{"id":5846,"date":"2005-05-23T09:28:59","date_gmt":"2005-05-23T14:28:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/localhost:8888\/2005\/05\/23\/you-might-be-in-a-faith-community-if\/"},"modified":"2005-05-23T09:28:59","modified_gmt":"2005-05-23T14:28:59","slug":"you-might-be-in-a-faith-community-if","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/2005\/05\/you-might-be-in-a-faith-community-if\/","title":{"rendered":"You might be in a faith community if &#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"blog\">A reader, John S, writes saying:<\/p>\n<p class=\"bi\">I am hoping that you can help me. I&#8217;m trying to figure out what a&quot;<br \/>\nfaith community&quot; is. I would be tempted to believe that it is the  same thing as a &quot;Church&quot; or a &quot;Parish&quot;, except that if someone wanted  to say &quot;Church&quot; or &quot;Parish,&quot; why would they say &quot;faith community?&quot;<\/p>\n<p class=\"bi\">I noted the term &quot;faith community&quot; on Dick Vosco&#8217;s website. (I also  noted that all of the &quot;before&quot; photos were grainy &amp; depressing, while  the &quot;after&quot; photos were bright &amp; cheerful! It&#8217;s amazing that his  modernist faith community worship center designs even inspire the CCD arrays in digital cameras!).<\/p>\n<p class=\"bi\">In order to figure out this whole &quot;faith community&quot; vs. &quot;parish&quot; thing, I propose a Jeff Foxworthy approach:<\/p>\n<p class=\"blog\">Faith community seems to be one of those annoying terms used when people are unable to say church. People with this defect will also substitute Presider for Priest. I have wondered if a progressive with Tourette Syndrome might embarrass themselves and other by having the impulse to say things like &quot;hierarchy&quot;, &quot;obedience&quot;, &quot;dogma&quot;, etc. This would be quite embarrassing in progressive company. The term faith community seems to be prevalent in places not exactly faithful to the magisterium, though I am also sure that there are those who use the term that are. I wonder if anybody ever says &quot;It&#8217;s time to get up and to get ready for faith community&quot; or &quot;What time does faith community start today?&quot; The following list is some of my reader&#8217;s helpful suggestions.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>If you can&#8217;t find the tabernacle, you might be in a faith community<\/li>\n<li>    If you don&#8217;t know what a pew is, you might be in a faith community<\/li>\n<li>    If you are Catholic and have ever heard the term &quot;love offering&quot;, you    might be in a faith community<\/li>\n<li>    If your worship center distributes America magazine, you might be in a    faith community<\/li>\n<li>    If among the first communicants, more than three boys take the    Christian name &quot;Brandon&quot;, you might be in a faith community<\/li>\n<li>    If among the first communicants, at least one girl takes the name &quot;Brandon&quot;, you might be in a faith community<\/li>\n<li>    If the baptismal font has running or heated water, you might be in a    faith community<\/li>\n<li>    If &quot;Lamb of God&quot; is used interchangeably with &quot;Warming Wind&quot;, you might    be in a faith community<\/li>\n<li>    If the giant LCD monitor falls and crushes more than three liturgists,    you might be in a faith community<\/li>\n<li>    If the womens&#8217; club at your worship center distributes native american    dreamcatchers, you might be in a faith community.<\/li>\n<li>    If &quot;dark night of the soul&quot; is used as a euphemism for indigestion, you    might be in a faith community  <\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>To which I will add a few of my own:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>If you believe the &quot;Source and summit of the faith is dialogue&quot;, you might be in a faith community.<\/li>\n<li>If you have a rainbow altar cloth,  you might be in a faith community.<\/li>\n<li>If Father McBrien was quoted so much that you thought he was one of the Apostles, you might be in a faith community.<\/li>\n<li>If you thought <em>Natural<\/em> Family Planning meant using organic contraceptives, you might be in a faith community.<\/li>\n<li>If you heard a scream from the rectory when Josef Ratzinger was chosen as Pope, you might be in a faith community.<\/li>\n<li>If you have never heard the word &quot;conscience&quot; preceded by the word &quot;informed&quot;, you might be in a faith community.<\/li>\n<li>If those not wearing rainbows sashes are denied Communion, you might be in a faith community.<\/li>\n<li>If a large part of the church&#8217;s budget goes to felt for banners, you might be in a faith community.<\/li>\n<li>If the kneelers are covered with barb wire to discourage use, you might be in a faith community.<\/li>\n<li>If after your new church is built you thought that you should recommend the architect to your boss for building the company&#8217;s new warehouse, you might be in a faith community.<\/li>\n<li>If Father, Son and Holy Spirit is replaced by Creator, Redeemer, and Sanctifier, you might be in a faith community.<\/li>\n<li>If you thought that you had possibly heard the hymn sung by Barney before, you might be in a faith community.<\/li>\n<li>If there are Planned Parenthood ads in the back of the bulletin, you might be in a faith community.<\/li>\n<li>If you have heard of the Catechism, but have never actually seen one or heard it quoted, you might be in a faith community.<\/li>\n<li>If Ms. Magazine is in the literature rack, you might be in a faith community.<\/li>\n<li>You see no anti-Catholic bias in the Boston Globe, you might be in a faith community.<\/li>\n<li>If your usher greets you saying &quot;Hi my name is Bob and my enneagram type is the reformer&quot;, you might be in a faith community.<\/li>\n<li>If you have ever found marbles, sand, or goldfish* in your Holy Water font, you might be in a faith community.<\/li>\n<li>Your pretty sure the GIRM is on the Index librorum prohibitorum, you might be in a faith community.<\/li>\n<li>When discussing doctrine you have heard the term &quot;Survey says!&quot;, you might be in a faith community.<\/li>\n<li>If the only Latin term you know is &quot;Sensus Fidelium.&quot;, you might be in a faith community.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>* I actually heard one caller into EWTN ask Fr. Trigilio about their pastor placing goldfish in the Holy Water font.<\/p>\n<p>Recently Jimmy Akin posted in his Classics of Internet Humor series <a href=\"http:\/\/www.jimmyakin.org\/2005\/05\/classics_of_int.html\">You might be a redneck Jedi if ..<\/a>. Here are some of my own additions:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>You have a lightsword rack in your pickup.<\/li>\n<li>You outfitted the Millennium Falcon with an 8-track deck.<\/li>\n<li>You used the force to crush a beer can on your head.<\/li>\n<li>You have tried to engage Yoda in a burping contest.<\/li>\n<li>Your X-Wing Navigation unit uses the term &#8216;over yonder&#8217;<\/li>\n<li>You were trained by a Jedi Knight named Bubba<\/li>\n<li>Your R2D2 unit has a cup holder built in.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A reader, John S, writes saying: I am hoping that you can help me. I&#8217;m trying to figure out what a&quot; faith community&quot; is. I would be tempted to believe&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5846","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5846","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5846"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5846\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5846"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5846"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5846"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}