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The Curt Jester

"It is the test of a good religion whether you can joke about it." GKC

Humor

Predictions and Non-Predictions for 2013

by Jeffrey Miller January 2, 2013January 3, 2013
written by Jeffrey Miller

Here are my sure-fire predictions and thoughts for 2013.

  • “The business of Progressives is to go on making mistakes. The business of Conservatives is to prevent mistakes from being corrected.” –G.K Chesterton
  • That the politicians that got us into this mess will not get us out of it.
  • That the main stream media will get every story regarding the Vatican and/or the Pope wrong. (thus providing continuous fodder for Catholic blogs)
  • That cantors and choir directors will continue to be immune to the “reform of the reform” and totally blind to the example of the Pope.
  • That the musical-stylings of Haugen/Daas/Schutte will continue to dominate accompanied by strumming folk guitarists thus making the Mass contemporary if you still lived in the 60’s. Yes there will be outbreaks of “brick by brick” actual sacred music, but it won’t be contagious in most diocese.
  • That the bracketed, short form, reading of Ephesians 5 will be the one read at Mass.
  • There will be more people attending Ash Wednesday than the Solemnity of the Blessed Virgin Mary, the Mother of God. Maybe we can come up with hangover-cure sacramentals to pass out to correct this.
  • There will still be no Jesuit college/university that joins in the fight against the HHS mandate.
  • The mandatum, which is required of all teachers of theology at Catholic colleges and universities, will still not be implemented and schools will continue to be secretive about who had signed/not signed it.
  • 40 years from now Catholics will be complaining about the catechesis in the generation before. 80 years from now Catholics will be complaining about the catechesis in the generation before. …
  • Jesus is still Lord and we are all still called to be saints.

On the lighter side of things:

  • I just might read a book or two during the new year.
  • Ironic Catholic, Eye of the Tiber, Acts of the Apostasy will continue to make me guffaw on a constant basis along with a vast list of Catholic writers. Creative Minority Report’s “We laugh because we believe” will still hold true.
  • “An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.” –G. K. Chesterton.
  • If you are not a joyful Catholic, you’re doing it wrong.

Predictions with zero chance of occurring:

  • Mark Shea and Michael Vorbis will become great friends after the Dalai Lama intervenes.
  • One of the things Progressive Catholics prophesy actually occurs.
  • Father Z will show pictures of his recently acquired rainbow stole on his blog.
  • Jennifer Fulwiler will start keeping scorpions as pets.
  • Fr Philip Neri Powell, OP will give up reading for Lent.
  • Patrick Madrid will have his voice surgically altered so that he no longer sounds like Patrick Coffin – or vice versa.
  • I will decide to read all the Twilight books and grow to have a fondness for sparkly vampires.
  • The Crescat will reveal her secret prized collection of felt banners on Hoarders
  • Raymond Arroyo will not find a chance to sing during the annual “The World Over” Christmas special.
  • EWTN will also buy The National Catholic Reporter and keep the staff of it.
January 2, 2013January 3, 2013 6 comments
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LinkPunditry

“The disgrace of papal blessing for Ugandan homophobia”

by Jeffrey Miller January 1, 2013
written by Jeffrey Miller

I had originally seen the story of Pope Benedict XVI blessing Jill Filipovic, a politician in favor of the “Uganda Anti-Homosexuality Bill” on boing boing. I didn’t pay much attention to it since the likelihood of them doing an intelligent story on the pope and getting facts correct approaches zero.

Then I saw that the National “Catholic” Reporter did a similar story “The disgrace of papal blessing for Ugandan homophobia”. I also didn’t pay much attention to it since the likelihood of them doing an intelligent story on the pope and getting facts correct also approaches zero. Really there is not much difference between the viewpoints in boing boing and the National Catholic Reporter.

Today I saw that Marc Barnes of Bad Catholic did a post in response to the NCR piece. Such a brilliant take down. His post is just a great read and includes such choice bits as:

Of course, Church teaching on homosexuality is in the bizarre habit of using verbs besides “Hate!” and thus remains widely incomprehensible to minds forced through our culture-war meat-grinder that renders all disagreement the total deprecation and rejection of the human person.

