A reader sent me the following story.
Vatican City, 18 Dec. (AKI) – The Vatican could soon have a top football team, the Secretary of State, Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone, has said. "I am not ruling out that the Vatican could in the future have a soccer team of great value able to compete with (Italian top Serie A league teams) Roma, Inter, Genoa and Sampdoria," Bertone, the Vatican’s equivalent of a prime minister said on Sunday. The cardinal, a staunch supporter of fallen Serie A giants Juventus – which was relegated to Serie B this season following a match-fixing scandal – is a football expert who used to comment soccer matches for a local television when he was archbishop of the port city of Genoa from 2003 until his appointment as secretary of state this year.
Bertone had already hinted a few weeks ago at the Vatican’s football ambitions.
"If, for example, we were to recruit Brazilian players from our pontifical universities we could set up a great team," Bertone was quoted as saying by Rome daily La Repubblica. The cardinal added that the Vatican could also discover young talents in parish teams saying that "in the 1990 World Cup I noticed that 42 players from different national teams originally came from parish recreation centres."
Bertone is not the only soccer enthusiast at the Vatican.
Another cardinal, Fiorenzo Angelini, a supporter of Serie A team Roma, is a commentator of premier league matches for Vatican Radio and Sat2000, the TV network of the Italian Bishops’ Conference (CEI).
This is a serious story as evidenced by this exclusive photo of Pope Benedict XVI trying out as goalkeeper.
* I first saw the photo at Shrine of the Holy Whapping with their own hilarious caption.
My reader suggests a name that team contest for the Vatican Soccer team.
Pope John Paul II previously set up a sports department at the Vatican with ""the very intention of making the Holy See’s solicitude felt in the world of sports". I did a previous post on this topic and include part of it here with some additions.
Here is the previous Holy Father doing his part.
This appears to be a Vatican department to help to help re-inject fundamental values of fairness, ethics, transparency and legality into sports as its stated aim. Now I think real Vatican sport teams would be cool.
Like the Vatican Cardinals.
Where all passes are Hail Marys. Since there is a college of Cardinals certainly they can have college football.
Now the Vatican must have some real good athletes because newspaper headlines are always using adjectives like, bash, attack, smash, flay, irk, assail, denounce, hurt to describe their actions (and this small sample was taken from headlines just this week).
Other possible sport team names are:
- Tiber Tigers
- Spanish Inquisition (nobody would ever expect them)
- Fighting Papists
- Milwaukee Brewing Monks
- Papal Bulls
- The Mighty Magisterium
- The Church Militants
- Crusaders
- Flying Cupertinos
- Curia Commandoes
- The Dye is Casteries
- Holy Seehawks
- Peter’s Bite – After all the Barque of Peter is not worse than it’s bite
I am sure you can come up with some great names of your own.
34 comments
Of course, since we’re talking about a soccer team here, it would have to have a soccer-sounding name like FC Vatican or NSV Christopher or AC Castelgandolfo.
Would they use the Swiss guard uniforms’ design?
I like Papal Guards.
Hmmmm…
The Christian Soldiers (a theme song suggests itself)
The Rocks (“…you are Rock, and upon this Rock…”)
Tiber Templars
Vatican Victors
Their official name should be Vatican United but fans will know them as Ratzy’s Rottweilers!
OH Tim — I like that one – Ratzy’s Rottweilers
When I was at CU I was on a two time intramural ice hockey champion team that was made of of all Catholic students from the university parish there. We were the Holy Cannolis.
Living in Queens, NY I’ve always had a chuckle over the local Catholic high school sports reporting in the Daily News….”Holy Spirit trounces St. Francis” … “Sacred Heart rolls over Holy Trinity”. Or “Christ the King has stranglehold over intramural league.”
Yeah! Ratzi’s Rottweillers!!
Teehee. I’m all for “the Church Militants”
On my blog, I also suggested the Albino Monks, the Flagellati, and, of course, the Cardinals.
The North American College has the North American Martyrs. Really.
-The Saints
-The Papa Ratzi
Call me ignorant, but what’s a Cupertino?
