announcements are so important that they must be done right before the dismissal, so that it is the sending forth on our mission to the world that becomes the afterthought, not the precious announcements about what is going on at the parish that week.

(Here’s the way to know if an announcement is really important at my parish: The homilist mentions it, it leads off the announcements, and then the priest mentions it again before the dismissal. Mostly these have to do with an event at the parish that they really, really want us to attend, such as the special concert by the contemporary choir or the St. Patrick’s Day dinner.)

5. The annual blessing of parish ministers. If there is ever a time when Chevy Chase would feel comfortable at our parish, it is the annual Sunday when we all thank and bless every single person involved in any sort of ministry in our parish.

We (about half of those present) are all called up on stage—I mean around the altar—and the priest reads a special prayer over us. Then all those in the stands—I mean the pews—raise their right hands and bless us, reminding themselves in so doing that we are Chevy Chase and they are not.

All of this reflects both a poor understanding of the church and of evangelization.

It is a poor understanding of the church because it says that “the church” is really the people who work for it, either on the staff or in a church-sponsored “ministry.” The rest become onlookers and cheerleaders and donors and “the faithful,” and it is their job to make sure that we—the ones who actually the ones who actually run the church—feel sufficiently loved and honored.

So was this article published in The National Catholic Register or The Wanderer? Perhaps Crisis Magazine? Surprisingly it was actually published in U.S. Catholic.

I think this is the first time I have ever found an article from that source that was actually worthwhile. The full article is really quite good and makes some good points. I have complained before about what I call the “Liturgy of the Bulletin” and applause at Mass is becoming more and more prevalent. I’m thankful though not to have run into Happy Birthday at Mass, knock on liturgical wood.

Then-Cardinal Ratzinger said in his book “The Spirit of the Liturgy”:

“Wherever applause breaks out in the liturgy because of some human achievement, it is a sure sign that the essence of liturgy has totally disappeared and been replaced by a kind of religious entertainment.”

I couldn’t agree more.

We are all part of the Body of the Christ and have our roles to play. In the Holy Liturgy those in the pews praying and worshiping God are just as active, if not more so, than members of the choir or others involved in the Mass. There person who prays daily for the parish gets no applause, and should not. If you require such recognition than you need to refocus on what the Mass is about.

Does he thank the servant because he did what was commanded? 10 So you also, when you have done all that is commanded you, say, ‘We are unworthy servants; we have only done what was our duty.’” (Lk 17:9–10)

November 10, 2011 5 comments
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Book Review

The Alloy of Law

by Jeffrey Miller November 7, 2011
written by Jeffrey Miller

Being an accidental book reviewer I am pleased by my latest milestone. I was requested to review the latest book in the Mistborn series by Brandon Sanderson “The Alloy of Law” for SFFAudio.

Review @ SFFAudio.com

SFFAudio as you would suspect reviews audio content in the Science Fiction and Fantasy genres and also provides their own audio content via their podcast. The interesting tie-in is that one of the founders of the site Scott Danielson is an ex-atheist now Catholic. Julie Davis of Happy Catholic also contributes to SFF Audio. So now with me also doing occasional reviews there are three former atheists and now Catholics contributing along with a range of other people.

This is also an opportune time to re-plug one of my favorite podcasts “A Good Story is Hard to Find.” I so enjoy Scott D. and Julie D.’s look at film and books from a Catholic point of view. There insights and recommendations either help me enjoy more something I was already familiar with or direct me to something I should become familiar with.

November 7, 2011 2 comments
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Creating Excellent Parish Websites

by Jeffrey Miller November 4, 2011
written by Jeffrey Miller

It is quite easy to despair at the state of parish websites. They almost always seem to be an afterthought and so often seem to be stuck a decade behind in web design. As fond of tradition as we Catholics are, this does not apply to outdated web design with a geo cities look. In my own diocese I haven’t found one parish website that is even close to acceptable and actually seeing a current bulletin is very hit and miss.

We can appreciate those dear souls who are usually the ones that volunteered their time to create and update a parish site in the first place. Parishes have so many demands on them that actually paying for someone to design/maintain a parish website is understandably low on the list. Though unless somebody with some degree of web design professionalism volunteers your pretty much get what you pay for when it comes to free.

Diocesan websites are normally much better, but like all things can range in quality/functionality.

This is why I love to see things like this initiative front the Archdiocese of Boston on creating “Creating Excellent Parish Websites.”