When I first saw the story I thought that this was the case of the Pope giving somebody a blessing, not endorsing any agenda of the person. The funny thing is that the blessing in this case actually never happened. Still as Marc show it is not surprising to find the Pope blessing people with Culture of Death agendas such as the Obama’s and other examples he gives. I love how he turns around the “Jesus ate with sinners” that progressives so love to use.

Bad Catholic has become one of my favorite blogs and such great writing as is evident here proves once again why. There is much engagement even with such a badly-wrong NCR article that goes beyond just sarcastic sneering with analysis as to where it goes wrong.

January 1, 2013 0 comment
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Prayer

Becket List

by Jeffrey Miller December 29, 2012
written by Jeffrey Miller

We should all have a “Becket List” where the only thing to do before you die is to become a saint.

St. Thomas Becket himself was voted “Least likely to become a saint” in his High School yearbook. Well not really, but this would have certainly been the attitude of those who had known him prior to his conversion. He is a great example of wherever you are right now on your own path of conversion that sanctity is always within reach while we still draw a breath. Especially considering the connection of the Holy Spirit and breath.

 

Breathe in me O Holy Spirit, that my thoughts may all be holy; Act in me O Holy Spirit, that my work, too, may be holy; Draw my heart O Holy Spirit, that I love but what is holy; Strengthen me O Holy Spirit, to defend all that is holy; Guard me, then, O Holy Spirit, that I always may be holy. Amen. – St. Augustine

Photo Credit chrisjohnbeckett via photopin, creative commons

December 29, 2012 1 comment
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Other

Blog Redesign

by Jeffrey Miller December 28, 2012
written by Jeffrey Miller

Well it has been a while since I did my last blog redesign. Even when my blog moved from using Movable Type to WordPress a couple of years ago the style staid pretty much the same.

Though I had come to realize that my blog might have looked alright some years ago, it was really quite busy image wise and not that quick to load. In the past I also had minimum support for mobile platforms.

So I decided to do away with the three column format and go with the main area plus one other column. This also gives me a little bit more room since at times I was a little cramped at 500 pixels wide.

I was also admiring the clean looks of some other Catholic blogs that I like. Though I noticed that in almost all cases these blogs were professionally designed. While I have all the pretensions of a designer, I just don’t have the talent to match and so this effort surely reflects that.

My long time image of Blessed Miquel Pro has been moved to my about page since I certainly still need my blog patron.

So if you like the new design or at least are neutral about it let me know. Otherwise do you really want to ruin my Christmastide by telling me that my efforts sucked? Constructive criticism will be appreciated.

December 28, 2012 17 comments
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Pro-life

Rachael is still crying

by Jeffrey Miller December 28, 2012
written by Jeffrey Miller

It is so easy to cringe at Herod’s slaughter of the innocents. This was such an evil man whose lust for power would brook no interference. Where even Caesar Augustus said of him “It is better to be Herod’s dog than one of his children.” A child was seen as a rival and the age of that child was not important, just the threat of the child to his life of privilege.

Yet we have become a society of Herods. Herodian marriages and Herodian relationships. The so-called unexpected pregnancy views the child as a threat. A threat to their current lifestyle. A threat to a financial situation and an individual autonomy that is inward and not self-giving. Children are viewed as a zero-sum game where what they consume of time and money is taken from you with no return. Our openness to new life is dependent on more mercenary conditions that must be satisfied first and if they are not met instead of sending out soldiers for the slaughter we hire the abortionist.

From the bottom to the top of our society the Herodian attitude rules. We have a President that we as a culture re-elected who voted for infanticide rather than to allow any threat to legal abortion. A president who time and time again has seen possible grandchildren as a threat and a punishment for his daughters. We have both Herodian mothers and/or Herodian fathers pressuring for the elimination of a threat. Even those open to life will accept the slaughter of the innocents via IVF as long as one child survives. The Highlander approach to parenthood “That there can only be one” when multiple embryos are transferred to the uterus.