John Paul looks like he’s trying to decide whether to use that thing as a hockey stick or a pool cue.
As for names, how ’bout Avenging Angels? I have heard of the Battling Bishops (tho I do like the Inquistion one!)
Would a female softball team be the Swinging Sisters? (insert Catholic school joke here)
To the Waffling Anglican: Doesn’t the “Albino Monks” sound too Dan Brownish for the Vatican?
(Or was that the idea?)
What’s latin for ” Gooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaal?”
Hilarious, Jeff. “Where all passes are Hail Marys”–I just love it when you droll out a line like that. Thanks for the laughs!
This, I think, is an extremely subtle tactic of the devil, a tactic used with incredible effect for the destruction of true Catholic faith and devotion, especially in the U.S. The tactic is so subtle because it is, on-the-surface, so harmless and FUN! However, any DEVOUT catholic who happened to have attended a Catholic Highschool in the US can show how the sports programs, especially American Football programs, are 100 times more influential than any religious program in the school! Religion, in comparison, is on the whole, part of the GEEK culture in Catholic schools, and only varsity sports are given real honor and attention…in all practicality. Because of the nature of the competition, those who don’t care to support or be FANATIC for the teams are considered either ‘out of it’ and ‘unsocial’, or even traitors. And this can often be the case when one is not really against the recreation of the sport, because in moderation there is nothing wrong with sporting activities, but rather, against all of the adulation, excessive enthusiasm, fighting and gambling, and also the attention bordering idolotry that is often given to these sporting activities in CATHOLIC schools. Where sports (and possibly theater too) occupy virtually ALL of the emotional life of a school, where can one find or foster DEVOTION to Christ..for instance, in contemplative prayer, adoration of the Blessed Sacrament, works of evangelization etc.. These are the traditional works and primary objectives of CATHOLIC Schools, that is..works of FAITH, devotion, and evangelization of the Gosple, upon which many of the Saints who helped found the schools, and the Orders who run them (ie. Jesuits, Dominicans etc.)were focused. Furthurmore, now these sports are not only promoting idolotry and excessive fanaticism, but are also involved in enourmous financial deals, betting, corruption..all of which makes the sports even more dangerous for ANY Catholic institution. In this way, sports should be viewed like a DRUG in their potential effects on institions and the members who are part of them. A drug can often be used in small amounts for health purposes, like alcohol for instance. It doesn’t make the person taking it crazy! But these institions FOSTER excessive CRAZINESS in sports! They are essentially the ones…SELLING the SPORT DRUG!! Many of these catholic schools make so much money on their athletic programs that they can do NOTHING BUT encourage them, if for nothing else but monetary gain. They are thus promoting more and more fanaticism and sport idolotry in Catholic schools, so that they can make more and more money for the very same schools… all at the expense of CATHOLIC FAITH which is where their priamry attention should be focused.
Now do you all know why any sport associated or promoted by the Vatican is SO dangerous?? Pretty soon the world will only know about the Vatican Cardinals….yes….the Vatican Cardinals soccer team!!! The devil will make them so good and victorious, winning multiple world cups, for instance, that no one will even think about the Church anymore. GO! CARDINALS! will be the new CHANT for the new evangelization!!!!..and the devil will watch all with a very big smile on his face and say to himself: “By golly, I out did myself! this is even better than American football!”
The Slapshot Saturnos!
Way to overthink things, A Williams. This thread is pretty long and not one person has mentioned that the Catholic University of America already uses the Cardinals as a mascot. That doesn’t sound like it’s the first thing that comes to mind, does it?
“Call me ignorant, but what’s a Cupertino?”
Panda Rosa,
Cupertino is actually named after St. John of Curpertino who had a vision of ascending into the air with a cross I believe. Because of the vision, he has been named the patron of astronauts! Good question though, and unless I had heard of this saint, I would be left in the dust with you! God Bless!
If i might add, Saint John of Cupertino is also the Patron Saint of test takers.
As for the Sports teams, Isn’t it nice that the Vatican is a jack of all trades? They have a band, and now a sports team. 😀
We could name them ‘The RocKanines’ to oppose ‘the Devil dogs’.