They have a 2 hour discussion on this topic along with links to the handouts they used. The Archdiocese of Boston is a positive example of a diocese that has focused on using media including new media to communicate.

November 4, 2011 8 comments
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Pro-life

A Political Message

by Jeffrey Miller November 2, 2011
written by Jeffrey Miller

A “Choose Life” banner hanging from the entrance gate at Seton Hall University is causing some controversy on the Catholic campus.

The banner which was put up midway through October in honor of Respect for Life month shows a picture of a mother kissing a newborn baby with the words “Choose Life” followed by the phone number 1-800-848-Life for a pro-life help hot line. Father Stanley Gomes, director of Campus Ministry, told the Cardinal Newman Society he intends to keep the banner up for two more weeks.

But the student newspaper The Setonian says the banner has elicited “mixed reviews,” even quoting one student who said, “We are a college whose primary focus should be about providing a quality education to its students, not making a bold political statement before prospective students and families can even drive inside the gates and see what we have to offer.”

I wonder if there is a common thread between this controversy and the story of Muslims suing the Catholic University of America? Maybe people have come to expect Catholic schools to be so secular that the sign of a crucifix or a rather tame pro-life message can be controversial in any way.

In an interview with the Cardinal Newman Society, Fr. Gomes said he is aware of the controversy. “You see, even at a Catholic university like this one, students and even some intellectuals are not clear why we would put something like this up,” he said. “They think it’s a political statement. That’s how the world sees it but our idea is to celebrate life.”

Fr. Gomes said, “Some of the negative comments are that it’s an institution of learning, and they’re asking why are you making a political statement. But some students say it’s about time that we should celebrate our identity as a Catholic university and we should do this stuff more.”

Fr. Gomes said he expects more negative responses but he is undeterred. “I’m not afraid. We’re Catholic people. God loving. People loving people,” he said. “Even those who oppose us, we embrace them all.” [Source]

November 2, 2011 9 comments
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St. Irenaeus Ministries

by Jeffrey Miller November 1, 2011
written by Jeffrey Miller

One of my favorite Catholic podcasts is the one put out by St. Irenaeus Ministries that concentrates on scripture and theology.

Today they had a bonus in their feed.

In this recording from the 2011 Rochester NY Chesterton Conference, Hilaire Belloc (played by Kevin O’Brien) takes a sweeping overview of Christian history with a look at what he conceptualized as the five major heresies.

There is also an introduction by Joseph Pearce in this episode and Kevin O’Brien as Belloc is simply great and this performance makes up most of this audio.

MP3 Episode

Podcast Feed

November 1, 2011 0 comment
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Punditry

The Undead

by Jeffrey Miller October 31, 2011
written by Jeffrey Miller

Here is a timely rerun of a post from a couple of years ago.

In the last several years there has been a large increase in Zombie fiction, movies, and references to Zombies in the culture. The excellent World War Z, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, the opening of Zombieland this weekend, and the hilarious “Sean of the Dead” are just some of the examples of Zombies used in modern culture. Discussions have popped up all over the place on how to survive a Zombie apocalypse. Of course this topic is all in jest, but I think it distracts from the real Zombies living among us.

Zombies are undead, but they are animated going through the motions of the living. They survive as a mockery of what they once were and only imitate a truly living thing.

Zombie Fr. McBrien

But Zombies already walk and talk among us. There are plenty of dissident Catholics and dissident religious orders that are nothing but Zombie Catholics. The Zombie religious orders have no postulants and an aging community. These orders are truly dead since they don’t grow and are full of providing dead theology and the corpse of aging heresies. Yet at the same time appear to be living animated things fooling some into believing that there words have life. The truth will set you free which is why Zombie Catholics will concentrate on one truth while ignoring others leaving them trapped in the world of the undead.

Outside of religious communities there are also plenty of Zombie professors in Catholic institutions. Now it would be nice if these Zombies would physically rot so that you could see the source of the corruption they teach. Unfortunately these undead often look just like everybody else. Though Zombie priests and religious sometimes can be identified because they will wear anything but a Roman collar or a habit. They can often be identified because they teach from the “Culture of the Undead.” Zombie Catholics might seem quite comical, but don’t ever forget that they are quite dangerous to those they convince. They teach of death in two ways – physical and spiritual . You can hear them promoting abortion or relativizing it. Creating reasons for why it alright to withdraw medical treatment from someone who is not dying. Justifying sacrificing embryos on the altar of science. When it comes to spiritual death the Zombie Catholics proclaim how a sin is not a sin and in fact something to be actively accepted. Whether it is the advocacy of homosexual acts, contraception, or any other normalization of sin; it is all a part of the Culture of the Undead.