If Herod had known a way to prevent even the possibility of a threat to him he would surely have used it. Sterilization of the people of Bethlehem or injected contraceptives would have been an idea welcome to him if he had enough lead time. We have those tools of manipulation that Herod lacked and we put them to use. First our selfishness demands access to means to prevent life and then we demand that others pay for that means. When children are a financial strain then of course even the prevention of children is a financial strain that must be eliminated. We might point out Sandra Fluke as the cheerleader of this attitude, but the way was paved by the normalization of contraception and the shutting of the door to life.

While our society has many trappings of the celebration of Christ’s birth we also have many celebrations of the Herodian mindset. We have become post-Christian, but not post-Herod.

Mary the Blessed Mother of Christ, pray for us.

Lully, lullay, Thou little tiny Child,
Bye, bye, lully, lullay.
Lullay, thou little tiny Child,
Bye, bye, lully, lullay.

O sisters too, how may we do,
For to preserve this day
This poor youngling for whom we do sing
Bye, bye, lully, lullay.

Herod, the king, in his raging,
Charged he hath this day
His men of might, in his own sight,
All young children to slay.

That woe is me, poor Child for Thee!
And ever mourn and sigh,
For thy parting neither say nor sing,
Bye, bye, lully, lullay.

December 28, 2012 4 comments
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eBook

Ultimate Saints Guide to the Immaculate Conception

by Jeffrey Miller December 27, 2012
written by Jeffrey Miller

I received this from John Quinn (Courageous Priest blog) about a book he and his twin brother wrote.

Amazon is promoting our new book called the Ultimate Saints Guide to the Immaculate Conception. We want to allow you to give it away as a gift to your subscribers/readers starting on December 26th –30th. We are giving it away as a thank you for all of the graces Our Lady has granted us. We humbly ask you, in honor of Lady’s Immaculate Conception, to offer this to you readers as a thank you or Christmas present.

We want to thank you for you time and consideration of spreading knowledge of our Blessed Mother. Knowing how busy you are, we are supplying you a possible post you could copy and paste with code to your site…

I want to say thank you and Merry Christmas. I am very excited to share this unique chance to get a free book about the Immaculate Conception of Mary. It is called the Ultimate Saints Guide to the Immaculate Conception, by Dan and John Quinn. Amazon is promoting this book by giving it away for a limited time (a few days after Dec 26–30).

In this book you will discover:

  • The ultimate proof of the Immaculate Conception.
  • Our Lady’s own description of the Immaculate Conception of Mary, as revealed by Saint Bridget of Sweden.
  • The virtually unknown story of Sts. Joachim and Ann, and their unique role in salvation history.
  • Arguably the best apologetic work of St. Robert Bellarmine, Doctor of the Church. This hidden gem has been read by only a handful of Catholics worldwide.
  • Definitive proof that the Immaculate Conception of Mary was proclaimed since the beginning of the Church. Discover, first hand, the oral traditions of the Early Church and their teachings.

You can download the book for free now at Amazon.

December 27, 2012 2 comments
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LiturgyPunditry

Two Mass-going experiences

by Jeffrey Miller December 26, 2012
written by Jeffrey Miller

I am of the personality that once I find a parish I like I would prefer to make that the only parish I go to. My wife though is of the personality where she likes variety and to alternate among a range of parishes. The positive side of this is that I do see a vast range of how the liturgy is practiced within my diocese. This also means there are about four parishes where I can go to and have zero complaints and several others where my complaints are mainly directed towards the hymns and the folk guitar accompaniment. As a Catholic blogger it also provides me fodder and the ability to commiserate with others regarding the liturgy.

Thus I had two very different experiences on the last Sunday of Advent and Midnight Mass.