Some things in life you don’t need to overthink, Andy. Little details such as team names mean nothing. What is important is to realize that one of the most fundemental causes of the decline of the Catholic Faith in the world today is the failure of Catholic schools in their attempt to teach the orthodox faith to their students. To take things further we need to ask ourselves…why aren’t the schools teaching the Faith anyway? Here we can find some answers. 1st is that they are afraid of the faith, because it involves truth, grace, wisdom, eternal life etc… and if they promote such faith, they might offend some of the non-religious parents who pay well for their children to attend thier ‘prestigious’ Catholic Schools. So, what they do is make sure that there are so many extra-carricular activities in these schools, that any mention of the Catholic Faith, obiedience to Rome, Eucharistic adoration, Rosary etc.. is rarely ever heard, and it even makes them ‘shutter’ if someone, like myself, talks or brings up such Catholic things. So all attention is paid to secular amusements, activities, sports and other programs,which makes life easy for all. In come the enrollments, pagan parents are very happy for no real religion, non-prac.Catholics are very satisfied that they’re doing their minimal’religious duty’ to ease their conscience (by paying a fortune for their children to attend “Catholic” schools), and, in general, there is practically no real education in the practice, history or theology of the Catholic faith. I would bet that a simple quiz would reveal that only 1 in a thousand Catholic students know what a ‘desert father’ is? or what order St. Bonaventure belonged to? or what is the most famous book that St. Augustine wrote?
This is the problem. Catholic students know everything, every little trivia question, every statistic and every detail about sports, music or movies…but NOTHING about the faith, or even Catholic history! Is this an over generalization? Just test the students! Who is to blame? No one? What do you think, there is no blame to be placed anywhere? No blame for the administrators of Catholic schools? For religious orders who are in authority over such schools?? Who else are we to blame!? The failure of the Catholic Schools to properly teach the Catholic faith to students is probably the most fundemental reason for the near collapse of real Catholic faith in the world today! And now they want to start introducing this idiocy into the Vatican so the effect at the Holy See will be the same as at these other Catholic institutions, ie. ALL FUN! NO FAITH! Purely diabolical! But, then again we don’t really need to be concerned about these things. Let’s just go out root for the home team! GO CARDINALS!
simply click on Flying Cupertinos in the article
Vatican Sports again.
A. Williams, you’ve given me something to think about.
Hey I went to Thomas Aquinas College (CA) we had a sports team, The Crusaders, but we still knew the faith. Only problem is I hear the admin has put the kibosh on our annual Turkey Bowl, someone got a concussion (we dont wear pads). Maybe I could get some alums to donate some helmets and pads….
But the Crusaders is taken.
A. Williams, you’re ridiculous. I’ll be the first to admit shortcomings in Catholic education, but I think you have yet to satisfy anything resembling a burden of proof on how sports have anything to do with it.
I like the Crusaders. Of course, until their foundation, we’ll have to settle for the next best thing. 😉
In response to A Williams: I would say thst an overemphasis on sports might be the symptom rather than the disorder when it comes to Catholic colleges. The real problem is that Catholic colleges are less interested in being Catholic than in being profitable and prestigious. It’s the disease of secularism that is afflicting institutions everywhere in the US and Europe.
The real problem with Catholic schools is that the PARENTS aren’t teaching their children about the faith. You can’t expect less than 5 hours a week for part of a year to instill the faith in a kid. As for sports at Catholic schools, I must disagree. The lessons I learned about sharing, good sportsmanship, respectfully disagreeing, etc. were very good. Not to mention, it was always a lot of fun to see habit-wearing nuns playing kickball with us or to yell, “Red Rover, Red Rover, send Sister Agnes Edwina on over!!”
Copied from my post on the Jimmy Akin blog on the same subject:
“How completely out of touch can you be? I’m just out of high school, was a four year varsity letterman and you know what I learned in Catholic school athletics? DISCIPLINE, INTEGRITY, SACRIFICE, ect… I was not taught idolatry, I was not taught that my sport was above my religion.”
