I have received a copy of a proposal for a new rite of exorcism currently being considered by the by the Congregation for Divine Worship. This is not a revision to the Rite of Exorcism issued in 1999, but a brand new document for an especially pernicious spirit. The new document is called The Rite of Exorcism for the Spirit of Vatican II. The Spirit of Vatican II Exorcists will be designated as one of the minor orders and these priests will be drawn from those who have already been designated to the Exorcistate and are experienced in expelling demons. The reason behind this I assume that expelling demons is a breeze compared to expelling the spirit of Vatican II from subjects. I will posts parts of this new document with some commentary.
The Bestowal of the Office. The candidates now come up to the bishop, and each touches the book and the actual documents of Vatican II which he presents to them, saying:
Receive, and commit to memory the documents of Vatican II, and have the power to lay your hands upon those possessed by a modern spirit and another gospel, be they baptized or catechumens.
Prayer. The bishop rises and prays for the candidates kneeling before him:
Let us, dearly beloved brethren, humbly beseech God, the Father Almighty, that He may graciously bless these His servants for the office of Spirit of Vatican II exorcist. May they be spiritual commanders, to cast out of the false ideas and heresies that have lead them and others astray. Through His only-begotten Son, Jesus Christ, our Lord, who lives and reigns with Him in the unity of the Holy Spirit, God, forever and ever. R. Amen.
The rite speaks of exorcists as spiritual physicians endowed with the power of healing. This may also refer to bodily afflictions caused by the devil; once the influence of the devil is broken by the exorcism, the affliction ceases.
One of the discussions in the new document, which is definitely in the draft phase, is what to do when the bishop themselves are possessed with the spirit of Vatican II? Some of the drafters have considered an Episcopal intervention done by other bishops or perhaps a single bishop designated for these cases. Some of the drafters expressed concerns about collegiality, but other put forth the example of St. Paul. Whatever the solutions posed it must be better than waiting for a bishop to turn 75.
As with a normal exorcism an investigation is required first. The investigation is required to determine if a person is actually possessed by the sprit of the age instead of mental illness or an attachment to a liberal political party. Mental illness might be a charitable prognoses, but the investigator should take care to find the actual root of a possible possessed persons outbursts.
There are specific signs to look for in discerning Spirit of Vatican II possession. This is not an exhaustive list and a possessed person may or may not hold one or more of the following:
- Advocacy for women priests. If they spell women as womyn proceed to the exorcism immediately.
- If the subject has vocal outbursts in a foreign language they do not speak. The exception is if they speak Latin. Latin is a sure sign that they are not possessed by this specific spirit.
- Denial of the supernatural. If they refer to the miracle of the bread and fish being multiplied as the miracle of sharing do not delay in starting the rite.
- Advocacy of homosexual acts or same-sex marriage. Outright advocacy is an easy case for this rite. Though normally the exorcist will have to discern for themselves when the subject crouches their underlying belief by concentrating on respect for the homosexual person or their anger at the document on not admitting those with deep-seated homosexual tendencies to the seminary. Asking them straight-forward whether they believe that homosexual acts are intrinsically immoral can cut through the obfuscation.
- Advocacy of abortion and/or contraception. Appealing to the “seamless garment” is not a certain test for possession, though it is a indicator to dive deeper.
- If they believe that the document Environment and Art in Catholic Worship which was never approved by the Bishops conference must be held de fidei, but Humanae Vitae and Ordinatio Sacerdotalis can be safely ignored.
- If when making the sign of the cross they repeat Creator, Redeemer, and Sanctifier.
- Has subscriptions to the National Catholic Reporter, Commonweal, America, and St. Anthony’s Messenger.
- Can not say obedience, male hierarchy, Pope Benedict XVI without grimacing
Rite of Exorcism of the Spirit of Vatican II
The priest delegated by the Ordinary to perform this office should first go to confession or at least elicit an act of contrition, and, if convenient, offer the holy Sacrifice of the Mass, and implore God’s help in other fervent prayers. He vests in surplice and purple stole. Having before him the person possessed (who should be bound if there is any danger), he traces the sign of the cross over him, over himself, and the bystanders, and then sprinkles all of them with holy water. After this he kneels and says the Litany of the Saints, exclusive of the prayers which follow it. All present are to make the responses. Do not be surprised if during the Litany of the Saints if the subject becomes uncomfortable with so many pre-Vatican II names. The person might try ot interject other names like for example Gandhi.