To start with the good I was very pleasantly surprised by Midnight Mass at a parish I had not gone to Mass before. I knew they had Life Teen Masses so I was certainly on the skeptical side. This was also the parish that the current Bishop of Birmingham was the pastor of. One of the things I love about Midnight Mass is to arrive early to be able to sing along to and to listen to Christmas Carols. Christmas is one of those few days when you can be pretty much assured of not getting the common Haugen/Daas/Schutte dreck. I was very glad to find a well-trained choir with accompaniment by violin, some brass, and organ. The pre-Mass carols were also an interesting selection including the standards along with some interesting choices such as the Coventry Carol about the slaughter of the innocents – very fitting this year. I was a bit tentative when I saw a bunch of hand bells positioned for use. Again I was surprised when they were put to use by a dozen women quite capably with both a carol done with just the hand bells and other types of bells and with some of the subsequent carols. Really quite beautiful and fitting for a Christmas Mass.

I was also quite delighted with the liturgy itself as much of it was chanted and there was a quite thoughtful homily delivered by the pastor a Vietnamese priest. I was also in for a nice surprise during the “Prayers of the Faithful” where there was intercession for the souls in Purgatory. Now maybe I had heard this done before occasionally and forgot, but really when I heard this I found this so fitting and really something that should predominate.

For a more modern church there were lots of blank walls, but they had a large crucifix in the center and I can forgive much when this is so. That and some good sized statues kept it from being as barren as many modern churches. Plus the Stations of the Cross were quite nice and ones I would not mind meditating before. Usually I find abstract Stations of the Cross where I have to squint to figure out what I am looking at.

The parish I went to on the last Sunday of Advent was another story. It is bad enough to get the folk guitar treatment, but when it is not even good folk guitar it is even worse. Typical Gather hymnal selection with the exception of “O Come Emmanuel.” Now I wouldn’t even mention this since this type of mediocrity is rather common. What punctuated it for me was “Liturgical Gestures” at least that is what they called it. What it really is is a copying of hand motions as practiced by some Protestant churches. They directed the laity to do certain motions with their arms during the “hymn”. Funny how actual liturgical gestures such as bowing during the Creed are never emphasized, but hymn dance moves make the cut.

I try to assign positive motives to people, but the road to liturgical hell is paved with good intentions and hand motions. “Well we have the awesome mystery of the Eucharist, but what can we do to spice it up? Of course hand motions.” The type of thought process that leads to these liturgical experiments betray a certain Protestant mindset totally set apart from the example the Holy Father is giving and and the “reform of the reform” is nowhere to be seen. What concerns me is that this kind of crap is probably not going to be something exceptional in one parish, but is the type of thing to spread to other like-minded parishes. I’ve made peace sort of with folk Masses, but please don’t torment me with “liturgical gestures”, as the Curt Jester I might have a curt gesture for this in response.

Otherwise this will be the next step:
hand

The above is from a helpful Protestant dance ministry that seems awfully close to a parody to me, but if you want to learn messianic dance steps here you go.

Now whenever someone objects to any forms of liturgical dance or other movements some will refer to King David dancing before the Arc of the Convenant. Well when they decide to dance naked like King David I might give more credence to the argument. Though they also forget the part where he had scandalized others and the fact that this was a non-liturgical act outside of the Temple.

Now this is a parish church that has speakers blazoned everywhere in all directions. So that means of course you could not hear the homily or the readings. In contrast the other parish with no speakers in sight, I heard every word annunciated quite well. Now if you are going to use microphones then it just might be a good idea to do some sound testing and to make allowances for the speaking style of different priests. The use of microphones can make people assume that others can hear them. As a child and through my teen years I was trained in the theater to be able to project my voice in an outside amphitheater or a typical auditorium. Yes that does make me a loud mouth, but you knew that already. Maybe the priest’s homily was a good one, but I have really no idea since in 15 minutes I heard words bubble up from time to time. I could have sworn a couple of times I heard “sodomite marriage”, but surely that must have been my imagination. Although I am fairly certain I also heard references to contraception and abortion. If so I would have loved to hear the whole homily from a foreign priest that had not yet had his Political Correctness injection.