The undead like to make other things dead to. Now Catholic Zombies don’t go limping around mumbling “Brains, Brains.” No they usually walking around saying “My brains, My brains.” One way to identify Zombie Catholics is that they call themselves “thinking Catholics” and constantly call attention to how much smarter they are than other Catholics. They love to minimize and mock the devotional practices of other Catholics and will ransack school rooms and sanctuaries to remove statues, paintings, and other signs of the devotional life. They are also love to talk against the hierarchical church even sometimes when they are apart of it.

The idea of Zombie Catholics might not seem to be very scary. But if you have ever attended a Mass influenced by the undead I say be afraid, be very afraid. Zombie Catholics being of the undead like to liven things up to give the appearance of life and most of all to be relevant.

So how do we rid ourselves of the plague of Catholic Zombies? Well we can’t just go around shooting them in the head as in pop culture Zombies. There is some folklore that they are afraid of crucifixes like Vampires since they go to so much effort to remove Crucifixes wherever they go. The only real way to get rid of Zombie Catholics is prayer and fasting and of course personally living a life of holiness. Though we must remember the Zombie Catholics will always be among us to some extent. There will always be Zombie Catholics among the Wheat. We just need to make sure they are not taken seriously so that the damage they can cause is minimized.

Just remember that you don’t turn into a Zombie Catholic because you are bitten by another Zombie Catholic. No the infection spreads when people are bitten by ideas spread through the culture. The popular fads can seem new and exciting when you don’t see the pearl of great price in your own backyard. So the best way to inoculate yourself from Zombie Catholicism is to know your faith, scripture study, prayer, fasting, the devotional life, and obedience.

October 31, 2011 2 comments
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Punditry

Occupy the Vatican

by Jeffrey Miller October 31, 2011
written by Jeffrey Miller

A faction of Occupy Vancouver protesters stopped short of a planned disruption of mass at the Holy Rosary Cathedral in downtown Vancouver on Sunday morning due to a police presence outside of the church.

But the offshoot group of the anti-corporate protest — calling themselves the “Occupy the Vatican” movement — later decided they will march on the cathedral Sunday afternoon.

Protester Bluesky Wolfman, speaking in lieu of march organizer Kevin Annett, said the motion to bring attention to thousands of residential school survivors was postponed due to a “heavy police presence” at the Vancouver Art Gallery and the cathedral.

“We see history one way and everyone sees it another way and we need to come together to talk,” Wolfman said Sunday.

“We need to start discussing the hardest parts of our history together and that way we can move forward as brothers and sisters,” he said, with a group of a few dozen largely First Nations members looking on.

Other Occupy protesters are saying Sunday’s “Occupy the Vatican” movement did not gain consensus at Saturday night’s general assembly and is thus not being supported by the majority.

“Today’s march is not approved by the general assembly,” said Yann Savard. [Source]

How about having the proposed action totally condemned. The “not approved” statement is the cowardly PR statement for a proposed attack on freedom to worship.

As for “Occupy the Vatican”, maybe they need a geography lesson.

They are not the only ones who want to draft an occupy movement such as a writer at America Magazine. The non-ordained as seen as the 99%. He of course does not mention what would be the laundry list of demands, but you can guess the typical – women’s ordination, acceptance of homosexual acts, and something akin to sexual license. It would almost be funny to watch them try to occupy St. Peter’s Square. The Church is not only protected from the gates of hell, but even misguided people with protest signs, hey hey ho ho chants, and tents.

I was also critical of attempts at at Catholic Tea Party movement. The Church is always in need of reform, a reform that starts with ourselves. Pray and fasting are the bedrock tools of true reform not orchestrated movements with signs. Certainly at times protests are prudent, but they have to be grounded in the spiritual life.

October 31, 2011 1 comment
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Punditry

Horror Movies and Supernaturalism

by Jeffrey Miller October 27, 2011
written by Jeffrey Miller

Here is a subject I want to explore that I wish I could be more intelligent and eloquent about. Though being a blogger this consideration never stopped me before.

I wonder what connection there is, if any, between the increased loss of faith and the increased interest in horror movies?