It might also be necessary to gag the possessed person. The possessed will often appeal to dialoguing and will attempt to do it for countless hours and then days on end. This faux dialoguing in not an attempt to get to the truth, but to wear you down in sophist arguments. Appealing to Holy Scripture, Apostolic Tradition, and reason are fruitful avenues in most situation, but only the most patient exorcist should try to employ them in this situation since the possessed are normally immune to them.
The next step in the exorcism has been known to produce especially strong reactions from the possessed person. Even if the person is bound it is suggested that a minimum of two people be on hand to hold them down and to assist you. The exorcist after appealing to the Holy Spirit begins to read the actual texts of the documents of Vatican II. As mentioned above be prepared for a violent reaction especially while reading Sacrosanctum Concilium. If the possessed person is not gagged be prepared for obscene outbursts like “Your mother is a homophobe.” Rainbow colored projectile vomiting has also been known to occur. While the text is read the bystanders chant “The power of the text compels you.” Make sure that a medical team is on hand in case the possessed person goes into shock during the reading. They will no be spinning of their head or displaying supernatural phenomenon, but the logic they will use in defending the spirit of Vatican II might make your own head spin.
The following invocation is then chanted:
From all evil, Deliver us, 0 Lord.
From the spirit which denies the text, Deliver us, 0 Lord.
From modernist interpretations, Deliver us, 0 Lord.
From inclusive language, Deliver us, 0 Lord.
From the pride of independence, Deliver us, 0 Lord.
From liturgical abuses, Deliver us, 0 Lord.
From disobedience to the magisterium, Deliver us, 0 Lord.
From an unformed conscience, Deliver us, 0 Lord.
From the spirit of the age, Deliver us, 0 Lord.
The exorcist than commands the spirit of Vatican II to come out
Therefore, I adjure you every modern spirit, every specter from academia, every dissident power, in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, who was led into the desert after His baptism by John to vanquish you in your citadel, to cease your assaults against the creature whom He has, formed from the slime of the earth for His own honor and glory that you leave this soul. I command you moreover that you leave immediately so that this person can not only come to enjoy the actual documents of Vatican II, but that he (she) may appreciate and accept in obedience all of the Church’s councils and magisterial teachings of Holy Mother Church. That he (she) may see the Second Vatican Council as an organic growth and not a starting point of a new church.
Depart, then, impious one, depart, accursed one, depart with all your deceits, for God has willed that man should be His temple. Why do you still linger here? Give honor to God the Father almighty, before whom every knee must bow. Give place to the Lord Jesus Christ, who shed His most precious blood for man. Give place to the Holy Spirit, who by His blessed apostle Peter openly struck you down in the person of Simon Magus; who cursed your lies in Annas and Saphira; who smote you in King Herod because he had not given honor to God. Depart you mischievous spirit that denies sin and calls right wrong and wrong right. I order you depart deceitful spirit to leave and to never return.
All the above may be repeated as long as necessary, until the one possessed has been fully freed.
It will also help to say devoutly and often over the afflicted person the Our Father, Hail Mary, and the Creed, as well as any of the prayers given below.
The Canticle of our Lady, with the doxology; the Canticle of Zachary, with the doxology.
The exorcist then looks for signs that the evil spirit of modernity has truly departed. Have the subject read from the Catechism of the Catholic Church and VII documents and observe their demeanor. If they look comfortable doing this let the person read some scriptural texts. If they can do this without injecting inclusive language for references to God, then this is a further sign of healing. As a final test have the person as a test of obedience recite the Affirmation of Personal Faith. If they can read this without breaking a sweat, screaming in terror, or any sign of discomfort then this is a very good sign indeed. “The devil can imitate humility but he cannot imitate obedience.” St. Faustina
The new rite looks pretty interesting and I certainly hope they approve it soon and make it broadly available. Of course there will be a problem getting the large number of these exorcists considering the extremely large demand. I also heard that they are considering a similar rite for schismatic traditionalists, though they might combine the two since they are just two sides of the same coin of disobedience and misunderstanding of Vatican II.