On the plus side of things as I had mentioned before from my own Mass-going experience that actual liturgical abuses are becoming much less common and that mostly the problem area now is with the hymns. As most people have assigned this as mostly a subjective area, this area will likely be the last corrected.

Bob Rice and Chris Padgett have a nice parody with “Handmotions in Heaven”

December 26, 2012 7 comments
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Software

Free Books and Software from Logos Verbum

by Jeffrey Miller December 26, 2012
written by Jeffrey Miller

Brandon Vogt has a post up on some free resources from Logos for Catholics which include the documents of Vatican II and Pope Benedict’s exhortation Verbum Domini until December 31. Brandon’s site has the details and the coupon code necessary to get these resources for free. Brandon also gives information on how to use the tool.

As a user of Logos for the last ten years I have been very happy with both the increased performance and power of the Logos library system and how they have become even more Catholic friendly with a number of Catholic resources. For example one of the most recommended scriptural commentaries is “A Catholic Commentary on Holy Scripture” by Dom Bernard Orchard which had been out of print for awhile. Not only is it in print now, but it is also available on Logos. The power of Logos lets you read the scriptures side by side with whatever commentaries or other writings like what the Church Fathers had said about a passage.

They also have mobile apps (currently iPhone/iPad only, though the Android version is in development) and I had actually just used the Logos app on my iPad to read through the Gospel of Luke on Christmas. I had not realized until I read Brandon’s post that the free Verbum app for Catholic Bible study has included resources where all you have to do is to create a free Logos account to take advantage of them. So you can use the current free resources mentioned above along with those included built-in resources without owning Logos or the Catholic implementation of Verbum. Verbum uses the new Logos Bible Software 5.

What is nice also is that if you go ahead and buy Verbum than all of those Catholic resources are available on the mobile apps along with of course the desktop version. Another thing nice about the Logos ecosystem is that you can start with the basic package and then either upgrade to another package with increased resources or buy individual books. Upgrading to another package is pro-rated based on what you already own. While it is true many of some of the older resources are available online for free – the advantage of Logos/Verbum is that all the resources are indexed so that they are tied to verses in scripture and quickly referenced.

I currently own Logos 4 with the Catholic Scholars package, but did not yet have Verbum. I found though that I could get the Basic Verbum package for $34.95 pro-rated based on what I already owned. Even better using the coupon code “JIMMY” from Jimmy Akin’s site I got a %15 discount and paid $29.41 instead. The %15 discount is good for any of the Verbum packages.

Another nice thing about the Logos library system is the way that it syncs on both the desktop and mobile versions. To set it up you just need to have Verbum installed and tied to your Logos account and then it will download all of the resources you own. So setting up on a new computer is a snap. When I just installed Verbum it used all the information and documents I already had installed with Logos 4 and was up an running very fast.

Verbum Desktop Version
Verbum Desktop Version
December 26, 2012 2 comments
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The Weekly Benedict

The Weekly Benedict eBook – Volume 43

by Jeffrey Miller December 24, 2012
written by Jeffrey Miller
Weekly Benedict

This is the 43rd volume of The Weekly Benedict ebook which is a compilation of the Holy Father’s writings, speeches, etc which I post at Jimmy Akin’s The Weekly Benedict. The post at Jimmy Akin’s site contains a link to each document on the Vatican’s site and does not require an e-reader to use.

This volume covers material released during the last week for 13 December, 2012 – 21 December 2012.

The ebook contains a table of contents and the material is arranged in sections such as Angelus, Speeches, etc in date order. The full index is listed on Jimmy’s site.

The Weekly Benedict – Volume 43 – ePub (supports most readers)

The Weekly Benedict – Volume 43 – Kindle

There is an archive for all of The Weekly Benedict eBook volumes.  This page is available via the header of this blog or from here.