Yes, I’m writing from my perspective, from my experience of 16 yrs. of Catholic school education, and 4 year secular university. In all that time I played almost every team sport there was, basketball, baseball, football, tennis,bike club,soccer, boxing and varsity swimming. I also surfed, skiied and skateboarded. I am not against sports, I think they all are great and have their place in society..yes, even in Catholic schools. What I am talking and arguing about is the proportion and attention that SUBSTANTIAL religious education is given in Catholic schools as compared to other activities, sports etc.. If you are one of the students who actually learned something about the faith in your school I can congratulate both you and the school. However, I would like to test everyone in this same Catholic school to see if they can answer only the most rudimentary questions about the Faith, Church history, the Bible, Sacraments etc..
My experience is that NOT ONE of my friends from Catholic schools can answer even ONE of these questions…which are pretty basic: 1) What is a desert father 2) What order did St. Bonaventure belong to 3) What century did St. Gregory the great live in 4) What is the 4th glorious mystery of the Holy Rosary 5)What 2 countries did the 2 St. Theresa’s come from? Was St. John Bosco Irish, Chinese or Spanish? Name 5 of the seven deadly (Capital) sins. etc….
The problem is, as I stressed earlier is that in my experience, almost nothing of this is being taught in Catholic Schools. For instance, there are almost no students who are being taught anything on the desert fathers, or on the spiritual writings or lives of the Saints, or the seven deadly sins. (I am from California by the way.)It would be very revealing to give this simple test to all Catholic High Schools students to find out how many can answer ever 1 of the questions! Now, If you wonder why I am “…so completely out of touch”..it is because I realize that it is primarily the family and then the Catholic institutions and schools that have the most ability to teach the faith. And if the students cannot answer these VERY basic questions, but can give every statistic in baseball, the name of every professional football player in the NFL, recite the periodic table by heart and name every rap group in Chicago… there is a big problem and someone is to blame. We can then point the finger to the 2 groups for this neglect..families and Catholic institutions and especially the schools.
As said before I believe in the benefits of all sports! I practice or have practiced almost all major school sports. However, I see how these and other extracarricular activities are given so much more attention in Catholic Schools than teaching the students the Faith. The perfect balance is probably the method used by St. John Bosco, that can combine true faith 1st, with plenty of secondary activities to follow. This is the right strategy. However, what we seem to see, and can, I think, be proved by tests, is that there is a wealth of secular items found in catholic schools but very little true and SUBSTANTIAL Catholic spiritual education. I’m for testing all catholic students to find the true level of their literacy and comprehension in Catholic subjects. However, I also think this would be a most embarrassing revelation for the Catholic Church..on top of all the sex scandals! So, by no means am I absolutely against sports..only to the degree that they supplant, obscure or damage true Catholic education in Catholic schools. “Nothing is to be preferred to the salvation of souls.”- St. Francis of Assisi.
Mr. Williams, I agree with your assesment of Catholic education. But know that there are great advancements in furthering true Catholic education. I am quite proud of my alma mater, Thomas Aquinas College (www.thomasaquinas.edu), and I do notice a marked difference between there and where I am now, Notre Dame. At TAC, the school is Catholic, the classes, prayers, Masses, professors, everything is ordered to the faith. At Notre Dame, its a standard college, where oh, if you want to be Catholic, you can be. I’m not saying there isnt a vibrant faith at ND, but its not as if everything lives and breathes the faith, as it was at TAC. Have faith that there are a lot of good schools out there, many of them are quite new, and are training soldiers of the faith to go out and affect other places, like my fellow TAC alums here at ND. All of that said, I’m still an Irish fan.
I love all of the suggestions for team nicknames! Especially the ‘fan base’ one-Ratzi’s Rottweilers! WOO HOO! THANKS FOR THE LAUGH TODAY!
Monty Python to the contrary, the Spanish Inquisition (as opposed to the Holy Inquisition, Roman and Universal) was NOT characterized by “fanatical devotion to the Pope”, who tried to suppress it several times.
“Avenging Angels” would be the LDS team. (I think a TV movie with that title was made about a fictional Danite and a plot to assassinate Brigham Young.)
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