As for myself I have been a long time fan of horror movies and the types of films that appear on the B-Movie Catechism.  Growing up my father, brother, and I wold go to the drive-in for double and sometimes triple doses of horror movies.  Which meant a lot of Hammer films.  Throughout life I have always had a fascination with this genre. I would often stay up late at night when I could to watch those classic horror films along with all the schlock. When my father became one of the hosts of Sinister Cinema, a local TV show in Portland, Or that showed 2 horror films on Saturday, I was delighted to do some research for the movies to play that week.

The question I am pondering is to what extent my atheism led to my love of these movies?  In a horror movie you get to go beyond materialism into a world full of the supernatural.  There are spirits and things that go bump in the night.  Things come back from the dead.  In horror movies the atheist gets to pretend that he realizes:

“There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.”

In horror films there is some echo despite how warped and faint it might be of the resurrection of our bodies. A purely materialistic horror film would be rather boring. The insane killer gets shots and that’s the end of the movie. Any supernatural events just get diagnosed in some psychological fashion. The haunted house is just a problem of old pipes. Something goes bump in the night and you call a plumber.

We instinctively know that there is something more than materialism and horror movies give us some sense of the preternatural. When our philosophy denies such we look for it in other avenues. Or at least that is my guess.

What say you?

October 27, 2011 4 comments
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Humor

Halloween and Christmas Parity

by Jeffrey Miller October 27, 2011October 27, 2011
written by Jeffrey Miller

First off a joke for those programmers among you.

Why do Programmers get Halloween and Christmas confused?

Because oct 31 = dec 25

I am not one of those who freaks out about Halloween.  I certainly have very fond memories of Halloween as a kid. There are though some trends that annoy me.

Halloween seems to get pumped up more and more each year.  In the past you might have seen some light decorations which mainly consisted of jack-o-lanterns.   There was a very small minority of people who would elevate their decorations to a higher degree.  Now it is much more common to see houses and their lawns decorated and now there are even Halloween Light shows.

I realize that it is now the semi-eqivalency between Halloween and Christmas that annoys me, it is that the commercialization for Halloween is approaching the commercialization of Christmas.  Before you could see tacky inflatable Christmas decorations and now we have tacky inflatable Halloween decorations.   Halloween Wreaths have also appeared in stores.  You hardly see kids wearing anything but a store-bought costume.

Maybe this is just merchandiser relativism in going after anything that brings in a buck.  But I want Christmas to be much more commercial than Halloween since Christmas is much more important!  How dare they start to have commercial parity. Oh wait – maybe that isn’t exactly what I mean. But I won’t turn myself into a “holiday” movie by telling you about the real meaning of Christmas. Just start with Luke and read through.

I just glad Linus of Peanuts was unsuccessful  in promoting “The Great Pumpkin” as a commercial venture.  Good thing Halloween doesn’t have a fantasy person like the Santa Claus as given us by Coca-Cola.  Glad they didn’t subvert another one of our saints for commercial reasons.  Bishop  St. Nicholas and the various St. Valentines must get teased about this all the time in Heaven. Though it is rather ironic that the vigil for the Feast of All Saints didn’t get this treatment.  On second thought maybe it would be a good thing if Halloween had such a character – that way Tim Allen could stop making worse-and-worse Christmas movies and move on to worse-and-worse  Halloween movies.

How long before we start getting “family movies” with the premise of a family learning the “real” meaning of Halloween? Though I guess I shouldn’t snipe to much at anything that promotes the importance of family no matter how trite.

Though speaking of the truth of Halloween, here is a link I have posted before.  An article by Father Augustine Thompson, O.P. on what Mark Shea would call Pseudo-Knowledge in that All Saint’s Day was a baptism of a Pagan holiday to override it.

So if you are going to have some fun on Halloween or watch a horror movie or two, just remember as a vigil we are to get ready for the Feast of All Saints, those great exemplars provided for us to grow in holiness. Especially the following Feast of All Souls.

Update: Here is another bad idea in the Christians against Halloween camp – JesusWeen

October 27, 2011October 27, 2011 5 comments
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About Me

Jeff Miller is a former atheist who after spending forty years in the wilderness finds himself with both astonishment and joy a member of the Catholic Church. This award-winning blog presents my hopefully humorous and sometimes serious take on things religious, political, and whatever else crosses my mind.

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Jeff Miller is a former atheist who after spending forty years in the wilderness finds himself with both astonishment and joy a member of the Catholic Church. This award winning blog presents my hopefully humorous and sometimes serious take on things religious, political, and whatever else crosses my mind.
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