December 24, 2012 0 comment
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SaintsTheology

The world’s salvation is not the work of human beings

by Jeffrey Miller December 24, 2012
written by Jeffrey Miller

Act of Veneration of the Blessed Virgin Mary on the occasion of the Feast of the Immaculate Conception

…There is something else, something even more important which Mary Immaculate tells us when we come here, and it is that the world’s salvation is not the work of human beings — of science, of technology, of an ideology — but it comes from Grace. What does this word mean? Grace means Love in its purity and beauty, it is God himself as he revealed himself in salvation history, recounted in the Bible and in its fulfillment in Jesus Christ. Mary is called “full of grace” (Lk 1:28) and with her specific identity she reminds us of God’s primacy in our life and in the history of the world, she reminds us that the power of God’s love is stronger than evil, that it can fill the void that selfishness creates in the history of individuals, families, nations and the world.

These forms of emptiness can become hells where human life is drawn downwards and towards nothingness, losing its meaning and its light. The world suggests filling this emptiness with false remedies — drugs are emblematic — that in reality only broaden the abyss. Only love can prevent this fall, but not just any kind of love: a love that contains the purity of Grace — of God who transforms and renews — and can thus fill the intoxicated lungs with fresh oxygen, clean air, new energy for life. Mary tells us that however low man may fall it is never too low for God, who descended even into hell; however far astray our heart may have gone, God is always “greater than our hearts” (1 Jn 3:20). The gentle breath of Grace can dispel the darkest cloud and can make life beautiful and rich in meaning even in the most inhuman situations.

And from this derives the third thing that Mary Immaculate tells us. She speaks of joy, that authentic joy which spreads in hearts freed from sin. Sin brings with it a negative sadness that leads to withdrawal into self. Grace brings true joy that does not depend on possessions but is rooted in the innermost self, in the depths of the person, and nothing and no one can remove it. Christianity is essentially an “evangelo”, “Good News”, whereas some think of it as an obstacle to joy because they see it as a collection of prohibitions and rules.

Christianity is actually the proclamation of the victory of Grace over sin, of life over death. And if it entails self-denial and discipline of the mind, of the heart and of behaviour, it is precisely because in the human being there is a poisonous root of selfishness which does evil to oneself and to others. It is thus necessary to learn to say “no” to the voice of selfishness and “yes” to that of genuine love. Mary’s joy is complete, for in her heart there is not a shadow of sin. This joy coincides with the presence of Jesus in her life: Jesus conceived and carried in her womb, then as a child entrusted to her motherly care, as an adolescent, a young man and an adult; Jesus seen leaving home, followed at a distance with faith even to the Cross and to the Resurrection; Jesus is Mary’s joy and is the joy of the Church, of us all.

In this Season of Advent Mary Immaculate teaches us to listen to the voice of God who speaks in silence; to welcome his Grace that sets us free from sin and from all selfishness in order thereby to taste true joy. Mary, full of grace, pray for us!

December 24, 2012 1 comment
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About Me

Jeff Miller is a former atheist who after spending forty years in the wilderness finds himself with both astonishment and joy a member of the Catholic Church. This award-winning blog presents my hopefully humorous and sometimes serious take on things religious, political, and whatever else crosses my mind.

Conversion story

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Blogging since July 2002

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  • The Curt Jester is a blog of wise-ass musings on the media, politics, and things "Papist." The Revealer

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About Me

Jeff Miller is a former atheist who after spending forty years in the wilderness finds himself with both astonishment and joy a member of the Catholic Church. This award winning blog presents my hopefully humorous and sometimes serious take on things religious, political, and whatever else crosses my mind.
My conversion story
  • The Curt Jester: Disturbingly Funny --Mark Shea
  • EX-cellent blog --Jimmy Akin
  • One wag has even posted a list of the Top Ten signs that someone is in the grip of "motu-mania," -- John Allen Jr.
  • Brilliance abounds --Victor Lams
  • The Curt Jester is a blog of wise-ass musings on the media, politics, and things "Papist." The Revealer

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I also blog at Happy Catholic Bookshelf Twitter
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