This is, without a doubt, my favorite piece you’ve ever done. There are not words to describe how good this is (or how much I wish it were true…).
First, we had the Dissident Book Club, but this Comment on the New Rite of Excorcism is also destined to become a classic.
‘fess up … how many hours did that take you?? It is very funny …. I can’t wait for a copy to be sent to my town ….
Curt Jester on Exercising the Spirit of Vatican II
The Curt Jester has details on a proposal for a new rite of exorcism geared towards rooting out that demon known to post-conciliar Catholics as “the Spirit of Vatican II”:
Way too much time on your hands this weekend.
“The power of the text compels you!”
I just completely lost it when I got to that. Outstanding work.
You really need to mark this as “satire”. After the Michael Jackson article, I’m ready to believe anything. 🙂
Outstanding, Jeff! I hope Fr. O’Leary (aka “Spirit of Vatican II”) sees it, too! 😀
Is that wailing and gnashing of dissident teeth I hear!
Yeah, I agree with Tony. I didn’t know it was a satire until somewhere in the middle.
You had me going there for a minute. Laughed out loud more than once. I assume this is a chapter in your forthcoming “Book of Holy Satire.”
VERY clever, Curt Jester! Esp. the part about reactions to Sacrosanctum Concilium 🙂 Your creativity and its application are delightful.
Only one part made me pause — what do you mean by “vocal outbursts in a foreign language they do not speak”? Tell me you’re not lumping faithful, orthodox Charismatics in with those who need exorcism….
That was very funny and so true, we should all try to bond together, and I think all, sometimes heated want the best for the church
“The Devil can imitate humility but he cannot imitate obedience“
how perfect is this! I never know how to put my finger on it, but this is it!!
Glad you didn’t make any hasty generalizations…that would have been really annoying. Wonder what Benedict would think of this? Or Jesus?
I suspect that both Benedict and Jesus have a sense of humor.
It’s the Spirit of Vatican II and his master who don’t. 😉
I don’t know how you could possibly have outdone yourself, but you have, Genius Jeff! Riotously funny.
On the other hand, I spoke with a Benedictine monk who had been sort of embued with the Spirit of Vatican II–though not to my knowledge to an heretical degree. And from that conversation I realized that it is difficult for anyone who wasn’t a young ‘involved’ Catholic during the 60s to understand what it was like for them. I don’t understand it. But what I got from this monk is that they took the post-Vatican II documents very seriously–almost as seriously as the Vatican II documents. I think that these documents need to be studied in order to understand what the generation gap is all about.
Please write a book!
My Dad just emailed this to Archbishop Dolan, asking when this would be implemented in Milwaukee…
I LOVED IT!!! But I have one tiny question. What is with the apparent “tongues” reference?
Oh that it were true! You just don’t know how much I needed this. The internet is a blessing! I go out now to argue with the forces of PC intent and inculturation of doctrinal belief.
That’s right up there with the Liturgeist post. I guess the problem would be telling the difference between diabolical possession by the Spirit of Vatican II or the presence of a liturgeist. They sound so similar.
When did St. Anthony’s Messenger become a force for the Spirit of VII? I always thought it was a rather moderate/conservative mag!
Salutationes ac congratulationes (!) de Germania
St. Anthony Messenger isn’t as bad as some, but has gone on a downward slide lately. Not as steeply as Catholic Digest, though!
Well, we can dream. You crack me up, Jeff.
Thanks for the laugh but if only it were true!
The Curt Jester did an excellent satire on A New Rite of Exorcism and alluded to a line in Saint Faustina’s diary, where she wrote, “Satan can even clothe himself in a cloak of humility, but he does not know how to wear the cloak of obed…
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